Biffo Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 Hi, Im 27 and going through possibly a break up, I don't know. My girlfriend of 2 years told me last week that she wasn't sure if she loved me "that way" anymore. It's a massive problem because I am from Australia and she is from Sweden. We met in Scotland, and moved together to Australia, and four months ago moved to Sweden. I don't speak Swedish very well, she's just started university and I go fulltime to a language class. I don't have a job, however have savings from Australia where I worked professionally on a good salary and she just worked casual jobs in cafes, so I don't think money should be anything to do with it as we've always said "its our money". I've booked a 2 week trip back to Australia leaving today (booked it just on Saturday night) so she can have her space. I have no idea what to do, because I don't really have many friends in Australia as I spent the last 3 years working in Scotland before moving to Oz for just 8 months, where it was just about working. I feel like I'm losing my girlfriend and my best friend. I'm going to be staying with my parents, however we aren't particularly close. I still love her very dearly, and really hope that this "break" or whatever will help us both realise this relationship is what's meant to be, but am very afraid that it wont. We've decided that a week of complete no contact is the best way to go foward, but I have no idea what to do after the week is up. We obviously operate on a bit of a timescale here, however I can change this return flight that's booked in 2 weeks and postpone it/ refund it. I think she still loves me, as this last few days we've both cried a lot together, so I know she's hurting too, but I just hope that she's not just using this whole "break" thing and saying it's best for me to go back for a while as an excuse so she doesn't have to directly dump me face to face. Sorry that this is a long rant, but I just don't know what to do.
Philosoraptor Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 Sounds like you need to prepare yourself for the worst so that you can be ready to move on and have a strategy together just in case. If things do end, where do you want to live? Will your former employment take you back?
Kansas87 Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 Yeah, I moved here a year and a half ago to live with my bf and now we are broken up. It is hard because I haven't made really any friends here other than through him, so I feel REALLY alone. Honestly if she ends it I would advise moving back to wherever you feel most comfortable. I am stuck here at least through May for job reasons, and after that I SHOULD stay at least another year so it doesn't look bad on my resume, but right now that seems like a really bad idea...memories around every corner... So if you have the means to leave again, and she calls it off, leave. It sounds like you have marketable skills and shouldn't have too much problem finding a job somewhere else. See if they have openings at your old place of work, if you have contacts there who might help you.
carhill Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 My girlfriend of 2 years told me last week that she wasn't sure if she loved me "that way" anymore. When a woman tells you this directly, listen. I'd focus on rebuilding your life in Australia and consider the costs here to be a scholarship at relationship university. If she truly loves you, at all, she'll come to you, since she drew first blood with relationship-ending words. Personally, I give that one chance in five, and that's optimistic, especially at your age. Young women *can* swing from branch to branch with ease, depending on their psychology. Since you outline no marked relationship issues, rather a blindsided 'I don't love you that way anymore', I'd say she's in the swing. Good luck and my sympathies.
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