Being There For Her

[Tk123]

Hey there! So today was a weird but interesting day. I would really appreciate it if you took the time to read this from top to bottom!

 

Recently, a friend of mine has been going through some relationship issues. Her and her ex boyfriend were doing a long distance relationship that ended harshly. Just today, we were working on a project for one of our classes (we are college students), and she asked if she could go take an important phone call. I said sure and let her do her thing.

 

About 10-15 minutes later, she still hadn't returned. Getting worried, I left the room and went looking for her. I found her in an empty room and saw her in tears while she was on the phone with her now ex boyfriend. She opened the door and let me in while she was on the phone, and she looked like a wreck.

 

Their conversation ended and she sat in one of the chairs sobbing. Feeling bad, I went over and rubbed her back and wrapped my arm around her letting her know it would be alright. After another 5 minutes, she got up and agreed to finish our project.

 

After we finished the project, I felt like I needed to get her mind off things. I could tell she was absolutely miserable with everything going on. I took her to a horse stable and we went for a ride. Throughout the whole time between the car drive there, the whole horse thing and the ride back, she thanked me for what seemed to be a million times for what I did for her. She said things like "this is the best day of my life" and told me how excited and how much fun she was having while we were there.

 

Afterwards, we had some conversation about relationships and how everything with her ex boyfriend will be a thing of the past. I dropped her off home after the whole thing. She gave me a big hug and was so happy. I told her to smile and keep smiling for the rest of the day; that things will only get better from here.

 

A few minutes after I dropped her off she sent me a text again thanking me so much and that what I did for her was something she really needed to make her feel better. I told her it was no big deal and we exchanged a few more texts to each other. We didn't really take the text conversation far, and I figured I'd see her next week in class on Tuesday again (when we have a class together).

 

So now my question is: Based off of everything I told you (if you read the whole thing), how do you think this girl feels about me? Are we really good friends, or is there a chance she could want something more than that down the road once she recovers from this relationship? How do you feel I handled this whole situation? Did I do the right thing for giving her that shoulder to lean/cry on to make things better?

 

I feel like I'm a guy with a big heart when it comes to stuff like this and I couldn't just leave after we finished or school stuff for her to sob. My heart sort of beats fast around her, and I feel like I get some butterflies at first when I talk to her (maybe I am starting to like this girl?). Any thoughts/input on this situation would be greatly appreciated.

 

-Tom

[Tk123]

110 views! No one has anything to say?

[Mikeisha]

What a nice deed. You made a difference in the way she was feeling today. Hats off to you! One thing is for sure, she was very appreciative for you taking her out. From the sounds of things, she COULD like you. She went out with you, thanked you repeatedly, and then had a text session. You all spent a lot of time together today and it seems like you two couldn't get enough of each other. This is cute. See what happens.

[countryrider13]

It doesn't hurt to be there for a friend to lean on in a time of need. Sounds like you were just showing your concern without trying to digg deep and prey into her problems. After her bad break up I'm sure she feels great to have someone show they care. Ether she would want more with you over time or not time will tell, but i don't think she's quite ready yet. Just continue to show support, and be yourself and as time presses you'll get more of an idea if she would like to pursue more.

[Shepp]

Tom, you sound like a good guy and it sounds like you did a good thing!

 

If she let you see her cry and she agreed to spend the day with you and she hugged you and all that then there's totally potential to...progress your relationship at some point if that's what you want.

 

Its tough because you don't want to move to soon but you don't want to miss your boat. This is a line you have to feel for yourself cause it comes down to variables.

But give it a bit of time - you don't want to be the rebound guy, who she jumps to cause she's hurtin' and equally it sounds like you need to work out how you feel as well, I'm sure you don't want to let her down - so you need to know if you do like her or what..

 

Sometimes when your there for someone when they need it and you have a real affect/effect on there day it can leave you feeling close to them. I know when I'm at work I get called to help people when there desperate and in that moment you do feel close to them / want the best for them.

Its worth putting some thought into do you feel close to her or are you into her.

