i did shrooms and had an epiphany..

[haggard969]

ok here me out, last night i hung out with some old budys, we decided to do some shrooms(yes i know it was a bad idea and trust me after last night i am NEVER doing them again, we were just too high.), but at the same time, i had some wierd spiritual connection with something i dono if it was god or what. and it made me realize what went wrong in my life.

 

I kept thinking last night about what went wrong in my relationship, and i realized that my "perfect relationship" wasnt perfect, i was so happy, but i was blind. i didnt realize what i was actually doing. i loved my girlfriend alot. but that was the problem. i loved her TOO much. I always wanted to be with her. i stopped taking care of my hygiene, i stopped being that hot attractive confident guy. i ALWAYS wanted to be with her. i did everything for her. but i stopped doing things for myself. i wouldnt go to the doctor when i was sick. i stopped going to the dentist. i stopped hanging with my guy friends. n doing things i liked. when she wasnt their i would nag her. this was the problem, i became needy, i guess i didnt realize that she would have been in my life whether i went out with my friends or not. i feel horrible now.

 

i messaged her telling her what i realized and where i went wrong. i told her that i am going to straighten out my life and get my crap together, i am going to be the person i was, not this person i turned into. I am quiting drugs for good! i am no longer going to bars to get hammerd. if i have to go to rehab i am going to! i am going to start going to the gym again. and i am going to become attractive again.

 

being attractive is the key, and i know it will make my life good again if i get my crap together, i hope all of you can support me.

 

i know what my ex did and said was rank. but now i get it. she even told me herself. she said, how else do you get rid of someone. some times you have to be mean,blunt, or do somthing drastic to scare the other person away.

 

i just wish i would have listened to most of the stuff i read online earlier

-no contact

-WORK on yourself

-become attractive

 

but i left my emotions kind of take over, wish me luck, i know ive been on here getting ego boosts n stuff, but once you realize that it was you who made the mistake. everything turns around. thats where i am right now.

 

please dont criticize me. im just seeking support and now i just feel so guilty for what i did wrong. it was my fault all along.

 

i just want to fix things, whether i am with her or not, this guilt of now knowing what i did feels even worse then her breaking up with me in the first place.

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

ok here me out, last night i hung out with some old budys, we decided to do some shrooms(yes i know it was a bad idea and trust me after last night i am NEVER doing them again, we were just too high.), but at the same time, i had some wierd spiritual connection with something i dono if it was god or what. and it made me realize what went wrong in my life.

 

I kept thinking last night about what went wrong in my relationship, and i realized that my "perfect relationship" wasnt perfect, i was so happy, but i was blind. i didnt realize what i was actually doing. i loved my girlfriend alot. but that was the problem. i loved her TOO much. I always wanted to be with her. i stopped taking care of my hygiene, i stopped being that hot attractive confident guy. i ALWAYS wanted to be with her. i did everything for her. but i stopped doing things for myself. i wouldnt go to the doctor when i was sick. i stopped going to the dentist. i stopped hanging with my guy friends. n doing things i liked. when she wasnt their i would nag her. this was the problem, i became needy, i guess i didnt realize that she would have been in my life whether i went out with my friends or not. i feel horrible now.

 

i messaged her telling her what i realized and where i went wrong. i told her that i am going to straighten out my life and get my crap together, i am going to be the person i was, not this person i turned into. I am quiting drugs for good! i am no longer going to bars to get hammerd. if i have to go to rehab i am going to! i am going to start going to the gym again. and i am going to become attractive again.

 

being attractive is the key, and i know it will make my life good again if i get my crap together, i hope all of you can support me.

 

i know what my ex did and said was rank. but now i get it. she even told me herself. she said, how else do you get rid of someone. some times you have to be mean,blunt, or do somthing drastic to scare the other person away.

 

i just wish i would have listened to most of the stuff i read online earlier

-no contact

-WORK on yourself

-become attractive

 

but i left my emotions kind of take over, wish me luck, i know ive been on here getting ego boosts n stuff, but once you realize that it was you who made the mistake. everything turns around. thats where i am right now.

 

please dont criticize me. im just seeking support and now i just feel so guilty for what i did wrong. it was my fault all along.

 

i just want to fix things, whether i am with her or not, this guilt of now knowing what i did feels even worse then her breaking up with me in the first place.

 

You know what? You say don't criticize you and you want relationship help. That's all fine and dandy, but taking drugs, driving while drunk....your decision making and thoght process is way out of wack, so yes they relate.

 

Get help NOW. Deal with this

[haggard969]

i am getting help, i told my mom how i hit rock bottom. and i told her what i did. i swear i am going to fix my life and stop being a no body, god im sorry im sorry, when you realize how bad a screw up you are then you realize how bad everything you screwed up, i screwed up, ITS MY FAULT! im admiting it, everything ive done, drugs, drinking n driving, getting dumped, its all my fault, i was clueless,

[todreaminblue]

cruel to be kind hey....ummmmm no some people can actually go around not being cruel to be kind.....i would not listen to any epiphany that you had while on shrooms........

