Valen Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 When I was at work today, there is this female co-worker who kept on bugging me with the usual flirty behaviors. Getting in my way when I try to walk by, or poking me, or try to tease me. She a lot more flirty today than normal. She knows how to get physically close to me without crossing the line and it made me look at her differently. Look wise she isn't the prettiest girl at work, but her behaviors makes her quite sexy. I know she has a history of countless men, which is the main reason why I don't want to pursue anything with her. But I can't deny the fact that she knows how to turn me on. She definitely has a lot of sex appeal, partly to do with her spunky personality. And then there is another girl I work with who is the complete opposite. She is shy and quiet. She is very pretty but her emotionless demeanor makes her less inviting. Trying to have a conversation with her is like trying to pull teeth. It's so uncomfortable. So overall I'm less attracted to her even though she is prettier than the other girl. So behaviors and personality matters in some ways when it comes to sex appeal. As a guy, I can see which girl has lots of sex appeal and which girls doesn't. But how do guys have sex appeal? That's what I am wondering. What makes one guy sexy and another not if both are good looking? I hear a confident man is sexy, yea I get that but there gotta be more to it. So what is it that makes a guy oozing with sex appeal?
Adele0908 Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 Are you sure your coworker is flirting with you. It sounds like she is just being friendly. Confidence is sexy on both men and women, so maybe you are attracted to the "flirty" coworker's confidence. Confident people tend not to be sexually repressed. They tend to be comfortable in their sexuality, their masculinity, their femininity. They are not hiding their sexuality, so its a turn on. 1
MrCastle Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 I'm not entirely sure it can be taught, and I've talked about it on here many times. It's one of those things you either have or you don't. I'm not even entirely sure you can fake it. Although one thing I've noticed since becoming self aware about my body language and consciously finding a non verbal way of saying "I'm hot, f*ck me," is to slow down. Speak slower when you talk, and everything you do, do it slower and with purpose. Aside from that, I really can't explain what it is. It's mostly natural for the most part. You're born with it or you aren't and it has nothing to do with looks. 1
USMCHokie Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 ... it has nothing to do with looks. Meh...can't quite agree with that. You put a bumbling personality on a hot guy and girls will still swoon...he's not a bumbling idiot but the cute, hot guy.
MrCastle Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 Meh...can't quite agree with that. You put a bumbling personality on a hot guy and girls will still swoon...he's not a bumbling idiot but the cute, hot guy. I guess that may be true in some cases. But if you take a guy who's average attractiveness and pit him against hot guy who has no sex appeal, I think it's a toss up. A man who can express in body language that if you give him a chance, you're in for the f*ck of a lifetime, it doesn't matter if he's not 6 feet tall with washboard abs at that point. Sexuality/sex appeal is largely personality/intangibles based, in my opinion. 1
Eggplant Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 body language Yes there are so many nuances about the way people move and express themselves. Some people are fluent in "body language" and communicate well with expressions and gestures. I personally love this. Can't speak for other women. 1
Author Valen Posted November 18, 2013 Author Posted November 18, 2013 Are you sure your coworker is flirting with you. It sounds like she is just being friendly. . Without a doubt she flirts with me. Even go as far as to say "Why haven't you call me yet?" And there are times at work we would stare into each other's eyes with our faces inches away to see who would cross the line and initiate a kiss. There's more but you get the idea.
Iguanna Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 What I find attractive to a guy, even though he may not be really good looking, is humor and nice behavior. If he comes and tells a joke, if he has a smart look i will like him. One aspect I don't like on a guy, no matter how hot he may be, is if he seems to flirt with everyone in order someone to fall for him. I want to feel special. So what I would advise the guys to do is, be honest, show a woman she is the one you like and be smart, make good jokes, compliment her. These are the secrets in my opinion. 2
Author Valen Posted November 18, 2013 Author Posted November 18, 2013 Just study body language and start acting more confident. People that ooze sex appeal do so because of their behaviors. Behavior can be modified. I'm actually am confident. I don't have trouble attracting girls but the signals I send is basically he's cute. But some guys can send signals that make girls think "I want to jump his bone." That's different kind of attractiveness. I am trying to understand how they do it. Yes, I know it has to do with body language and behaviors, but what specific behavior or body language are we talking about? Perhaps words isn't sufficient to describe it, maybe a video example if you have one. By the way, I'm not looking to change myself in that manner, I like the way I am but I like to learn and understand the whole process of attraction.
