Tephros Posted November 17, 2013 Posted November 17, 2013 So I'm asking for thoughts both on my particular situation below, and after-first-date texting in general (like the night of). What I hate most about dating is the uncertainty. I've been trying the online dating thing lately, and I think what confuses me most is mixed signals related to the text after a first date. At first I figured I would use it as a gauge of interest. No, the ones who didn't respond to the 2nd date call were no more or less likely to send a "thank you" text after a first date. Frankly, I wish the ones who weren't interested wouldn't send such texts. Just thank me at the end of the night and then ignore me or better yet tell me you're not interested. That way I won't waste an hour on Sunday planning a 2nd date only to have her not return my call. Most recent date is no exception. The date went really well except the end was awkward. I'm really bad about ending dates. We had been joking around playing minigolf and she had seemed comfortable with back and shoulder touch throughout this first date. At the end I went in for a kiss and half-missed and then she said that she's shy and was expecting a cheek kiss. I then thought a 2nd kiss wouldn't be a big deal because I had already basically kissed her but it was awkward again. I mentioned that I thought it wouldn't be a big deal, not really apologizing or getting upset. She then reiterated that she's shy and 2 kisses would only be okay on a 2nd date, to which I laughed and said, "Are you serious," she smiled and said no and then we said bye. Before the awkwardness began she had mentioned hanging out again sometime. So I texted her asking her to let me know when she gets home safe, mentioned I had a great time and look forward to seeing her again. I wasn't actually expecting a reply because of the awkward ending. Her reply came 10 minutes later saying she just got home safe, had fun too, and thank you with many exclamation points... So I don't really know whether to bother with the 2nd date call since she didn't reciprocate the "looking forward to seeing you again" part... And then she's on the dating site right after this exchange, but then again so was I...
Confusedguy81 Posted November 17, 2013 Posted November 17, 2013 god this post just reminds me how much I hate online dating and texting. 2
almond Posted November 17, 2013 Posted November 17, 2013 I see this sort of thing so much with online dating posts! It really is fascinating. I've never tried online dating, but is it not possible to just go with the flow and stop over-analysing everything? If you like her, ask her on a second date. Don't write her off simply because she didn't specifically address one certain part of your text message - she was pleasant and positive in the rest of her reply. Stop thinking so much. You're only doing your own head in. Stop trying to guess what other people want, and just focus on what you want and go for it. If they don't want the same, you'll soon find out, and you won't have spent hours in silly thought loops and jumping to baseless conclusions. Over thinking everything will cause you anxiety. If you're not enjoying online dating, and it is becoming a problem, it might be time to take a break. 3
Uwaae Posted November 17, 2013 Posted November 17, 2013 Why dont you just ask her out if you want to. Stop trying to get in her head, and figure out what she's thinking, and try to stay in your own head. If you want to go out with her again you should
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