athiria Posted November 17, 2013 Posted November 17, 2013 So he dumped me 3 months ago and wanted to be friends. I really tried but it was hard since I had feelings(we go to the same school) and I was open about it with him. He said it was over and we would never get together again. Anyway, he started to ignore me, so I confronted him and asked what he wanted. He said I was following him too much (which I wasnt really :S) and that he needed time to think and that we could be friends but HE would initiate contact with ME. And in the next sentence he said "And you haven't even called me ONCE to see if I'm OK!!" OK, so he wants me to **** off but he wont tell me I thought and left him completely to himself. 2-3 weeks passed by and now he has said hi to me, closed the door for me, joked with me once and sometimes I think he's looking at me when I'm laughing with friends. And I haven't initiated any contact myself. Is he playing games with me ("I wont let her get away if I need her later for my ego"), is he trying to be friendly, does he want to become friends or does he have second thoughts? :S I'm slowly getting over him but of course I miss all the good stuff we shared :S Help me
d0nnivain Posted November 17, 2013 Posted November 17, 2013 people say they want to be friends after a break up, but they don't really mean it. The dumpers are tying to be nice because they don't want the person they used to care about to be in pain. Friends hang out, do things, talk & enjoy each other's company. The post-break up offer doesn't include any of those things. It's just a way for the dumpee to ease his/her conscious. The dumpees say "let's be friends" in the hopes of winning the person back romantically. All it really does is prolong the pain by not allowing time & space for healing. When you tried to be friends it was painful for you & he felt smothered because you weren't really gone from his life. At this point his interest may be an ago stroke but no matter his reasons his mere presence in your life is not good for you. Let him go. 2
Author athiria Posted November 17, 2013 Author Posted November 17, 2013 Actually I told him I didnt want to be friends in the beginning at school and he got really hurt and angry :S Then I told him it was since I still had feelings and he said "contact me when you're over me, even if it takes a couple of years".
Zahara Posted November 17, 2013 Posted November 17, 2013 "contact me when you're over me, even if it takes a couple of years". The ego on this clown. 2
Author athiria Posted November 17, 2013 Author Posted November 17, 2013 You're right... if he ever wants to get together again he will tell me. So I will ignore all this stuff and focus on myself I will keep not initiating any contact. 1
Brown-Eyez Posted November 17, 2013 Posted November 17, 2013 You're right... if he ever wants to get together again he will tell me. So I will ignore all this stuff and focus on myself I will keep not initiating any contact. BUT remember do not respond to his contact either
Author athiria Posted November 17, 2013 Author Posted November 17, 2013 I actually haven't When he's been saying hi I've been looking away. You're talking about that right?
Author athiria Posted November 17, 2013 Author Posted November 17, 2013 Hey guys... to which extend should I actually AVOID him? If i wanna sit in the library and he's there - should i walk away?
MoooOinkBaaa Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 contact me when you're over me, even if it takes a couple of years LMAO ego level 99
Canadiangirl78 Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 Sorry, not trying to hijack your post or anything, but what about when the split is mutual? Me and ex fiancé (4 yrs together + 2 yr old son) split mutually. He asked to be friends I said no. But when we see each other it's like we've never been apart..laughing, joking with each other, yes we have also been intimate a few times and see each other on average 2-3 times per week..I have no idea what we are doing, we know it's done, I've moved out of our home but we still stay close. Sorry to rant on about my situation; my question is is there any circumstances that friendship can work?
Author athiria Posted November 28, 2013 Author Posted November 28, 2013 Allright... now he's dating a girl in my dorm, so I will probably move. Also today he was saying hi happily to a friend of mine but not to me (he doesnt really know my friend so I think he did it on purpose to show me he ignores me). Uh, why can't he just stay out of the way and leave me alone?
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