7 Months Later

[BLS]

I can't believe it, seven months.

I haven't posted in this forum in about two months, I haven't had to.

 

7 Months later, and I still think of her everyday.

But it's OK. The thoughts fade quickly.

 

I still don't have the "full" story.

I accept that I never will.

 

I've used to keep tabs on her. I don't anymore

But I still wonder.

 

Our breakup used to be all I talked about. I drove my friends crazy.

It's the last thing I want brought up, now.

 

She's hooked up with former friends of mine. I lost friends, life experience and my dignity over her.

I'm putting the pieces back together.

 

I've broken NC in the worst, most pathetic ways possible.

Progress was not reset for more than a week.

I would never consider it, again.

 

I still think about the future, about how I imagine my success will make her envy me. I hope to not care anymore.

 

I used to be upset all the time. Now, it's only sometimes. I was in a relationship for 2.5 years. I now know how it feels to be the victim of un-reciprocated love.

 

But I've met new women. The ways I've felt about them have made me realize that I can love other women. I've become more selective about them, because I know I have worth.

 

The most important thing I've learned is that I am OK with being by myself.

 

No matter what, I will make it to see tomorrow and have the ability to draft a new future. A better, happier future.

 

I don't know if my feelings will ever fade completely, but I know that I am OK with being alone, with being myself, and capable of loving a new person.

 

If you are here on LS, you probably feel like garbage on the inside. My advice, is to set new goals for yourself. Reach for new highs. Dedicate yourself to improving EVERY aspect of your life.

 

It gets better. I say this as somebody's who's done the most embarrassing things possible for a person I had believed to be the only one I was ever capable of loving. You will find somebody new, in time. Somebody better for you. Never settle, don't rush the process and learn to be OK with just being YOU.

 

Rushing into new relationships will inevitably end up hurting another person. I say this as somebody who's done it.

 

7 Months later, and I'm doing OK. How are you all doing?

Edited November 16, 2013 by BLS

[emi]

Im still thinking of him, but my feeling has fade. I dont know what im feeling anymore

[CYBER77]

Im still thinking of him, but my feeling has fade. I dont know what im feeling anymore

 

 

i did forget my ex ex too but her thoughts came back i don't love her i don't want her back or anything she was bad for me like you i don't know what it is too :/ thats killing me not to know ,i guess its just that we people put up efforts in relationship we cared once and may be still do through we don't want these people back in our life!

[Sand Man Dan]

First post here. Lurked for months, however.

 

Great post BLS. It's highly narrative of my own situation.

 

I'm 5 months out of my relationship with her and it doesn't feel nearly that long.

 

I too think of her everyday, but it is less painful than the months past.

 

 

 

I honestly believed that she was the only one I was capable of loving, for a long time. Time passes, and it transitions into believing she was the only one capable of loving me. That thought then transitioned, as I healed, into: she probably never truly loved me, but truly THOUGHT she did, as an (unbeknownst to me) emotionally vulnerable, damaged, and incredibly immature woman. A true unstable narcissist.

 

I'm glad now, after the tears, heartwrenching, after the turbulence. I'm glad for the lessons I've learned about people. I've learned, for the future, not to take a lover at their word, but at their actions. I've learned to never ignore red flags again. I've learned that when someone pulls away, you (figuratively) help them pack their bags, rather than beg plead or reason. You do this for yourself (NOT to win them back).

 

Never compromise. Never put up. Never be afraid to walk away. And NEVER forget the lessons you learn. These experiences, this pain, they define and guide your life.