Author Valen Posted November 18, 2013 Author Posted November 18, 2013 I'm not entirely sure it can be taught, and I've talked about it on here many times. It's one of those things you either have or you don't. I'm not even entirely sure you can fake it. Although one thing I've noticed since becoming self aware about my body language and consciously finding a non verbal way of saying "I'm hot, f*ck me," is to slow down. Speak slower when you talk, and everything you do, do it slower and with purpose. Aside from that, I really can't explain what it is. It's mostly natural for the most part. You're born with it or you aren't and it has nothing to do with looks. Good answer. Yea I agree it has to come natural. It definitely not an easy thing to explain verbally, but that's why it is fascinating topic to me.
Shepp Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 I'm actually am confident. I don't have trouble attracting girls but the signals I send is basically he's cute. But some guys can send signals that make girls think "I want to jump his bone." That's different kind of attractiveness. I am trying to understand how they do it. Yes, I know it has to do with body language and behaviors, but what specific behavior or body language are we talking about? . I don't think there is a specific behaviour - I think its a born thing you are or you aren't same as humour, same as leadership, kindness... I think that its just....this hard to put in words...I think its how the different elements of your character and look mash up together. Like some guys are natural "cool" in a kinda 007 way and for them smooth works. And other guys could say the same line in the same way but he'd look smarmy or like a player. I think if you find away to play to your own character then your good. If you try for something your not I think it will always look fake. I think coming off as fake is one of the worst things you can come off as. I think maybe theres some people that have really got it (the x factor I guess, that you cant put your finger on) and some that don't but I think for everyone in the middle its just environment. Maybe you take that smooth charming guy and you put him in the jungle and he hunt for **** and he cant climb trees, oh and he didn't tell you but he can't swim.......and then suddenly is that sex appeal still there? That's an extreme example but do you know what I mean - I think sex appeal changes depending on where you are and what your doing. I'm not smooth - in no way would the words smooth and Shepherd ever be used in the same sentence Im clumsy - i'm the guy who can trip over a flat surface, im the guy who could go to get milk and come back looking like he's been in a cage fight. Which admittedly probably doesn't leave anyone thinking "god he's sexy" but hopefully 'genuine' ...maybe 'likeable' But put me in the boxing ring or the football field and maybe you'd see a different side cause I've never been the most naturally talented sportsman in the room but I defy anyone to stand in the same room as me and want it more, be more passionate, be more competitive, be more willing to give everything. And its won me trophies. And I'm lucky I've never had a problem attracting girls, but I see the difference between the girls who see me in my day to day life and probably like you say think "he's cute" ("and really nice looking".....oh wait, no....just me who thinks that bit :laugh: ) and the ones who maybe who have only seen me in a certain environment - playing sport or maybe at work, cause im told girls like a uniform, who.........I cant physically type "who think he's sexy" because I sound like an arrogant tw*t and i'll make myself sick but do you know what I mean, like, who maybe kind of see me in a different light. I'm the same guy but I notice that when I'm in different environments I attract different types of girl. Same as if you put me at the opera I'd attract no girl at all because I'd be way to out of my comfort zone and be far to country for them uptown girls. I don't actually know if i've managed to say what im trying to but I guess its just that there isn't a specific behaviour it changes depending on the environment and the circumstance. Guys who "ooze sex appeal all the time" have to be able to adapt to any environment....and is there any such guy as that? Or is there just guys who adapt to more than others? Being able to hunt probably aint that that sexy at a vegan society party but if you were shipwrecked that guy would probably suddenly find himself with a lot more attention.
MrCastle Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 Good answer. Yea I agree it has to come natural. It definitely not an easy thing to explain verbally, but that's why it is fascinating topic to me. Watch Rebel Without A Cause or any James Dean interviews you can find. Some are on youtube. That's the kind of body language I have in real life and an example of what I'm talking about.
