bentleychic Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 I know Bentley, I find it refreshing that you have come on here and been so supportive. Thanks for that I bolded your statement. I never said her child was his, but I have to say... I've wondered about this very same thing... I don't think he is my ex's though. If that were the case then he would have had to know her 6 years ago. That is actually quite possible since he was still living in VA then and I was here raising our son alone and... he also fathered another child during that time period with the exact same name as the name of her child. It would be a bit much if the reality is... he fathered TWO other children(who were then named the same) while I was pregnant with ours. Lord have mercy, thank goodness the meds are kicking in or I'd be having another anxiety attack right now! Oh gosh, so sorry I got confused! Happens a lot these days, unfortunately! LOL Either way, the more details I hear about your ex, the better off I think you will be without him. Good riddance to bad rubbish! 3
bentleychic Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 He called me a few minutes ago and tried to tell me that she isn't living there with him. He wants to take our son out to the movies on Saturday. I told him that was fine, but that she can't go with him. I told him that he can stop his lying now. He laughed at me and said she's writing that stuff just to start trouble but that she wasn't with him all weekend. I didn't even tell him that I saw what she wrote.... he brought it up. Very strange. Very strange behavior indeed. He thinks if he keeps lying about it I won't ever know the truth. Still hasn't given me his new address either. I have no idea where he is living. (Ignore this if you've already made things legal, but I do not recall reading that.) I'm going to show my *itch side here or my mama bear side...whatever you want to call it, but until I had a legal custody agreement IN HAND and ON FILE with the courts, there is NWIH that I would let him take my son alone. Given what you've said about him thus far. With nothing legal, he could take him and not return him and there's absolutely nothing that you could do about it. Supervised visitation at your house, at the park, etc. Fine. But until/unless there is a legal visitation agreement IN HAND and on file with the courts, I would not be playing his little game. ESPECIALLY not knowing where he lived and with him acting sketchy about it. No way, nuh-uh, not on his life. AND until that legal separation agreement IS on file and in hand, there's @&!^ all he can say or do about it, either. If the courts raised an eyebrow on it, THEN I would gladly pull all the evidence of the slandering that the woman he is living with is doing about the mother of his child and have your lawyer let them know that you were wary of having him in that kind of environment, especially not even know where he was residing. 3
Author Raena Posted November 20, 2013 Author Posted November 20, 2013 (Ignore this if you've already made things legal, but I do not recall reading that.) I'm going to show my *itch side here or my mama bear side...whatever you want to call it, but until I had a legal custody agreement IN HAND and ON FILE with the courts, there is NWIH that I would let him take my son alone. Given what you've said about him thus far. With nothing legal, he could take him and not return him and there's absolutely nothing that you could do about it. Supervised visitation at your house, at the park, etc. Fine. But until/unless there is a legal visitation agreement IN HAND and on file with the courts, I would not be playing his little game. ESPECIALLY not knowing where he lived and with him acting sketchy about it. No way, nuh-uh, not on his life. AND until that legal separation agreement IS on file and in hand, there's @&!^ all he can say or do about it, either. If the courts raised an eyebrow on it, THEN I would gladly pull all the evidence of the slandering that the woman he is living with is doing about the mother of his child and have your lawyer let them know that you were wary of having him in that kind of environment, especially not even know where he was residing. I did consider this... but I was told that it wouldn't look favorably on me if I didn't allow him to spend time with his child. It's one thing if he refuses to come see him. It's a whole other thing entirely if I tell him he isn't allowed to except under my conditions and then make it difficult for him to do. Ugh, now you are making me rethink this and wonder if I shouldn't go pay the $265 an hour to hire a lawyer and see what to do.
Author Raena Posted November 20, 2013 Author Posted November 20, 2013 Is there a chance that she really isn't living with exH but is really just THAT crazy and knows you won't belive him? The whole thing just seems... Bizarre. I don't know Coolit... but that is the story my ex is trying to go with. That's what he wants me to believe. I don't believe him.
bentleychic Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 I'm NOT trying to scare you at all, but I would definitely make an appointment with a lawyer a necessity asap. I've just seen too many cases gone wrong. A friend of mine had her soon to be exH keep her kids from her for months and the police said there was absolutely nothing they could do about it because they did not have a legal custody agreement. She also did not know where her STBXH lived and I think that might be why my alarm bells are going off in my head right now. (Fairly sure I would have found a way for my exH to disappear if he tried that, but I wouldn't recommend that.) 1
Author Raena Posted November 20, 2013 Author Posted November 20, 2013 I'm NOT trying to scare you at all, but I would definitely make an appointment with a lawyer a necessity asap. I've just seen too many cases gone wrong. A friend of mine had her soon to be exH keep her kids from her for months and the police said there was absolutely nothing they could do about it because they did not have a legal custody agreement. She also did not know where her STBXH lived and I think that might be why my alarm bells are going off in my head right now. (Fairly sure I would have found a way for my exH to disappear if he tried that, but I wouldn't recommend that.) OK, I'll look into it. I don't really think I can afford a lawyer right now. I hope he takes a payment plan.
bentleychic Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 I totally understand. You may want to check in to legal aid in your area. I know they offer free legal aid in my area, BUT (big kicker here) they wouldn't take my divorce case b/c I had kids. Which seems incredibly stupid. I'm sure that varies by location, though. 1
William Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 Moderation stopping by to remind members to remain focused on the particulars of the thread starter's topic and to refrain from cross-talk and meta-discussions regarding other topics/members/characterizations, as well as to remain civil and respectful in their postings. Topical comments posted disrespectfully garner the same results as off-topic comments, that being deleted and possibly sanctioned. Thanks and continue!
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