istabaci Posted November 17, 2013 Posted November 17, 2013 (edited) I am looking for some advice from you guys. My ex broke up with me 3 months ago. It was calm break up, after she said she wanted to end it, i asked her for second chance ( she did the same once and i gave her a second chance) but she said that she actually decided so we broke up ( the reason was probably that i pushed her away with my behaviour, and she wasnt feeling same as before). I was fine after that, kind of sad, but not that much, because she was that type of girl with guy friends and i am quite jelous man and this together didnt work well. I know it was my fault, that we had it hard sometimes, but back then i couldnt help myself. Back then i was little bitch, clingy, needy and really not attractive. But my question now is, after break up, we kept in touch, talked on facebook etc. and we were still hanging out. Then something happend, we did make out few times for few day ( no drunk ) and after that i kind of wanted her back, but she said she decided back then. I then started NC, like two weeks in it, she texted me. And after two weeks i invited her to hang out, that we havent seen each other for a long time etc. After that she often call me out, sometimes i try to say no, just to show her, that she is not my priority No.1. So here am i, wanting her back, and probably falling into friend zone ? Sometimes she behave more like a friend and sometimes like a friend, its so depressing. So my question is, should i cut off contact ? Am i just a stupid friend? Should i answers her texts ( we text pretty often ) ? Sorry for bad english Edited November 17, 2013 by istabaci
maturityassets Posted November 17, 2013 Posted November 17, 2013 Its hard to move on if you still contact them. Not to be harsh on you but you are not staying friends with her for the sake of friendship. You are staying friends with her because you want her back. The fact is you can't force someone to be in a relationship with you and you shouldn't try to manipulate them back, and im not saying you are. But I think you are trying to show her you changed for the better but often time people only notice changes after a certain time apart. And look no contact is usually win-win its usually you either move on and you don't care or they do come back.
LDRdumped Posted November 17, 2013 Posted November 17, 2013 please go NC.....you are setting yourself up for more pain with what you're doing. you're just giving yourself false hope of you guys getting back together. you have to move on. the more you keep in touch with her the more difficult it will be to move on. i dont know exactly what she thinks but i think you are temporarily her emotional crutch until she moves on to or finds another guy. Go NC.....hardcore NC.
Confusedguy81 Posted November 17, 2013 Posted November 17, 2013 You know what I can't stand? When a piece of candy falls under my car seat and i reach and reach to try to get it and I get more and more frustrated as I come at it from different angles. I eventually give up and will get the piece of candy later to throw it out. At that point, I no longer want the piece of candy. Now...morale of the story...toss your ex out of your life. Friendships rarely work unless it was mutual. If she wants a relationship she will come to you. Stop being there for her. Stop contacting her. Just stop.
Author istabaci Posted November 17, 2013 Author Posted November 17, 2013 Yeah you are probably right, but i never actually went and ask her what she thinks about us trying it again, so next time she ask me out, i will ask her if she wants to try it again, what you think, good idea, one last try ? (but its logical that when she isnt trying to get me, she wont accept) .. if she says yes, then hooray if no i will go hardcore NC as you suggested although it will be hard, because she is also a great friend of mine.
Confusedguy81 Posted November 17, 2013 Posted November 17, 2013 Yeah you are probably right, but i never actually went and ask her what she thinks about us trying it again, so next time she ask me out, i will ask her if she wants to try it again, what you think, good idea, one last try ? (but its logical that when she isnt trying to get me, she wont accept) .. if she says yes, then hooray if no i will go hardcore NC as you suggested although it will be hard, because she is also a great friend of mine. asking again will only make it worse. It's your heart that will break.
chris21422 Posted November 17, 2013 Posted November 17, 2013 I planned to do this before when me and my gf broke up.. Man after reading so many stories don't do it.. Every story I read all of them just got f*ck up in the end or even more heartbroken. Don't do it.. You will never get her back being a friend. It never work or it rarely works!!
Author istabaci Posted November 17, 2013 Author Posted November 17, 2013 asking again will only make it worse. It's your heart that will break. It is actually broken, it cant get any worse.
Author istabaci Posted November 17, 2013 Author Posted November 17, 2013 I planned to do this before when me and my gf broke up.. Man after reading so many stories don't do it.. Every story I read all of them just got f*ck up in the end or even more heartbroken. Don't do it.. You will never get her back being a friend. It never work or it rarely works!! Yeah i do know now, so thats why i want ask her first and last time.
Ansem Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 She already told you no; what's the point in asking again? You'll only sound as clingy as you described yourself and I thought that was in the past.
maturityassets Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 9/10 times I say this doesn't work out. I can't stop you from doing what you want but you want to know if can get worse? Yeah you become your own worst enemy and regret it so much because you feel like you lost your dignity
Brokenguy22 Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 I am in the same boat as you. I am staying friends because she doesn't have anyone else she hangs out with. It was only me was almost 5 years. and I did do NC with her for 10 days and kept having anxiety attacks while sleeping (waking up gasping for air) that something happened to her ( I still care for her and love her). So I broke NC and she told me she was so lonely and her days were going so slow. Those 10 days she thought it had been a month since we stopped talking. Said "I still can't believe I am talking to you". Asked me "are you healthy?" which made me laugh lol cause I was doing fine going to gym and really healing but those anxiety attacks kept waking me up few times a night. My best advice is if you can do NC. I am not right now because as much as it hurts me to talk to her, I do not want to make her feel lonely and alone. I have friends who I go out with and stuff, she didn't besides me so It hurts me knowing she is alone (I am too nice I guess). It hurts tho.. your call now man. 1
Mariposa10 Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 I am in the same boat as you. I am staying friends because she doesn't have anyone else she hangs out with. It was only me was almost 5 years. and I did do NC with her for 10 days and kept having anxiety attacks while sleeping (waking up gasping for air) that something happened to her ( I still care for her and love her). So I broke NC and she told me she was so lonely and her days were going so slow. Those 10 days she thought it had been a month since we stopped talking. Said "I still can't believe I am talking to you". Asked me "are you healthy?" which made me laugh lol cause I was doing fine going to gym and really healing but those anxiety attacks kept waking me up few times a night. My best advice is if you can do NC. I am not right now because as much as it hurts me to talk to her, I do not want to make her feel lonely and alone. I have friends who I go out with and stuff, she didn't besides me so It hurts me knowing she is alone (I am too nice I guess). It hurts tho.. your call now man. I'm not even gonna say that you should stop contacting her, because I understand you a little bit. However, she might get confused and want to get back together, please do not fall for this. She might want to get back together if she still feels alone. Be careful. 1
Brokenguy22 Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 I'm not even gonna say that you should stop contacting her, because I understand you a little bit. However, she might get confused and want to get back together, please do not fall for this. She might want to get back together if she still feels alone. Be careful. She won't want to because she would have by now if she felt alone. She is ready to get married and I am not (almost 2 years younger). Plus different race her parents would never accept. Everything is against me. I would love to get her back but my luck has always been ****ty . I just want her to be happy cause those years were so nice, we were best friends and well as lovers. ugh just wish she had a little faith and patience.
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