 

A girl came up to me when I was in a restaurant with my family not long ago and asked me if I remembered her, I couldn't, and then she told me that she was the driver of the [colour] ford that crashed on [street] a few months ago. I really didn't do very much at all, it was the paramedics that she should of been thanking. It was just we were on the scene first and I was one of the smaller guys on that call and so I climbed through the window to see how she was and keep her chatting. In all that she went through that day and a bang on the head she remembered me! (which felt pretty good) but the point is more that sometimes people bond when there guards down. There's a definite chance that this girl saw you in a different way because you were there for her when she was more vulnerable. Hence you want to put some thought into how you play this from here.

 

Wish you all the best brother

[Tk123]

What a nice deed. You made a difference in the way she was feeling today. Hats off to you! One thing is for sure, she was very appreciative for you taking her out. From the sounds of things, she COULD like you. She went out with you, thanked you repeatedly, and then had a text session. You all spent a lot of time together today and it seems like you two couldn't get enough of each other. This is cute. See what happens.

 

Thanks for the response! I agree that I think she had a great time and we did spend a good portion of the day together. I'm going to just be that good friend that's there for her and see what happens.

 

It doesn't hurt to be there for a friend to lean on in a time of need. Sounds like you were just showing your concern without trying to digg deep and prey into her problems. After her bad break up I'm sure she feels great to have someone show they care. Ether she would want more with you over time or not time will tell, but i don't think she's quite ready yet. Just continue to show support, and be yourself and as time presses you'll get more of an idea if she would like to pursue more.

 

Thank you! That's what I was going for. I didn't want to dig too deep into her problems, I let her tell me how she was feeling and I would simply give my thoughts on how this break up might be a good thing for her. I wasn't going to interrogate her with questions especially with the state of mind she was in.

 

Tom, you sound like a good guy and it sounds like you did a good thing!

 

If she let you see her cry and she agreed to spend the day with you and she hugged you and all that then there's totally potential to...progress your relationship at some point if that's what you want.

 

Its tough because you don't want to move to soon but you don't want to miss your boat. This is a line you have to feel for yourself cause it comes down to variables.

But give it a bit of time - you don't want to be the rebound guy, who she jumps to cause she's hurtin' and equally it sounds like you need to work out how you feel as well, I'm sure you don't want to let her down - so you need to know if you do like her or what..

 

Sometimes when your there for someone when they need it and you have a real affect/effect on there day it can leave you feeling close to them. I know when I'm at work I get called to help people when there desperate and in that moment you do feel close to them / want the best for them.

Its worth putting some thought into do you feel close to her or are you into her.

 

A girl came up to me when I was in a restaurant with my family not long ago and asked me if I remembered her, I couldn't, and then she told me that she was the driver of the [colour] ford that crashed on [street] a few months ago. I really didn't do very much at all, it was the paramedics that she should of been thanking. It was just we were on the scene first and I was one of the smaller guys on that call and so I climbed through the window to see how she was and keep her chatting. In all that she went through that day and a bang on the head she remembered me! (which felt pretty good) but the point is more that sometimes people bond when there guards down. There's a definite chance that this girl saw you in a different way because you were there for her when she was more vulnerable. Hence you want to put some thought into how you play this from here.

 

Wish you all the best brother

 

"Its tough because you don't want to move to soon but you don't want to miss your boat"

 

This is EXACTLY how I'm feeling. I know right now is too soon and I wasn't planning on being the rebound guy. However, I don't want to miss an opportunity either. There are plenty of other guys in college that I'm sure would want to be with this girl.

 

This is where I'm torn because I don't know if it's maybe just a good idea to be her close friend and let her do the deciding if she wants to take it further.

 

 

 

I appreciate all the responses! I couldn't sleep at all last night thinking about this. If anyone has anything else to add I would greatly appreciate it!!

[Tk123]

So I told her yesterday if she ever wants to talk she knows she can text me however, I haven't heard from her at all since yesterday. What am I to think of this?

 

-Tom

[Tk123]

Talked to her again today and things seem to be the same as yesterday. One thing I don't want to do is get friendzoned. Should I be a little flirty with her or is it too soon still? Now that we are near the 2 day mark of the breakup.

 

-Tom