csi Posted November 17, 2013 Posted November 17, 2013 My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 months, and the other day he told me that he feels like we are going in different directions, that our paths don’t match up. He says that he is confused and doesn’t know what he wants, although he still loves me and wants to be with me, yet his heart is telling him it is wrong. This makes no sense to me, if he loves me, why would he want to leave me? We kind of broke up, and then got back together after he told me he wanted to give us another try, and he told me he would just like us to chill out more, and not be so ‘full on’. He is worried about being in such a serious relationship so early in life, as we are only 18 and 19 years old. I know he loves me, however I am confused as to what he wants from this relationship. I know that I have become a little too dependant on him, which I think scares him, so just looking for some advice as to how to ‘chill out and relax’ in this relationship. I asked him if he wanted to spend less time together and have space, but he didn’t want that, he still wants to see me every weekend (as we have been for our whole relationship since we live 1 hour apart and both work 5 days a week) so just unsure as to how to be ‘less serious’.
Uwaae Posted November 17, 2013 Posted November 17, 2013 He wants you to be less depenedent, call him less, have your own friends and not be all up on him 1
devilish innocent Posted November 17, 2013 Posted November 17, 2013 Do you talk about a future where you are married to him or have kids with him as though it's a definite thing? I know that would scare me if I was dating somebody at your age. You also say you know you're overly dependent on him. So I would suggest working on those issues. You can also ask him what he means and wants. He's the one who mentioned it, so he should know better than anyone here what he means. Open communication is important. Finally, when you find out what he wants don't be afraid to ask yourself if it's what you want. You've been with him for 9 months so some seriousness in the relationship should be expected. If he wants to put less effort into the relationship or be more open to meeting new people, then you should ask yourself if you're really okay with that type of a relationship.
d0nnivain Posted November 17, 2013 Posted November 17, 2013 You need some independence. What are you doing that is fun & interesting without him during the week? If nothing, do something. If you do things, do more of them. Talk about them when you are together. Be busy.
Recommended Posts