Necris Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 I was thinking about this and I know I can't have sex before marriage so when you take out the whole sexual aspect of that sort of relationship, wouldn't having a girlfriend be basically like having a really good female friend? So what's the difference between having a girlfriend and just having a friend? If there is no real difference then why do I even want a girlfriend when I can just have female friends?
ChessPieceFace Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 I was thinking about this and I know I can't have sex before marriage ... re-evaluate. You're seriously gonna let some doctrine tell you that you have to sign your life over to a woman before even knowing if you're sexually compatible?
madjac74 Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 I was thinking about this and I know I can't have sex before marriage so when you take out the whole sexual aspect of that sort of relationship, wouldn't having a girlfriend be basically like having a really good female friend? So what's the difference between having a girlfriend and just having a friend? If there is no real difference then why do I even want a girlfriend when I can just have female friends? In your case there is no reason to have a girlfriend. But for the vast majority of people who are having sex before marriage...or the vast majority of people having sex after marriage (divorce), then there is a need at times to establish commitment and only having one sex partner. It also may be debatable for most guys why they even need that.
Trimmer Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 (edited) I was thinking about this and I know I can't have sex before marriage so when you take out the whole sexual aspect of that sort of relationship, wouldn't having a girlfriend be basically like having a really good female friend? So what's the difference between having a girlfriend and just having a friend? If there is no real difference then why do I even want a girlfriend when I can just have female friends? I would suggest that the difference is that a "friend" is often one of a number of (essentially) equals in terms of her relationship with you. You might have several "friends", each of whom might be unique in her own right, but no one of whom do you elevate to a particular unique status in your own life. Also, with friends, there is usually some boundary around intimacy - not just sex, but emotional intimacy as well. A "girlfriend" is one of a kind in your life. There's a dedication, a commitment, and a mutual intention to elevate each other to a status that no other "friend" has access to. Also, the exchange of emotional intimacy is usually much deeper than in a "friend" relationship. Theoretically, you can consider these factors without bringing sex into it, although these days, you will find that many people prefer not to stay in that dedicated, committed, "girlfriend/boyfriend" status for a long period without incorporating sex into the relationship. Most people find that it's an obvious evolution of the relationship at the boyfriend/girlfriend level. That's not to say that it can't be done, or that you might not find someone of a similar mind at your church or elsewhere, just that sex is a fairly common element in a modern boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. How old are you? Edited November 18, 2013 by Trimmer 1
todreaminblue Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 i am older so i whether i am having sex or not..a boyfriend is completely different from male friends.... i dont hold hands with them, only guys i date....i dont cuddle male friends.... i dont go on one on one dates with male friends and i dont kiss them ......"if" i were to get a boyfriend i would expect the same deal...for him to have a relationship that is above friendship he would know......and feel the same...i guess......deb
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