spc20 Posted November 17, 2013 Posted November 17, 2013 I met this guy online and we went our our first date a week ago. I was skeptical about it because I have never done online dating before but I figured why not? It went really well and we talked for about three hours straight. On the third date I spent the night at his house and we made out but didn't have sex. All of our dates so far have gone really well. This is my first time actually dating someone because with all of my other relationships we met through mutual friends or started out as friends before. When we were making out I told him "I really, really like you" and he responded saying "I like you too". I was afraid that I came off too strong with that but I really like this guy! We have a lot in common and I feel a stronger connection to him than any of my past relationships. I am worried though because I don't want to screw it up from here. I have been clingy in the past and don't want that to happen. I can definitely see myself being exclusive with him but I don't know how long you're supposed to wait until you have that talk. I feel like I should just take things naturally but I get so nervous around him because I like him so much. Any advice on what I should do from here??
CarrieT Posted November 17, 2013 Posted November 17, 2013 Any advice on what I should do from here?? Wait for an invitation for a fourth date and continue to move forward slowly.
carhill Posted November 17, 2013 Posted November 17, 2013 I met this guy online and we went our our first date a week ago. I was skeptical about it because I have never done online dating before but I figured why not? It went really well and we talked for about three hours straight. On the third date I spent the night at his house and we made out but didn't have sex. All of our dates so far have gone really well. This is my first time actually dating someone because with all of my other relationships we met through mutual friends or started out as friends before. When we were making out I told him "I really, really like you" and he responded saying "I like you too". I was afraid that I came off too strong with that but I really like this guy! We have a lot in common and I feel a stronger connection to him than any of my past relationships. I am worried though because I don't want to screw it up from here. I have been clingy in the past and don't want that to happen. I can definitely see myself being exclusive with him but I don't know how long you're supposed to wait until you have that talk. I feel like I should just take things naturally but I get so nervous around him because I like him so much. Any advice on what I should do from here?? Your ages? I assume older since he has his own home. However, dating styles vary by generation, hence my question. Your focus on 'not screwing it up' is worth examining in more detail. Dating should be a relaxing and pleasant social interaction which builds intimacy over time and 'getting to know'. Outcome dependency can poison an otherwise promising dynamic. If sex is in your near future, historically, I'd suggest having a BC and STD conversation, not when 'making out', soon. If you can have sex, you can talk about sex. Otherwise, as CarrieT suggests, entertain the next date invitation when it arrives or make one of your own. Focus on 'getting to know'. The pleasures of affection and sex are nice icing on the cake of developing intimacy, friendship and love. They're not a replacement for the latter, if your interest is in a long-term relationship/partnership. Good luck and welcome to LS.
d0nnivain Posted November 17, 2013 Posted November 17, 2013 Stop talking about your feelings. You put it out there already . . . rather quickly . . . and you can't take it back but you don't have to repeat it. The next declaration of feelings has to come from him or you risk being perceived as clingy. Just relax. Go with the flow. I would clarify whether you are exclusive before you have sex. If you don't have the conversation 1st you need to assume & be prepared to deal with the fact that he may be seeing other women too.
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