MrCastle Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 Attractive & SEXY Body Language Tips For Men - I Help You Date So how do you have that sexy attractive body language? Well! first walk upright, hold your head up, and hold your shoulders back. Next, SLOW DOWN your movements and make slower, calculated gestures Then, make eye contact and keep it when you see women. Don’t look away until they do and kind of squint while raising an eyebrow. I’ve tried a lot different variations in this area, and I’ve found that by SLOWING DOWN, I create mystery and intrigue. I practiced it personally by walking Slowly in a mysterious way, I use to change my gestures, how fast I turn my head, how fast I talk, and even how fast I blink. Also, start taking up more space and opening up your physiology. If you’re seated, keep your legs and arms uncrossed. When your legs are crossed it shows her that you are not open or read for conversation. Keep your legs far apart and your shoulders back. Don’t lean forward; lean back. This might sound a little far out to some people, but these LITTLE details make all the difference when dealing with a woman. Sometime, create a pause and combine pauses with serious looks, you will create an air of power and confidence.[/Quote] So, yeah. This is the kind of stuff I do. Totally forgot about the taking up space thing. That's a good one. Some of these came natural for me, others I consciously worked on (I'm an aspiring actor so I thought it would be a nice way to play a role of sorts and alter my body language) Another thing I've picked up on after reading it somewhere is looking at a woman's lips every now and then when she's talking. It's sensual. Of course you should also be touching any woman you come into contact with in a friendly, non threatening way. To get them used to your touch and to start breaking free of your nervousness.
StanMusial Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 When I was at work today, there is this female co-worker who kept on bugging me with the usual flirty behaviors. Getting in my way when I try to walk by, or poking me, or try to tease me. She a lot more flirty today than normal. She knows how to get physically close to me without crossing the line and it made me look at her differently. Look wise she isn't the prettiest girl at work, but her behaviors makes her quite sexy. I know she has a history of countless men, which is the main reason why I don't want to pursue anything with her. But I can't deny the fact that she knows how to turn me on. She definitely has a lot of sex appeal, partly to do with her spunky personality. And then there is another girl I work with who is the complete opposite. She is shy and quiet. She is very pretty but her emotionless demeanor makes her less inviting. Trying to have a conversation with her is like trying to pull teeth. It's so uncomfortable. So overall I'm less attracted to her even though she is prettier than the other girl. So behaviors and personality matters in some ways when it comes to sex appeal. As a guy, I can see which girl has lots of sex appeal and which girls doesn't. But how do guys have sex appeal? That's what I am wondering. What makes one guy sexy and another not if both are good looking? I hear a confident man is sexy, yea I get that but there gotta be more to it. So what is it that makes a guy oozing with sex appeal? The flirty girl is putting sex on the table up front. The pretty girl is holding it in reserve. It's no surprise she has "sex appeal". 1
Author Valen Posted November 18, 2013 Author Posted November 18, 2013 I don't actually know if i've managed to say what im trying to but I guess its just that there isn't a specific behaviour it changes depending on the environment and the circumstance. . I totally get what you're saying. So true. Thanks for bringing up some good points.
Author Valen Posted November 18, 2013 Author Posted November 18, 2013 Attractive & SEXY Body Language Tips For Men - I Help You Date So, yeah. This is the kind of stuff I do. Totally forgot about the taking up space thing. That's a good one. Some of these came natural for me, others I consciously worked on (I'm an aspiring actor so I thought it would be a nice way to play a role of sorts and alter my body language) Another thing I've picked up on after reading it somewhere is looking at a woman's lips every now and then when she's talking. It's sensual. Of course you should also be touching any woman you come into contact with in a friendly, non threatening way. To get them used to your touch and to start breaking free of your nervousness. Good stuff. The whole standing up right poster with head up high and shoulder back, I do that naturally and I remember this one girl once told me the first thing she noticed about me is my good posture. lol
theonlyjuan Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 Elliott Hulse posted some videos on this kind of thing There are other videos on his channel
RonaldS Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 At the risk of sounding barbaric and basal, there is an attitude known as 'cocksure'. It's a confidence borne of experience, a man's knowledge that he can please women...that he can do things to them that most other guys cannot....that he is a commodity that women instinctually desire. Women want him and he knows it. I've talked about this before. Its a subtle, unspoken, subconscious understanding between a man and a woman. Let's say you meet up with a woman for coffee. You're talking about the current state of society or politics, or a band that is playing in town, or the craziness of the weather. You're talking but your not looking at her, you're looking into her. Actually, more than looking into her, you're sort of looking right through her, and your look is quietly telling her 'yes, we're talking about a book, but you should know that I would absolutely ruin you'. It's hard to explain and harder to demonstrate. But when, as a man, you know that you have what they want, not only physically and sexually but intellectually and emotionally......well, then it's just shooting fish in a barrel.
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