gorbalrog101 Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 hello everyone, so at the beginning of november i found out that the girl i had been with for 10 years was cheating on me. i will explain all the details that lead to this event and hope i can get sum answer from you guys...... so my story begins when i was 8 yrs old. id known this girl as a child and somehow ended up with her at the age of 13. it was pretty much love at first site, and we both even lost our virginities to each other. weve had our ups and downs and we always got through every situation. i love her dearly and i knew she loved me too. anyways, somewere between our 8th year i did something that i shouldnt have done. i was blacked out drunk one night and when i woke the next day she said i became abusive, and was scared of me. i have never been like this but that night idk wtf happened. i dont remember doing any of it, i was too drunk. i no i cant change the past but i regreted it so much that i vowed to never drink again and i kept my promise to her. ive tried my hardest to be the best bf i could be. anyways, after sum time i had believed she had forgiven me and i did feel her love once again. By the beggining of our 9th year i left her for school for a semester. this is were my gut began to feel her love slippin. after i came back she acted differently, she enjoyed her friends more, and acted mean. however, by the end of the year she became attached to me again, i could feel her love once again (like i said we always get though things). at the begging of this year tho, she came to me and told me she had been diagnosed with multiple cancerous tumors. i was so sad. i was heartbroken. i couldnt believe that this was happening to us, that she was going to be gone soon. little did i know wat was in store for me. as the months went by, i would contact her, but it basically came down to us seeing each other about once a week and texting a few sentences a day. this went on for about 7 months. afterwards, her fone cut off, and i lost contact with her. i couldnt help it anymore and after 1 month of NC i went to her parents house to find out wat was happening with her. thats when my heart shattered. she came out of her house, as i approched, with another guy. idk how long she had been dating this guy but i can assume it began sumwere in feb! so she didnt even talk to me, she had her mom threaten me and tell me to leave. a few days later i emailed her asking her for answers. she answered with three emails. i will share them in hope that someone tells me wat the mean: ""I didn't mean for it to end this way, I tried very hard to forgive you for that time in the bathroom. I went to therapy to try to get myself to forget about it. What I came to realize was that I couldn't do it. I will forever remember that and I am a completely diffferent person because of it. And still the worse part is that you don't remember. I do love you a lot. And idk if I will forever love you cause you have been with me for so long. But I can't continue being unhappy. That moment changed me forever. I will miss you very much. I am very sad as well and I hope you find someone that you will ttreat well and them to you. How I wish that never happened and I could of been happy with you. I do love you as I said but I can't look tell you or be next to you without thinking that that will happen again." the other: ""something like this is hard to get over honestly. I know you don't remember but it really hurt me in all ways. I know you were trying but this is something that lay deep inside me and I'm still battling with that depression now. I'm always going to hold you dear because we did grow up together and we know each other the best. I honestly wish that never happened and everything was fine between us. My mind is just not cllear at all.It's hard to stay away from you I urge to go over now and make everything okay but I know it isn't right cause you probably wouldn't like my presense and I don't think I can face you without crying and wanting you back. I'm only hurting you at this point. I didn't want to get rid of you. That's not my intension at all. I just have to get over what happened, get over this depression, this anxiety, this fear I have. I'm damaged and not mentally fine. My heart hurts aswell"" lastly: ""I'll meet with you, just give me sometime to calm down please. It's all I ask. Don't go crazy things will settle just give me sometime to collect my thoughts"" im crushed. and im confused. if she didnt want me around, y did she keep me around for 7 months while she was dating a new guy? why couldnt she just break up with me and tell me to f*** off if she felt that way? DOes anyone think that ttheres a chance to win her back, or will this finally be the end of the road for our relationship. will giving her space bring her back? is she still interested in me? i sent her those emails but after a week i told her i wasnt going to continue chasing her bc i want to respect the fact that she wants space. she said i was her dream man, can that one mistake really end all of this? anyways i trip out, cause i feel like she does want me, bc she was with the other guy while with me. she still told me she loved me, made love to me, and didnt get rid of me right away. one of the last times i was with her was for our 10 year anniversay. she bought me dinner and assured me everything was fine. but after one more meet after our anniversary (my bday actually) she disapperead. i feel like shes in limbo, but at the same time i think shes now actually moving on. wat do i do now? is there any hope? were those farewell emails?
Author gorbalrog101 Posted November 18, 2013 Author Posted November 18, 2013 her cancer story is false btw. everything she said she was dealing with was a lie. if anything, i heard she moved out with the guy shes with in feb. but now shes living at her parents house with him
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