Angelus666 Posted December 26, 2004 Posted December 26, 2004 Hello, I would just like to introduce myself and say hello in my first tread. I have read a lot of the treads here, and I would just like to say that a lot of them are very informative. Anyways, on topic. I was just wondering how you guys cope with your girlfriends/wives menstrual cycles? Not only the part where no sexual relations can happen, but also the attitude that comes with it. Let me give you and example. Me, my girlfriend and a few of our friends were drinking at her house on a weekend and she refused to acknowledge me at all. She barely talked at all, let alone to me, and she refused to even hold hands or kiss. Afterward she apologized, but I felt distant and isolated from her life. What upsets me is that my girlfriend has gotten her third period this month, and its really driving the both of us nuts. She switched off the pregnancy patch, and now she is on the pill, and it’s giving her erratic periods. She is seeing her doctor on Tuesday to see if she can go back to the patch. But how do you guys cope? Im sure this has been asked before but I didnt see anything realted to it. I try to comfort her by spending time with her, watching a movie, or just hanging out. In the end, she usually ends up upset over the smallest thing, and then sometime later, things are said. Any female suggestions are of course welcome. Thanks.
alphamale Posted December 26, 2004 Posted December 26, 2004 Originally posted by Norb8 But how do you guys cope? Im sure this has been asked before but I didnt see anything realted to it. I try to comfort her by spending time with her, watching a movie, or just hanging out. In the end, she usually ends up upset over the smallest thing, and then sometime later, things are said. Any female suggestions are of course welcome. Thanks. when she starts misbehaving and blames it on her "period" or PMS you just take off and disassociate yourself with her. don't be nice to her during this time you just make yourself scarce. otherwise she will start to associate you with her time of the month. a woman whose behavior is negative should not be positively reinforced.
Ubermale Posted December 26, 2004 Posted December 26, 2004 I am glad you guys are working on it together, and very glad she taking responsibility for a problem which most likely can be solved medically. Giving her space is not a bad idea, but don't be a useless dick about it, as suggested above. If you or she need isolation, just suggest to her you both might need time for yourselves, give her some stuff if she asks for it, then go do your own thing.
RowanRavyn Posted December 26, 2004 Posted December 26, 2004 Please ignore AlphaMale. While his advise might apply to a woman who is not exhibiting a medical problem as you described, it is not appropriate for a woman who is on her third period in a month and is adjusting to the hormonal side affects of birth control. Please ask her if you can attend her doctors visit. That way you know from the doctor whats going on. Hormonal BC methods can seriously mess with a womans head, and the head of everyone around her. She should also have her iron levels checked to make sure she isn't anemic. This is a physical issue. If you guys are used to a very active sex life and suddenly she had no idea when she is going to bleed, or if she is going to stop bleeding, this can have a serious impact on her AND you. If she isn't self conscious, and you are game there is no reason you can't continue to be active during this. Try doing it in the shower. A good orgasm might be just what she needs.
TylerC Posted December 26, 2004 Posted December 26, 2004 Do as AlphaMale said, just get out and hang with the guys or something. Luckily, Lauren doesn't get bitchy or anything when she's on her period.
RowanRavyn Posted December 26, 2004 Posted December 26, 2004 Three weeks of bleeding are not a period. It is a serious medical condition.
Author Angelus666 Posted December 26, 2004 Author Posted December 26, 2004 Thanks for all the post. She told me that maybe twice a year, she will get two periods a month, and she says this is normal for her. She got her third period on the last day of the month, so maybe this the timing is off? I dont think we can call it a really big medical problem just yet, but I will talk to her about it. I hope shes okay, and that the doctor will say so too.
CurvyGurl Posted December 27, 2004 Posted December 27, 2004 Originally posted by RowanRavyn Three weeks of bleeding are not a period. It is a serious medical condition. True. . She's probably experiencing some tiredness and anemia from loss of blood-- this can lead to irritability. Especially if she's worried, I can see emotions raging. A little patience and perhaps some space will go a long way. Let her come to you, she'll know she was bitchy. It's good to know that some men care enough to be concerned!
Scott S Posted December 27, 2004 Posted December 27, 2004 Originally posted by Angelus666 I try to comfort her by spending time with her, watching a movie, or just hanging out. In the end, she usually ends up upset over the smallest thing, and then sometime later, things are said. Any female suggestions are of course welcome. Thanks. Different women go through different things, so one must be careful not to overgeneralize. Other than trying to comfort her & give her the space she wants, there is little you can do. There is no medical reason to refrain from sex. Some women have said that sex often helps relieve some of the discomfort, although it will be a lot messier than either of you may care for. Of course, what you have described is quite out of the ordinary. I am glad to read that she is going to the doctor about that. Thank you, dear Lord, for my "Y" chromosomes!
Sukotto Posted December 27, 2004 Posted December 27, 2004 Erm no sex? Me and my ex would have sex regardless, yeah it may be a little bit messy but who has the right to judge whats right and wrong. Though I would usually avoid her on the first day, she would have cramp, headaches and be generally a moody bitch. Though coming off any hormonal birth control can pretty much make it either not come back for a few months or come back often. Seeing the doctor is the best idea.
moimeme Posted December 28, 2004 Posted December 28, 2004 when she starts misbehaving and blames it on her "period" or PMS you just take off and disassociate yourself with her. don't be nice to her during this time you just make yourself scarce. otherwise she will start to associate you with her time of the month. a woman whose behavior is negative should not be positively reinforced. This is boneheaded advice. Women are humans, not dogs. In the end, she usually ends up upset over the smallest thing, and then sometime later, things are said. And she'll hate that she did it and that'll make her more upset. Nobody likes acting unpleasantly. Try to not let things get said. Just brush it off. The snarkiness is an annoying feature of PMS. When she's not in the midst of it sometime, maybe find her a site on PMS symptoms. There are things people can try which help. For me, bumping up my intake of some vitamins helps. I also know that being chilled signals the drop in seratonin that this cycle can cause so I eat more carbs to raise my seratonin levels (there's a reason women crave chocolate, after all!). Both things do help to even out moods. But they might not work for your gf. She'd need to try some of the strategies for herself.
johan Posted December 28, 2004 Posted December 28, 2004 Good grief. Three times in a month? No wonder you're looking for help. In general I'd suggest that you don't take it too seriously. I wouldn't leave and punish her like alphamale is suggesting, but you can always give her a little space. You can sort of tell the super-irrational PMS grouchiness that you can steer clear of from the normal irrational stuff you actually have to work with them on. I tease my girlfriend about it. Real gently. I tell her she's being bitchy (which has become a code word) and I can tell she has PMS. She admits it and sort of laughs at herself and glares at me at the same time. She appreciates it when I'm cool about it. I don't abandon her or get upset. Mostly I just keep quiet, treat her with care and don't try anything to make her feel better. That's just asking for it. The more seriously you take it the worse it's going to be. I love when it's over and the sweetness comes back out. If you've been cool about it, she'll come out of it in a real happy mood. I'm sure she knows her body and if she thinks things are ok they probably are.
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