freebird31 Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 I think I found a logical explanation for the break up of my 8 month relationship. You see, theres three stages in a relationship. Infatuation stage. Power-struggle stage. And Love stage. The infatuation stage is when you and your partner’s hormones are off the roof in the first part of your relationship. It is an exciting time when you learn new things about your partner. The Power struggle stage is when your partner is challenged by your differences and vice versa. This is where your relationship is tested. ( Also I read this part somewhere so I do not take credit) But during this stage many factors may lead to the breaking of the relationship: such as: not being ready to commit, differences in values, etc. This is basically the make it or break it stage. Then theres the stage after this, when you are in love with the person. You have gone through all the bumpy roads and know your partner completely well, know ALL their flaws. It is when you can not like them and at the same time love them. You have complete trust in each other. I believe this stage takes years to get to. BUT since me and my boyfriend were only dating for EIGHT months, I have come to the conclusion that….we did not love each other, RATHER we were just infatuated with each other. And IDC what anyone says. Ive heard it ALLLL “He broke up with you because he wasn’t that into you.” “He did not love you” The second one is true. We didnt love eachother...yet. But I DON’T THINK HE broke up with me bc he was "not that into me". Of course he was. He admitted to me he is still attracted to me a couple months after the break up. The thing is it would have been different if we dated for many years like 5 years, and go through all three stages THEN broke up. But we never had the chance to experience what real love was and wat kind of happiness we could have brought in each other. We only got as far as the infatuation stage. He broke up with me because 90% of his time went to work btw and he was moving away. I do believe he was not ready to commit to a relationship. And I do believe that feelings are still there between us. !! AND I do believe that there is a chance for us to work out ONLY in the future when He is ready and I am ready as well. As for right now we are young early 20s we have so much more to experience and be single while we can. And POINT is I don’t believe ANY of the bull crap that people feed me when they say “He just was not that into you” BULL SH** He was. He just wasn’t ready to commit. Another thing that young people who are inexperienced in relationships don’t know is that realtionships take WORK. And NO relationship is perfect. That’s why some people jump from relationship to relationship hoping to find someone less dramatic. Thing is, if it doesn’t challenge you its not helping you grow. And if youre looking for a relationship that doesn’t take work, time, energy and effort, good luck. Because every relationship needs this to succeed. Besides why wouldn’t you want to be with someone who challenges you and makes you grow. ANYWAY. POINT 2 is I DO believe, regardless of what everyone says, that we didn’t get to experience true love with eachother and who knows we may or may not get the chance in the future when our stars cross again. But for now, I completely DISAGREE with anyone who has ever told me that. Or told me that “age has nothing to do with it. If you really wanted to be with someone you would” ALTHOUGH this is in a way true, I disagree. i believe age plays a HUGE factor. The more mature you are, the more willing you are to commit. And the more mature you are, you must have realized at some point growing that every relationship takes work. SO AGE DOES MATTER. I have so much more to say. I should just write a book.
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