Philosoraptor Posted December 4, 2013 Posted December 4, 2013 well i did get money to charity yesterday, thought i should pay it forward, and my luck would change. "I've found that what most people call luck is raw talent combined with the ability to make the most of opportunities." - Talon Karrde There is no luck. You make your own destiny. If it makes you feel good to help others, than continue to do so. But holidays needn't be spent pining over the ex, but enjoying what you do have in your life. Family, friends, etc. 1
LostConfused123 Posted December 4, 2013 Posted December 4, 2013 yeah it's not easy going out, seeing holiday stuff, and couples so in love. it is torture. i feel like i'm waiting for my ex to finally contact me, especially on christmas. I am terrified of Christmas day!!! LOL! Sounds so dramatic when I word it like that. I mean, I know I won't hear from him (blocked him in every way) but still. . . idk, maybe part of me hopes he will find a way. . ugh!!!! I must squash that last bit of hope!!! I know if I do, I'll be that much stronger when that day arrives!
Author Jay C Posted December 4, 2013 Author Posted December 4, 2013 You gotta try to start being comfortable with just being alone. I know thats easier said then done, but as soon as your able to start relaxing into just yourself you wont feel so low. Dont hurt yourself by looking over old photos. And remember, Christmas is only 24 hours, then we're all back to normal boring civilization. Your not missing out on much! And for gods sake dont wait for that call! know what i just did, i burned all the photos. that's the only way to stop myself. i know xmas is only 24 hours, but lets be real, it's all month long of ppl being happy and rubbing it in our faces. we also have new years, and valentines coming up too....the most romantic season is winter, also the coldest.
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted December 4, 2013 Posted December 4, 2013 know what i just did, i burned all the photos. that's the only way to stop myself. i know xmas is only 24 hours, but lets be real, it's all month long of ppl being happy and rubbing it in our faces. we also have new years, and valentines coming up too....the most romantic season is winter, also the coldest. What is stopping you from being happy too? 1
totellornot Posted December 4, 2013 Posted December 4, 2013 i've heard this many times. but does it ever happen? my ex told me this herself, and maybe she may return. i brought it up with her, and she told me i haven't let go at all, which is true. hence why we're not back together. it's kinda ironic in a way. but if that's what it takes to get her back, might as well do it. so this is what i've learned on this subject: -disappear completely. -initiate no contact. -during that time of NC, they will start to wonder why you're not bothering them, and then start to miss you. -they will realize how much they love you, and they made a mistake. -you show you're no longer desperate or clingy. with this being said, do you agree with this subject? It worked for my ex. I don't agree with NC totally though. I think you should work on yourself and being happy and a better person. Your ex will see this and might want to come back but even if she doesn't at least you've become a better person! My ex did this when we broke up. I did see the changes he made and I did eventually go crawling back..!
Author Jay C Posted December 4, 2013 Author Posted December 4, 2013 What is stopping you from being happy too? me being with the one i still love. don't get me wrong, i could go out and date new girls. but that's only to ease the pain. the heart wants what the heart wants.
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted December 4, 2013 Posted December 4, 2013 But this is the crux if your whole problem, and the thing that will spell eventual failure if there is a reconciliation. You shouldn't need another person to make you happy. All that will happen if you do reconcile, is that the old neediness that plagued the last relationship will rear its head again. Exactly! That's what I was hinting at on my post. Leaning on others for your happiness is a sign of codependency and thats not good. Be happy with yourself first and foremost. 1
Never Again Posted December 4, 2013 Posted December 4, 2013 But this is the crux if your whole problem, and the thing that will spell eventual failure if there is a reconciliation. You shouldn't need another person to make you happy. All that will happen if you do reconcile, is that the old neediness that plagued the last relationship will rear its head again. YUUUUUP. OP, the problem is...you don't WANT her. Everything you've said here makes it readily apparent that you feel that you NEED her. You NEED her to be happy. Needing someone else like this is very unhealthy, and would kill any potential for a future relationship with her or anyone else. Letting someone go never, ever ever guarantees that you'll get them back...but it is the only way it could ever happy successfully. But to do that, you need to truly let go. Forgive, forget, move on. Stop hoping, stop needing, stop wanting. Live for yourself and no one else. Then you'll get somewhere. Maybe not with your ex...but somewhere. 1
Author Jay C Posted December 5, 2013 Author Posted December 5, 2013 YUUUUUP. OP, the problem is...you don't WANT her. Everything you've said here makes it readily apparent that you feel that you NEED her. You NEED her to be happy. Needing someone else like this is very unhealthy, and would kill any potential for a future relationship with her or anyone else. Letting someone go never, ever ever guarantees that you'll get them back...but it is the only way it could ever happy successfully. But to do that, you need to truly let go. Forgive, forget, move on. Stop hoping, stop needing, stop wanting. Live for yourself and no one else. Then you'll get somewhere. Maybe not with your ex...but somewhere. i'm not dependent on her for happiness, i just have the yearning to be with her. i'm fine with being alone, i was single for many years before my ex. everybody needs a partner in life, thats how we reproduce as humans. lol. can you blame me for feeling unhappy? got dumped and its the holiday season.
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