brokenheart1992 Posted November 17, 2013 Posted November 17, 2013 It wasn't until after my ex broke up with me until I TRULY realized how controlling, manipulative and selfish I was. When we argued, he would often call me selfish but I never took it to heart because I thought he was angry and didn't know what he was saying. After he broke up with me, I realized everything about myself. I saw everything bad about myself. I didn't know why I was like that... and I wished I wasn't. I'm trying to change myself now but I keep beating myself up for my actions in the past. If I wasn't controlling, he wouldn't have broken up with me. Why didn't I realize this sooner? I hate myself for it. I can't accept the fact that I lost the person I love the most because of my personality and behavior.
aybc123 Posted November 17, 2013 Posted November 17, 2013 1) you probably weren't as bad as you think you are so try not to beat yourself up too much now, exaggerated negative thinking and self-loathing is a pretty typical response when dumped. 2) However, that doesn't mean you weren't at all selfish/controlling, which you probably realise. There's nothing you can do to change anything in the past, and you can't fix the relationship that was lost, you can, however, make sure that it doesn't happen again. People learn from their mistakes and usually don't make the same ones in subsequent relationships (doesn't mean you wont make completely different ones but hey).
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