 

what i do know i s....jesus was never cruel he had people grabbing hold of him needy lonely ****ed up people with major issues, lepers, unattractive fat over weight people who would drag themselves after him begging him to help them..to take pity on them in their affirmities...he was never cruel to be kind.....and to me...he was the greatest man alive and the greatest man to ever be......

 

 

if you are going to emulate anyone...or believe the words that someone says read the bible not your exes manual fir being a stuffed up ignorant human being........emulate words of a good book not what some narcissistic ex said to make herself feel better about losing her attraction for you

 

 

Then he said to them, “Suppose one of you has a friend, and he goes to him at midnight and says, ‘Friend, lend me three loaves of bread, because a friend of mine on a journey has come to me, and I have nothing to set before him.’

“Then the one inside answers, ‘Don’t bother me. The door is already locked, and my children are with me in bed. I can’t get up and give you anything.’ I tell you, though he will not get up and give him the bread because he is his friend, yet because of the man’s boldness he will get up and give him as much as he needs.

“So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.”

 

i dont believe that jesus would ever have bothered to stop and study himself in a mirror or scare people away from him, be blunt, be cruel.......yeah ...its a big no....no person on earth can judge another as lacking......thank god above for that or i wouldnt have any friends at all......... but then thats the bane of humanity isnt it...believing cruelty works over kindness and support.......the opposite of christianity or basic human goodness if you arent religious..being firm and kind is different.......blunt cruel people.....waste of time effort and space in your life....met one recently.......he truly sucks because i think he might believe in this scaring away theory....yes he did that alright also made me feel like utter crap which doesnt help me get better only worse.......and for that......he is no friend of mine.....friends dont do that...i could never trust him.......never.....so his efforts worked....i guess ...but i dont feel guilt over him i just think he was rotten......for no good reason.......he truly didnt know me in the first place......you dont help people by booting them up the ass and snarling in their face with coldness and disrespect.....you can find someone unattractive you still treat them with kindness.....that should be a societal rule...lot less hurt and stuffed up people if it were true....

 

 

i am glad you are saying with or without your ex and i truly hope you do get better so you can see that her nastiness towards you wasnt warranted or needed and that you go into any relationship in the future with love and peace in your heart........she can walk it...cruelty bluntness scaring people off...wish her luck with that .....not so attractive in my opinion........maybe it is she who needs more work than you..get rid of the dark spots at her core...i wish you well, no shrooms and peace out....from deb

Edited November 17, 2013 by todreaminblue

[haggard969]

thank you, i am at the turning point, and i will take your information seriously. i am looking to change and become this awsome person again. i dont know where my life went wrong, when i started doing drugs n drinking. and being greasy, but its now or never, i am going to become the best person i can.

[todreaminblue]

thank you, i am at the turning point, and i will take your information seriously. i am looking to change and become this awsome person again. i dont know where my life went wrong, when i started doing drugs n drinking. and being greasy, but its now or never, i am going to become the best person i can.

 

 

i hope everything does work out for you .....and you know what????...heres a hug for you on your journey...... happy trails..no guilt from you.......takes two you know to voice how you feel in a relationship before it gets to the point of hurting another...she failed......just as much as you did..good luck..deb

[Keenly]

The guy doesn't need " help " because he took shrooms. Its called being going and experimenting.

 

 

I took them around the February mark this year. Learned a lot about myself and how I shouldn't care about other people's opinions of me. I was left a lot emotionally healthier after the experience.

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

The guy doesn't need " help " because he took shrooms. Its called being going and experimenting.

 

 

I took them around the February mark this year. Learned a lot about myself and how I shouldn't care about other people's opinions of me. I was left a lot emotionally healthier after the experience.

 

Never said any of that. This isn't a pro drug talk so let that go.

[Keenly]

Never said any of that. This isn't a pro drug talk so let that go.

 

Yes. You did.

 

And this actually is pro drug talk. What thread are YOU reading? Occasional use of certain substances can help you look at life from a different perspective and get your emotional side back on the right track.

[Ruby Slippers]

Not to support drug use if that's something you're trying to beat, but I tried mushrooms once and also had a great time and a somewhat spiritual experience. Basically, the feeling I had and was left with for months was: Everything is OK, and everything is going to be OK. Just this feeling of calm peace and acceptance. I've read this kind of thing is very common, and mushrooms have been proven to help some people with mental problems like schizophrenia improve their mental state.

 

The epiphany you had is a good one, and one that most of us take years to learn. And even once you learn it, it can still be hard to practice it every day.

