Dating a girl with herpes?

[Thunderkiss]

So long story, I met this girl via online dating just about 2 years ago now. We hung out a few times, we were both into each other just overall we had good chemistry. Before things started to get sexual, she told me her ex was in the military, and had cheated on her but didn't tell her. He ended up giving her genital herpes. She told me this before things got sexual, to which I told her I really appreciated the honesty and that I didn't want to take the risk of getting that, but we could still be friends.

 

Fast forward to now, 2 years later. We still talk, I'd say shes one of my better friends. We have a lot of sexual flirting back and forth etc via text. She wants to meet up and hang out all the time, as do I, but the herpes thing honestly scares me so I always make up excuses or become busy etc. But we still text nearly everyday.

 

Anybody been in this situation? I feel like if we've been talking for 2 years, we would have a really good shot at dating long term, possibly lifetime material? The other part of me is scared it won't last, and I'll be a single 20-something with herpes and won't ever get a date again. Any input would be great

[djcos25]

I've been in the same exact situation just recently. If you're uncomfortable don't do it. Say it doesn't work out with her and you do catch it? Good luck trying to get a girl then. You gotta look out for yourself.

 

I'm not exaggerating by how similar our situations are. I was interested in a girl, we fooled around but no sex. She sat me down and told me she got herpes from her ex who cheated on her. She found out when she went to the doctors. I too was uncomfortable but kept seeing her. A week later she tells me she doesn't feel it anymore and that she can be too picky. Seemed more like she didn't know what she wanted. Blessing in disguise I guess.

[Omei]

Its been 2 years if shes been treated medicaly on a regular basis theres a chance its even gone. You should ask her, look up options and info about how you can protect yourself.

 

And im sure she's long noticed you flaking on her by now and she can probably guess why.

[Eggplant]

You could date her the old-fashioned way and not have sex. Then if you are madly in love and want to get married, start the sex then. Shouldn't take more than a year to know whether that's the situation.

 

If she's going to be your wife, then I think it's just some stupid cold sores anyway...

[Tina747]

Ok, I do not have an std myself, but I would rather date someone who knew they did than not and was honest about it. Statistics say that someone is more likely to catch an std from someone who did not know they had one or someone who straight out lied (which is apparently pretty common), The fact someone was honest with you says a lot about their integrity. Just take precautions... Not sure why you would pass someone who had that kind of integrity to be honest with you and you really liked them . I wouldn't!

[ponchsox]

Ruling out a potential partner because they have herpes is a big mistake. Anyone who,tells you they have it early on is probably good person. Personally, I would abstain from sex for a while until the relationship got serious and had marriage potential. I would not risk contracting an STD over something that is short lived and hurt my future dating potential.

[soccerrprp]

Although there is NO CURE for herpes, it can be treated and with proper protection, minimize the chance of contracting it. If you really like her, get educated as others have said and then decide.

 

Personally had a date with a woman who had herpes and couldn't do it. I always ask partners if they are clean and strongly suggest that tests be shown or done to confirm before starting to have sex. If that's not possible, condoms all the way.

[gaius]

If she's putting up with you constantly turning her down there's probably something she likes about a guy who isn't that into her. Once you give in and start having sex it would be interesting to see how interested she stays.

 

I was in the same situation years ago and honestly, I'm very grateful it never ended up with sex. When you're horny for someone your mind will tell you whatever it takes to rationalize sleeping with her. You really think you're going to be with this girl for life? Cause that's long herpes stays.

[William]

As this is a new member who posted up a provocative topic then logged out and hasn't returned, and moderation has dealt with some inflammatory postings here already, we'll close this up. Thanks!