xxsilverdragonxx Posted December 25, 2004 Posted December 25, 2004 Thursday night my ex was riding with her new boyfriend in her car, he was driving. They had an accident and it required a helicopter to land on the road so they could be airlifted to the hospital. Sorry I can't go into more details, Her mom called me on the phone and told me just about an hour ago. Right now I'm in complete shock, they are lucky to be alive. I'm going through a whole range of emotions. I don't know what I should do. Since it was just over 3 months ago that we broke up, I thought I was on the way to making progress in moving on, but now all I want to do is ride down to the hospital and be there for her. This is insane, and cruel, that I had to be told this on christmas day. The day I would have been with her if we were still together. Her parents say they love me and think about me all the time. So I want to support them and her, but not overstepping the boundaries set by the stupid thing known as a breakup. I don't know why I even posted this. Mind is racing...I just gotta get a hold of things....and then go see her.
indigo_moon Posted December 25, 2004 Posted December 25, 2004 Go see her, if she's able to have visitors...life is short, so what she's your ex.....her Mom obviously thought enough of you to tell you the news................don't worry that you're the "ex"...........just drive there (safely) ...........or if you're feeling pretty wound up, have SOMEONE drive you there............it's hard to drive safely when you're upset and shocked about something. Good luck.
alphamale Posted December 25, 2004 Posted December 25, 2004 Originally posted by indigo_moon Go see her, if she's able to have visitors... I disagree, just send her parents a card stating you are concerned. Anything more will be inappropriate esp since her new b/f was involved in the accident also.
indigo_moon Posted December 25, 2004 Posted December 25, 2004 Originally posted by alphamale I disagree, just send her parents a card stating you are concerned. Anything more will be inappropriate esp since her new b/f was involved in the accident also. What does that matter? If she was injured enough to require being airlifted to hospital, she's obviously in pretty serious condition I'd think..............life is short, if you care about someone, let them know. I imagine her boyfriend has his own things to worry about, like recovering..it's not like they're going to be in the same hospital room. Sometimes things happen in life and you don't do things you wish you had done.........and then you have to live with the regret......................he's an ex, but I'm sure he's still also a friend (or why else would HER Mom have called him? - they obviously didn't end on horrible terms).........and it's obvious he's upset and shocked......................just because a person is an ex that doesn't mean they don't have the right to care and be worried in a situation like this, and there's nothing wrong with him going there..................like I said, LIFE IS SHORT, if you get my drift.
alphamale Posted December 25, 2004 Posted December 25, 2004 Originally posted by indigo_moon What does that matter? If she was injured enough to require being airlifted to hospital, she's obviously in pretty serious condition I'd think..............life is short, if you care about someone, let them know. I imagine her boyfriend has his own things to worry about, like recovering..it's not like they're going to be in the same hospital room. Yes, the accident victims are recovering and are already worried, injured, and stressed out. So why should he go and visit and cause further emotional trauma and stress and cause an uncomfortable situation? Leave them be for now until they get out of the hospital and just send a card.
Weird Posted December 25, 2004 Posted December 25, 2004 I say go visit her dude. Her folks obviously felt you should know so they probably want you to go see her. I don't think you are stepping over any boundaries by going to see how she is doing. I hope she'll be ok and I hope you will be ok as well.
moimeme Posted December 25, 2004 Posted December 25, 2004 Actually, it's pointless going anywhere until you know what shape she's in. If they had to be taken by helicopter, they may well need many hours' surgry or else time in the ICU. Wait until the parents call back with more news and then ask their advice. They will be better placed to suggest whether your presence would be welcome or not. After all, it's really the patient whose wishes need to be considered at this point. She may not want to see you.
GreenCap Posted December 25, 2004 Posted December 25, 2004 I have to agree with Moimee. When I first read the post, I was thinking go dude get to the hospital as fast as you can. This person was important in your life once and you don't want to live to regret a decision of not going or worrying by yourself. However, it is the need of the patient that is most important. Get updates through the parents and proceed from there. Actually, best is if she is sleeping, then pop by, drop a card/flowers, chat a little with parents then bugger off. Tough situation!! P/S. if you do go, don't go alone, go with a buddy, preferably a female buddy
Mr Spock Posted December 25, 2004 Posted December 25, 2004 I agree. I think that you should wait and find out what's going on. If you haven't heard from her parents in a day, call and say that you'd like to be kept in the loop and you're thinking of her and them. When you find out the extent of her condition it will be apparent if visiting is the correct thing to do-ICU isn't a good place to visit and if she's out of it she won't know who the heck you are anyways. I suggest that if that's the case visit her parents to offer support and condolences. If it's less serious and she's up to receiving visitors ask her parents if you think she'd like to see you.
HokeyReligions Posted December 25, 2004 Posted December 25, 2004 How do YOU feel about her? Are you still hoping to get back together? You may cause yourself more emotinal harm than anything and that won't help her, or her parents at all. It will just give them more to fret about. OTOH, if you can go and visit without it seeming like or feeling like a first-step toward getting back together then as soon as her family says she can have visitors, go and tell her that just because you are no longer a couple it doesn't mean that you don't care. Go with a friend so that you are not alone and your friend can make sure you don't stay too long. What I might do in your place is call her first (when she's in a regular room and can take phone calls. Check with her parents and maybe coordinate with them to call when they are there with her) and talk to her on the phone and tell her you would like to come by and see her. She may not want you to, or she may be happy for the visit. Just because people have broken up does not mean that you can't or won't care about the other persons health and happiness. I'm sorry this happened, but I'm glad that it wasn't a worse phone call.
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