Will I be stuck in the FZ?

[turnerik]

first if you would like to read more about this situation i have other posts. there is this woman who i am falling for and yesterday i told her i actually want to date her, instead of just hanging out.She said she cant because she is still married {separated,and going thru a divorce}, and is not mentally ready yet. I am not gonna push it any more until after the divorce is over, and then we can talk about dating.

 

She was at my apartment { nothing sexual or anything, just hanging out} and she was leaving and as i was walking her out she told me how great it is to have someone she can trust, and how 3 of her friends slept with her husband. Im thinking friendzone, but she didnt say anything to say we couldn't date after she was ready and divorced. I guess im wondering how i can stay out Of the friend zone once she is ready to date. I want to be there to help her because she is such an amazing person, but i cant stay her friend forever. I want more with her.

 

Im hoping her divorce is done by april 2014. Its a long ways away, and i know i shouldn't wait around, but im pretty socially awkward around women, and most don't understand when im kidding, or being serious. This woman is different, she laughs at almost everything, she is smart{she doesn't think so, but she is}, shes fun. Shes family oriented. She hunts. She is super caring.Besides the having 3 kids and being 35 when I'm 20, its like shes perfect for me. I know the age difference and the kids can scare some people away, but im not scared.

 

I want to know if i should continue the way i am with her, and hope she wants More, or if i should do something else. like i said before i obviously wont just wait for her, but i dont enjoy going out. Its really hard for me to meet women. Ive tried before, but i think i have some social anxiety around girls/women for whatever reason. Im not a fan of going to a parTy and getting wasted every weekend. Its just not for me For some reason i can open up and just talk to this woman. A lot of people find me weird because i talk to adults, I'm great friends with my teachers. My friends my age, like me and know how fun i can be, but also how much they mean to me. it sounds bad, but i care about very few people, but the ones i do care about, know they can count on me for anything. As i said before any advice would be great. And im not running away from her.

Edited November 18, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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[d0nnivain]

You can & should still be kind to her but talk to her sparingly. If you are the sounding board for all of the woes about her divorce & her qualms about returning to the dating pool you will be friendzoned because you will be acting more like a girlfriend than a potential suitor. If you can keep the conversations on other subjects you should be OK.

[devilish innocent]

I'd say if you enjoy her friendship just be her friend for now and let the chips fall where they may. Either there's chemistry there on her end or there isn't. If it's there, then it will reignite when the time is right.