Love-Less Posted November 16, 2013 Posted November 16, 2013 We had our very first fight yesterday. It was in regards to a decision I was going to make regarding the job I am currently work at. Instead of being supportive of my decision he gave me all these reasons not to. On top of that how he acted towards me the night before was extremely selfish. We had sex, BUT I wasn't completely satisfied. I basically assisted in him having an org*sm. After helping him I its his turn to satisfy me sexually. Well right after he falls asleep saying that he's tired and that he "got me tomorrow" he then later ask if its alright if he spends the night over to my place tomorrow (which was yesterday)I tell him that it is fine that he does. Well he gets up and leaves after sleeping a few hours because he has to go to work the following morning. Well he just acted totally weird after that. We text throughout the day but he doesn't mention once coming to see me. He's never done this before. We talk about my decision on the phone for a few minutes which escalates into an argument because he's just not being supportive AT ALL. He then all of a sudden wants to get off the phone with me, gives me this lame excuse as to why he needed to get off the phone. So I call him back asking if he was going to come over. He stumbles over the reasons why he can't saying he just doesn't have the money to come over...etc. LIKE HE NEVER INTENDED TO COME OVER IN THE FIRST PLACE. So I reminded him that he ASKED to spent the night. That it would have been alright if he would have just told me that me he couldn't make it instead of having me expect him to come over ALL DAY. He then comes with this pathetic apology saying that he can try and see if he can make it etc. I told him not to worry about it and he just immediately said okay. That was the last I spoke to him on the phone that day. So I'm upset about current issues going on with work and etc, and then he blows me off and doesn't once text me to see if I'm alright. I texted him after I got off from work last night asking if he was alright. All he replied was that he's fine. I called him and he never picked up. I know that he is available because he never goes to sleep early on the weekends. If this is his way of "PUNISHING ME" for how I responded to his lack of support and the a**h*le move he pulled about seeing me yesterday he's got another thing coming. I'm seriously thinking about breaking up with him because he's doing this **** in the beginning of our relationship, God I don't want to know how it'll be further down the road. Am I wrong for feeling this way?
d0nnivain Posted November 16, 2013 Posted November 16, 2013 He may simply be seeking some space / distance to put your career choices in perspective. You already said you fought because he didn't agree with them. Yes, it would have been better if he were clearer about the plans -- coming over or not -- but at this point, assuming you're spending Saturday night alone. See how all this looks & feels in the light of day but let him come back to you. Don't call or text or reach out. If you don't hear from him by next Friday, assume it's over.
Author Love-Less Posted November 16, 2013 Author Posted November 16, 2013 (edited) He may simply be seeking some space / distance to put your career choices in perspective. You already said you fought because he didn't agree with them. Yes, it would have been better if he were clearer about the plans -- coming over or not -- but at this point, assuming you're spending Saturday night alone. See how all this looks & feels in the light of day but let him come back to you. Don't call or text or reach out. If you don't hear from him by next Friday, assume it's over. Among many important thing I have learned in my history of dating this fact holds very true. IF THEY HAVEN'T SAID IT THEM SELF THEN YOU'RE MAKING EXCUSES FOR THEM. I'm not going to assume anything like that. Because if he felt that way he would have told me. I gave him an open invitation to tell me what was wrong via the "are you okay text" he gave me a very nonchalant reply that he was fine DESPITE the argument we had earlier that day. I proceeded to get in touch with him via phone, which I KNOW he saw my phone calls because he has that d*mned phone glued to his side. He NEVER goes to bed early on the weekends because he's off. So this is bull crap. My gut feeling is telling me he's full of crap and my gut feeling has never lead me wrong...never. I'm not going to wait on anything I'm going to continue living my life. If he contacts me I will teach him the consequences of his actions by showing him my a$$. I think what upsets me the most is that he left me freakin' HORNY all d*mn night, lying right beside me and didn't do crap. PROMISED to satisfy me sexually the following day but then flakes out on me... He gets me to satisfy him sexually but then when it comes to doing his part on my behalf he says he's tired and will satisfy me tomorrow but then leaves the whole seeing me thing completely open...doesn't tell me that he isn't going to be able to see me, but I had to ask him about it myself to get it out of him. That is such a selfish a**h*le move!! Edited November 16, 2013 by Love-Less
Leigh 87 Posted November 16, 2013 Posted November 16, 2013 I have NEVER had a guy who wasn't DYING to go down on me and return ANY favour. Oh. Besides my jerk EX. He wasn't in love with me. I doubt your guy is ever going to be with you, either, by the sounds of things. Guys who are fallig hard for a girl, when she is the one, they do not act this way. Your guy is incredibly rude, sefish, and instead of working through problems he bails. I would 100% break up with him if it were me, URGE you to as well. I know you have feelings for him and it's hard, but it will not magcially fix itself. He is showing his TRUE colours.
