McGuffin Posted November 16, 2013 Posted November 16, 2013 I met a guy playing volleyball. We've dated 4 months. Both in our 30's. Sometimes, he gets off work early. I wasn't working yesterday. Our regular volleyball time is 5:30. Around noon, I texted him that I'd see him at 5:30. But if he was getting off work early and wanted to come by earlier, to let me know. His answer was "Of course I'd like to come by. I won't be home that late." 2 hours later, he texted that he ran into a neighbor at the bar. Not a problem. I figured that meant he might not be stopping by early and told him to have fun. He sent me several nice messages and pics of their beers. He was at a bar. Who knows who he was there with. I have no reason to believe he wasn't with the neighbor. By 3:30, I asked him if he was going to be able to drive. He kind of dodged the question with some answer about food soaking up the alcohol. At 5:25, he's not shown up yet or texted me. So I texted to ask if he's coming. At 5:30, I left by myself. 45 minutes later, I get a text "Um. No. I'm still drinking. Sorry." I texted him that I figured that out but didn't appreciate having to. He said he's sorry and didn't realize what time it was. At that point, I was pissed and didn't want to talk to him. If he really cared, he would have kept track of time. I got about 7 more apology texts, which I didn't answer. At about midnight I looked at my phone, and had a text from 10:30 that said his neighbor was going to pick up his truck, that he's "such a d^ck for getting drunk", and he hopes he hears from me. All I said back was "I don't know what to say". Which he's probably not gotten yet. Should I call it quits or just tell him not to do it again?
todreaminblue Posted November 16, 2013 Posted November 16, 2013 I met a guy playing volleyball. We've dated 4 months. Both in our 30's. Sometimes, he gets off work early. I wasn't working yesterday. Our regular volleyball time is 5:30. Around noon, I texted him that I'd see him at 5:30. But if he was getting off work early and wanted to come by earlier, to let me know. His answer was "Of course I'd like to come by. I won't be home that late." 2 hours later, he texted that he ran into a neighbor at the bar. Not a problem. I figured that meant he might not be stopping by early and told him to have fun. He sent me several nice messages and pics of their beers. He was at a bar. Who knows who he was there with. I have no reason to believe he wasn't with the neighbor. By 3:30, I asked him if he was going to be able to drive. He kind of dodged the question with some answer about food soaking up the alcohol. At 5:25, he's not shown up yet or texted me. So I texted to ask if he's coming. At 5:30, I left by myself. 45 minutes later, I get a text "Um. No. I'm still drinking. Sorry." I texted him that I figured that out but didn't appreciate having to. He said he's sorry and didn't realize what time it was. At that point, I was pissed and didn't want to talk to him. If he really cared, he would have kept track of time. I got about 7 more apology texts, which I didn't answer. At about midnight I looked at my phone, and had a text from 10:30 that said his neighbor was going to pick up his truck, that he's "such a d^ck for getting drunk", and he hopes he hears from me. All I said back was "I don't know what to say". Which he's probably not gotten yet. Should I call it quits or just tell him not to do it again? why do guys send pics of beer its not very interesting to look at......what can you reply to a pic of beers ......yo wow look at those bubbles you are going to get waaasted.....yeah i would dump a guy for sending me pics of beers unless of course they had umbrellas in them...kidding.....i think you should give him another chance but if this drinking thing is common with him ....then he has a problem.,...and missed dates could become a regular thing..deb
Author McGuffin Posted November 16, 2013 Author Posted November 16, 2013 lol @ pics of beers. I don't know. This was the first sh^tty thing he's done. We communicate well and have fun. There are little things he offers to help me do, like help me paint something on Tues but then he ends up not having time on Tues because of work. Those were little disappointments, but for things I really didn't need his help on and that he didn't have to offer to help. So I wasn't bugged by them. But after this, I question how reliable he is. I haven't seen him drink heavily before.
d0nnivain Posted November 16, 2013 Posted November 16, 2013 Drunks are notoriously unreliable. By the time you got the 2nd text you should have figured out he wasn't coming. Yes, it was crappy of him to stand you up for alcohol but he did text several times. If this behavior happens again, I'd dump him but if this was a one time event, I could get over it if I really liked the guy. Would you have been welcome if you had shown up at the bar? If no, then also I would say that it's time to end this.
truth_seeker Posted November 16, 2013 Posted November 16, 2013 But after this, I question how reliable he is. I haven't seen him drink heavily before. Get out now before you start catching deeper feelings for him and discovering more bad things about him.
Author McGuffin Posted November 16, 2013 Author Posted November 16, 2013 By the time you got the 2nd text you should have figured out he wasn't coming. I did. Why I left and went by myself.
Author McGuffin Posted November 16, 2013 Author Posted November 16, 2013 Thanks for the responses. Mixed opinions I see. I talked to him and he swears that's not how he normally is. There were special circumstances. I'll give him this one. But I'm not willing to put up with it if he stands me up again. 1
GeorgesIsntAtHome Posted November 16, 2013 Posted November 16, 2013 (edited) I got about 7 more apology texts, Err, i'd just go out and say that it does seem like he cares a lot here give the poor guy a second chance just not 10 chances... and make sure he knows that you won't stand for it, if he does it again, well do what you gotta do, he's clearly not serious or reliable Edited November 16, 2013 by GeorgesIsntAtHome
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