Girlfriend going over to ex's house to take care cats...is this an issue?

[nomadic_butterfly]

My girlfriend of 3 months has gone over to her ex's house a few times (where they used to live about 8 months back) to feed and hang around the cats they used to own while her ex is on a roadtrip. I'm not sure how I feel about this, and she still has a key to his house. While there's nothing inherently wrong with this, I feel a bit uneasy although we both trust each other 100%. She says she sees nothing wrong with this.

 

What is everyone's opinion?

 

Still having a key is very strange. They don't have kids for crying out loud, it's a pet (albeit cute and lovable). I would feel weird about it. How do you know the length of time he is out of town for? I think he should of let another friend who did not happen to be an ex in a current relationship.

 

I think you need to have a boundaries talk. Unless they co-own/co-parent what ever you wanna call it the cat, there are alternatives. I don't necessarily think she is doing something shady; she didn't have to say squat in the first place but I think you should have a boundaries chat and I don't see why she needs a key. I'd freak out if I just started dating a guy, we're chiling on the couch and then an ex pops in b/c she has a key.

[Grumpybutfun]

Much ado about nada. The ex isn't there and the cats were a part of her life. Unless she is a wh0re who sleeps around with ex bfs or is secretive in her dealings with her ex, what is the real problem here? Trust issues or bitter insecurity due to cheating in your past or in the past of someone you know. Meh, not really seeing the issue except the OP is insecure and has trust issues.

G

[free_radicals]

We talked further about the issue yesterday and I mentioned that I had posted this and told her about the different stances people replied with here. We came to an agreement that since It's only temporary taking care of the cats is not a big deal especially because she cares about them. She's also keeping the key in case something like this is needed in the future. We made it clear that the key is only to be used when taking care of the ex's cats when he's out, which won't be often anyway. At the same time, I requested that I know when she's going over to the ex's to take care of the cats just so that it doesn't seem "hidden" and cause any natural suspicion.

 

So I realized that these concerns do have to do with trust. Since I do trust her 100%, I'm looking past them and it doesn't make sense for me to worry.

 

Thanks everyone.