WingedHussar Posted November 16, 2013 Posted November 16, 2013 Hi all...new here Today I am going on my first date since my breakup. I am 28 years old, and about 4.5 months ago got out of a 3 year relationship. I am not sure how much weight to give this date since I got it off of Tinder. I was just using the app for fun, and ended up texting back and forth with a girl for awhile and decided she seems like a really interesting person and wanted to meet. So we have a date today later at 5pm at a coffee shop/restaurant. I wanted to start with coffees and see how it goes, and keep it fairly casual. She said she is teaching a yoga workshop before so I am not sure if she is just going to swing by after that, or shower up and spruce up. So my question is do I dress to impress or go fairly casually dressed but nice? We set the date on Wednesday and she never met anyone off of Tinder (neither have I) and texted that it should be interesting to meet on Saturday. No contact since then...that's fine right? California is notorious for flakes, so with most of my friends I use the "double confirm" but I figure if she flakes on the date I won't think much of it. Lastly this is a place without waiter you go up and order, I want to pay, even though it's just coffee. How or when do I know if we should extend the date? Will it be obvious? Is that my goal? (assuming we hit it off) I never really dated and most of my relationships start as friendships. Thanks, a tad nervous!
jba10582 Posted November 16, 2013 Posted November 16, 2013 If you susepect a flake and let go of any expectations, following up to confirm or making alternate plans is a great idea. Buying coffee is fine, and, a laid back comfortable choice for a first date. Place, lead and listen while you let things flow. As your nerves settle, you may find that you keep eye contact, smile and stay in the moment. You may notice that you find more about her as a person. As you pay attention to her body language, it becomes more of a learning experience to gage where things are going. You may find that common interests develop and easily drift across your thoughts, naturally leading to new dates and experiences.
Author WingedHussar Posted November 18, 2013 Author Posted November 18, 2013 Hey! So I went on the date last night. It was supposed to be at 5, she got a flat and we moved it back to 8:45. Changed from coffee to Sangria instead. Well I expected it to be whatever... But she is a really cool girl, we got along great. What I thought would be 30 minutes turned into 3 hours. The time flew by and there was never a quiet, dull or awkward moment. She's attractive and cute. I didn't really get a chance to really "press the attraction." But my friends said it's okay since it's a first date. I noticed a lot of good body language though and caught her checking me out when I sat closer to her later, I saw her checking me out and perhaps get a little flustered in a good way. We didn't discuss any concrete plans for the next date. I tried to pay for drinks but she insisted to split so I obliges. But a few ideas were thrown around. I told her I'd walk her to her car and she said no it's okay, I kept walking anyway and she was happy I did. Didn't kiss at the end but got a big long hug. Texted after if she got home okay and she said she did and had a great time. Didn't text at all today but then again my phone was dead and I was outdoors all day. Question: I was thinking of shooting for a Wednesday or Tuesday date. I'm not sure what to do for a second date, I was thinking maybe something similar (like a dinner) or perhaps something more active or fun? I'm not much of a dater so it was a good date especially based on it being from a phone app. All advice is welcome since I could use it!
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