Leigh 87 Posted November 16, 2013 Posted November 16, 2013 I went to bed horny EVERY freaking NIGHT with my ex. He didnt want to go down on me often, which is the only way I can orgasm, therfore we had sex and he may have gone down for a quick "taste" as he called it, once a week or less, but yeah. I pretty much rolled over, masturbated, and fell asleep:lmao: Loved him like crazy though. It DOES NOT change. If he is like this now ........... yeah:o
Johnson1 Posted November 16, 2013 Posted November 16, 2013 I think what upsets me the most is that he left me freakin' HORNY all d*mn night, lying right beside me and didn't do crap. Sheesh, sounds like my ex-wife. She did the same crap to me for years and I put up with it. What made it worse was she NEVER promised to satisfy me. It built up so much resentment you could cut it with a knife. I could never leave a woman horny. I'm too horny myself! I'll NEVER need Viagra. If anything I'd need the opposite.
Johnson1 Posted November 16, 2013 Posted November 16, 2013 (edited) I went to bed horny EVERY freaking NIGHT with my ex. He didnt want to go down on me often, which is the only way I can orgasm, therfore we had sex and he may have gone down for a quick "taste" as he called it, once a week or less, but yeah. I pretty much rolled over, masturbated, and fell asleep:lmao: Loved him like crazy though. It DOES NOT change. If he is like this now ........... yeah:o WTH?, are you serious???? You're flippin cute! What was this dude's problem? I could never do that. I would give you way more than you can handle. ALL THE TIME! ;-) Edited November 16, 2013 by Vocals5
Never Again Posted November 16, 2013 Posted November 16, 2013 He is showing his TRUE colours. Alternatively, he's pissed off just like the OP is. This is the first fight you've had, and the first time things have gotten "tough". You don't know how to handle each other in this state, and it's not always going to be sunshine and kittens. As much as some people will throw out anecdotal evidence about their own lives (which is a big logical fallacy, by the way) to try to prove why you should or shouldn't do something...the best course of action is almost always patience and communication. Tell him his behavior is bothering you. Show him you have a backbone by not putting up with his sh*t. If he gives you trouble from there, then make the decision you think is right. Decisions made while heated are almost always poor. Take your time, figure out what you really want, and make it happen.
Author Love-Less Posted November 16, 2013 Author Posted November 16, 2013 Alternatively, he's pissed off just like the OP is. This is the first fight you've had, and the first time things have gotten "tough". You don't know how to handle each other in this state, and it's not always going to be sunshine and kittens. As much as some people will throw out anecdotal evidence about their own lives (which is a big logical fallacy, by the way) to try to prove why you should or shouldn't do something...the best course of action is almost always patience and communication. Tell him his behavior is bothering you. Show him you have a backbone by not putting up with his sh*t. If he gives you trouble from there, then make the decision you think is right. Decisions made while heated are almost always poor. Take your time, figure out what you really want, and make it happen. I think your response was the best advice. However my suspicions of him avoiding me last night were confirmed. I talked to him not too long ago and caught him in a lie. He actually went out and got the PS4...with his brother. Talk about his money being tight. My sister and her boyfriend are saying I shouldn't let that this bother me so much since her boyfriend did things like this in the beginning... They argue all the damn time. I'm not going to put up with that. If you feel its more important to flake out on a promise you made to me to play a freakin video game, then clearly I'm not as important to you as you claimed me to be. What's more he LIED about not having enough gas money to come see me, but he had money to go buy a video game!! He's sticking to that he didn't have enough money but yet you felt you had the money to go get a damn video game... I don't think I can put up with this type of lying in the future. If you wanted to go and play a video game all you had to do was ask. He thinks everything is fine, but I can't deal with this... My ex before him did similar things...its too close for my comfort.
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