Long distance relationship ended; Should I reach out to her?

[zakon]

We were in a long distance relationship for a little more than 2 years. According to her I was unemotional and cold, throughout and once I was rude. That time my mother was terminally ill but I still went ahead to meet her as her tickets were non-refundable but in that trip I was always thinking about my mother.

 

After that things were fine in between us. But then, 6 months after that argument she suddenly started to avoid me and then told me that she didn't feel for me like before but would like to remain friends as she still liked me. I accepted her friendship, persuaded her to talk to me once. Had sent my visa for processing and going there to give her a surprise visit but she came to know about it and said that it'd be a wastage of money and time. In another conversation after that she mentioned her priorities are her kids then and ended the conversation saying 'we're eating and the conversation is over!'.

 

After that she wished me on a holiday. I interacted very normally without showing much of emotions. That was 2 weeks back. Since then we haven't contacted each other.

I still have feelings for her. I am thinking if I should give a surprise visit to her in the future, just not to regret things in the future and obviously physical presence means a lot more than online communications.

[nomadic_butterfly]

We were in a long distance relationship for a little more than 2 years. According to her I was unemotional and cold, throughout and once I was rude. That time my mother was terminally ill but I still went ahead to meet her as her tickets were non-refundable but in that trip I was always thinking about my mother.

 

After that things were fine in between us. But then, 6 months after that argument she suddenly started to avoid me and then told me that she didn't feel for me like before but would like to remain friends as she still liked me. I accepted her friendship, persuaded her to talk to me once. Had sent my visa for processing and going there to give her a surprise visit but she came to know about it and said that it'd be a wastage of money and time. In another conversation after that she mentioned her priorities are her kids then and ended the conversation saying 'we're eating and the conversation is over!'.

 

After that she wished me on a holiday. I interacted very normally without showing much of emotions. That was 2 weeks back. Since then we haven't contacted each other.

I still have feelings for her. I am thinking if I should give a surprise visit to her in the future, just not to regret things in the future and obviously physical presence means a lot more than online communications.

 

You absolutely should NOT. For all you know she is seeing someone else and neither one of you would be thrilled with the surprise. Surprise visits are only for healthy, functioning relationships where someone hasn't told the other "don't waste your time and money." In other cases when matters need to be discussed in person but there is a willingness on both ends! This means her mind is made up and/or she is seeing someone new and you should absolutely believe her and respect her wishes. I would be really upset and annoyed if someone I broke up with and explicitly told to not visit me went ahead and did it anyway. It makes you look desperate, disrespectful and depends on how you are (or are not) hounding her stalkerish.

 

She was being nice to you because she is not a mean spirited or bitter person. I am nice to all my exes and former dates because I don't keep malices. Even if they cheated or did me wrong I still wish them the absolute best and call them from time to time to see how their life is going and even hang out if I am in their neighborhood or vice versa. I am in no way shape or form INTERESTED in ANY OF THEM. Some have perceived my niceness/forgiveness as an open invitation and I shoot all of them down immediately.

[bill101]

Interestingly enough, the more you pursue a woman, the less likely she is to be with you. Conversely, the more you ignore her, the more attractive you become. AHhhhh women !

 

Therefore, I also recommend you adopt the cold turkey approach.

 

I second Exxtasis0ntheW1ng and nomadic_butterfly 100% !

[soccerrprp]

Interestingly enough, the more you pursue a woman, the less likely she is to be with you. Conversely, the more you ignore her, the more attractive you become. AHhhhh women !

 

Of course this is a generalization. Women are different and it depends on the circumstances.

 

But, for you, OP, leave her be. It's over and you should move on.