Omei Posted November 15, 2013 Posted November 15, 2013 (edited) Its been still 9 months or 10 months... Today im in tears normally im strong but I was watching the news and they showed phoenix airport it was empty so I could see the very chairs we sat in where we would rush to kiss each other and cry when we had to part so many years looking at those seats on tv broke me down like no other. I hate he left me I hate that I have SO MUCH love for them and he no longer wants me in his life. Yes ive stopped contact ive stopped crying everyday and I do not stalk, but my heart is so empty even my friends can tell there's a hole. I miss him so bad my love still hasn't wavered and I know he's not even giving 5 mins of a thought of me the pain is so hard to bare. I tried dating but it never feels right. I often wish he died sometimes I think the pain of losing him to death rather knowing he just doesn't love me is better. I am working on myself but this empty spot is torture, snow is falling it reminds me of him all our days in the winter. I think I don't ever want to love this hard again. I am suffocating. I want to contact and spill but it wont mean anything at all, he wont care I know he wont I miss when I didn't feel this way Before you say maybe I need help moving on, I think I have to all extent that I could besides having a new boyfriend, I don't think about him everyday I never picture him with a new gf that doesn't bother me what bothers me is I will never see him again, and I cant for my sake anyway. Just want the hole to be filled again Edited November 15, 2013 by Omei
Author Omei Posted November 15, 2013 Author Posted November 15, 2013 Then *click* im okay again. Stupid. Lol 1
Nubcake Posted November 15, 2013 Posted November 15, 2013 I read stories like yours how even after years people still hurt and feel empty without their ex and unable to enjoy new relationships. A grim fate that awaits me, I'm still on the crying everyday phase. My ex will have a permanent place in my heart for I still love her with all my heart. I don't know how I can help you other than generic advice to say keep hope alive that someday things will get better no matter how small that hope is. This hope is the only thing that makes me deal with the emptiness, depression, and pain I face everyday even though I wish I was dead. Its all I got and all I know. I sooooo wish I too could have a conversation with my ex and pour out everything I feel like you do. She won't care either, but it I think it would make me feel a little better or maybe it won't. Edit: hehe glad it was short lived 1
me85 Posted November 15, 2013 Posted November 15, 2013 No, I don't think it's stupid at all. I'm so sorry. Sounds like we both love extremely hard, so therefore we hurt extremely hard too. Makes sense. 9/10 months...really, that's not that long. Hang in there:o 1
me85 Posted November 16, 2013 Posted November 16, 2013 I read stories like yours how even after years people still hurt and feel empty without their ex and unable to enjoy new relationships. A grim fate that awaits me, I'm still on the crying everyday phase. My ex will have a permanent place in my heart for I still love her with all my heart. I don't know how I can help you other than generic advice to say keep hope alive that someday things will get better no matter how small that hope is. This hope is the only thing that makes me deal with the emptiness, depression, and pain I face everyday even though I wish I was dead. Its all I got and all I know. I sooooo wish I too could have a conversation with my ex and pour out everything I feel like you do. She won't care either, but it I think it would make me feel a little better or maybe it won't. Edit: hehe glad it was short lived I promise you, it won't make you feel better. Only worse. Nothing you do will change how they feel. They just don't want us. We'll get past this guys! We'll survive! "NEVER SAY DIE!"
lollipopspot Posted November 16, 2013 Posted November 16, 2013 Title: "Hard pain to BEAR" "Bare" means exposed (like without clothes) The difference between bare and bear (grammar lesson)
Mario79 Posted November 16, 2013 Posted November 16, 2013 (edited) You know that about wishing they were dead, not out of hate, but the fact maybe dealing with a loss of someone who is no longer in this world is better than knowing there out there living and doing stuff with other people. I get that. Loving someone so hard is just not something you can control. I sometimes wish someone would hit me over the head like in a cartoon so I would get amnesia. I would rather forget she exists. But its all wishful thinking. Its all in our heads, a version of them we would love to return to. I am sure you have been moving slowly out of that darkness. I have to believe it will happen for you so I can believe it will happen for me:) Edited November 16, 2013 by Mario79 2
Author Omei Posted November 16, 2013 Author Posted November 16, 2013 amnesia would be nice. I am fine again totally fine, once and a while tho something click and i get totally gutted and everything flows back in mass pain then it gos away it happens about maybe once a month NO SPELLING CORRECTIONS!! this is the only place on the net where I haven't seen people nit pick spelling don't ruin it! A lot of people type mistakes on here a lot because their tears are covering their eyes while they rapidly type out their hurt 3
Mario79 Posted November 16, 2013 Posted November 16, 2013 I am glad to hear that. Mine has been steady and constant. Mainly cause I broke NC this week and it sucked. So mass pain has been daily. You give me hope though. On side note is that Kenshin?
Sasa123 Posted November 16, 2013 Posted November 16, 2013 I know how you're feeling. BU was 8 months ago, but the thought of him not wanting me still hurts. I still feel like he's the one, and I probably always will. Some days are better than others. He tried coming back to me in September, and when he found out he didn't want anyway I was already back at square one. Now I have to start over and it seems like I'm in the first months of the BU. Hope it'll get better one day, but I guess I'll never forget the feeling of meeting the one. 1
Author Omei Posted November 16, 2013 Author Posted November 16, 2013 I am glad to hear that. Mine has been steady and constant. Mainly cause I broke NC this week and it sucked. So mass pain has been daily. You give me hope though. On side note is that Kenshin? I've seen Kenshin but idk if it is I have never known who the characters are here I just picked the picture because I was in love and they looked lovely! If you ment my icon. Sass at least he wanted too oh I'd give anything to tell me my to go away at this point in he never once looked back. I would say so far this is the first time I was the one dumped and the first time a guy hasn't looked back, what they say about dumpers are true they leave because they can and were over it before it even ended.
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