 

This is something I saw modeled very well in my ex, something I really admired about him. He was overall a pretty generous guy, but he always took care of himself and made sure he was strong first, before giving his attention to anyone else. He got all his work done and made sure matters were taken care of before he turned his attention elsewhere. I respected his commitment and focus on his goals. This was one of his most attractive qualities.

 

I've made the mistake of letting myself get distracted from my own important goals by relationships before. But the more I mature, the more I learn how important it is to be strong and self-directed before you can be a strong, reliable partner to anyone.

 

You're on the right path!

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

Yes. You did.

 

And this actually is pro drug talk. What thread are YOU reading? Occasional use of certain substances can help you look at life from a different perspective and get your emotional side back on the right track.

 

No....I didn't. Not JUST his drug use. This is about the person and his past relationship. There are PLENTY of drug forms online about how you think illegal drugs are awesome.

 

Look dude, I've read every post this gentleman has written and its VERY clear he needs help. He has slipped into some pretty bad spots and he knows it. You can agree with the drug thing or not, but its clear he is slipping into vices that will only make it worse. The worse was the drunk driving he did like a month ago. That hurts EVERYONE and killed my.closest friend. I dont take that lightly. I feel for him I really do that's why we've been trying to help him....but he can only do that if he helps himself. Thats why he needs to get some help outside this site.

[reddragon588]

I don't have any problems with drugs, but OP has been using them to deal with the pain of the breakup. No matter your view on drugs, that is not a healthy use of them. OP, I would suggest staying sober for a bit to deal with what you have going on in your life.

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

i don't have any problems with drugs, but op has been using them to deal with the pain of the breakup. no matter your view on drugs, that is not a healthy use of them. op, i would suggest staying sober for a bit to deal with what you have going on in your life.

 

b-i-n-g-o!

[barky2]

Those damn shrooms.

 

 

 

Barky

[Omei]

what im confused by is why are you still contacting her?

[haggard969]

what im confused by is why are you still contacting her?

 

i guess i feel bad, im having super mixed emotions right now. its like, this is how i feel

-im a wreck because i got dumped,

-im doing good because ive been working out and trying to look good

-im upset because she keeps contacting me with her problems

-im stupid because for some reason i care? and help her anyways even though i shouldnt

-i dont want her back because of the things she said and did

- i do want her back because of her my daughter , family n friends

-i hate how shes still with that deushe back but she turns to me

- i hate how she ignores me when i miss her

-i have good memories that haunt me

-i have bad memories that haunt me

-i did turn to drugs and drinking to take away the pain

-my ex left everything in such a mess and im picking up the pieces

 

i see theres more cons then pros in my emotions, my last option is to just disappear, from everyone

 

im thinking of smashing my phone, and every source of contact, no one will see me or hear from me for a long time. this is crazy

 

why do i care so much?

[Keenly]

You didn't connect with God, you just killed a bunch of brain cells.

 

Sounds like your gf dodged a bullet. Good for her.

 

What an insightfully helpful post you wrote here.

[Keenly]

I can't always be on my game. Drug users make me crabby.

 

People who put their location as " backstage at a metallica concert " and then openly judge some one who experimented with a substance once or twice make me crabby.

[barky2]

It's just food poisoning

 

 

 

Barky

[haggard969]

You didn't connect with God, you just killed a bunch of brain cells.

 

Sounds like your gf dodged a bullet. Good for her.

 

my girlfriend is a coke head/ drunk, maybe i dodged a bullet?

[reddragon588]

my girlfriend is a coke head/ drunk, maybe i dodged a bullet?

 

Your ex-girlfriend. It's important to use the correct language to help frame your attitude.

[haggard969]

oops ,my bad

[AShogunNamedMarcus]

You didn't connect with God, you just killed a bunch of brain cells.

 

Sounds like your gf dodged a bullet. Good for her.

 

 

It's a good thing that "killing brain cells" thing is a myth for most natural substances.

 

It's a bad thing that so many people believe it's true.

 

Also, it's bad that people think it's bad to self-medicate. Why let the psychiatrists have all the fun trying out drugs on all of us?

 

Drugs are used to deal with pain. That's why they exist.

[underscore44]

How could someone not read this story with the title you have haha

 

Anyway wake up every morning knowing you are going to crush the day. Get out of bed and show everyone up at work, if you don't work and are in school then crush the school day. Hit the gym and start looking better. You don't want to be the person that dips into a black hole and never comes out cause let me tell you no one likes the pity card. Not your family, not your friends, not any potentially new people you would meet and definitely NOT YOUR EX.

 

WAKE UP AND CRUSH IT

 

Success is the best revenge. The only person you need to make you happy is you and let me tell you once you realize that watch what starts to happen

 

You will be unstoppable

[haggard969]

i copied what you said into my phone^^ im going to read it over n over n over again, i want to be unstoppable