Drewx2 Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 Long story short we had been seeing each other for a little over a month and she dumped me before our 4th date. She told me that she was only interested in pursing a friendship. I talked to her off and on for a couple months after the fact. I realized that our “friendship” was pointless and painful for me so I stopped initiating. Then after three months of silence, out of the blue she sent me a message saying that she wanted to talk and make sure that we’re on good terms. I texted her "We're on bad terms?" and she replied "no not at all" What should my next move be? Is there anyway to move on her without looking desperate? I'm really not interested in a friendship. It's the reason I stopped talking in the first place.
truth_seeker Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 I call bs on the good terms question. She wants to know if you're single and available as her other option is gone or the guy she was seeing didn't work out. If you want to move on her, I suggest you mention to her that you've been seeing a girl but not sure if you're going to be exclusive just yet. This will let her know she has a small window of opportunity and that you have options. If you want to move on from her, tell her you're good, hope all is well and that you've been seeing someone else.
scorpiogirl Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 Either just let the texting die out on its own, ie answer a question politely but offer no other info and don't ask questions back so she needs to reply. Or tell her you don't feel you can be friends. While you harbour no I'll feelings towards her, at this point you'd like to focus on new friendships and wish her well.
Author Drewx2 Posted November 18, 2013 Author Posted November 18, 2013 I call bs on the good terms question. She wants to know if you're single and available as her other option is gone or the guy she was seeing didn't work out. Should I call her out on it? Something like "why do you want to be on good terms if we're already there"
Lansing Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 She misses the attention from you. She misses you trying to contact her/ask her out/etc. Your best bet is to just not initiate contact and probably not even respond to her messages unless they are true "Friendship" type messages if you can truly handle a friendship with her. A friend should mutually ask you out to do things/etc. It shouldn't just be one sided. I have run into this in the past. I have at times felt like I was doing all of the work so I left it for the girl to balance things out and she never did.. 1
Author Drewx2 Posted November 18, 2013 Author Posted November 18, 2013 (edited) She misses the attention from you. She misses you trying to contact her/ask her out/etc. Your best bet is to just not initiate contact and probably not even respond to her messages unless they are true "Friendship" type messages if you can truly handle a friendship with her. A friend should mutually ask you out to do things/etc. It shouldn't just be one sided. I have run into this in the past. I have at times felt like I was doing all of the work so I left it for the girl to balance things out and she never did.. she did say that she wanted to see me if I was ever in town but It was really friendly. I'm not looking to "catch up" as she wrote. I guess it's hard to say what 'catch up' means..but I expect the worst. It's not surprising that you usually don't hear back from them.. I really didn't expect to hear from this girl ever again but she's back...kindof. Edited November 18, 2013 by Drewx2
phineas Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 Ask her what she wants with you. She'll either disappear again or tell you she wants to date. At that point, if they say they want to date I invite them over for a movie & tell them to wear something sexy. Because after 3 dates we are not strangers & the clock don't reset. We are picking up where we left off because she is not getting any more attention out of me until I start seeing something from her in return. At that point I know exactly whether they are serious or not about getting with me.
lino Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 Wouldn't bother with this girl if I was you. she's using you for attention when she can't get it from elsewhere.
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