Ex text me. Long story

[Jmk21]

Me 25 her 29 together 2 1/2 years. We split in August due to me not giving enough and her always talking to her ex and letting guys hit on her. I left her for good reason, she literally stopped coming to see me and i caught her up in some small lies.but after the BU she called everyday afterwords wanting to hang out and talk still like the breakup didnt happen, how much she loved me yadda yadda, I said I want to work on our problems because we never really have and i didnt leave because i didnt love you. she agreed and a week later that's when she started this idk I just need time/space lets just be friends. Typical talk when there's a third party involved. I instantly panicked because I was now the fish on the hook. Cried,pleaded just flat out wouldnt give up hope.

 

About 2-3 weeks post BU I found out she had been sleeping eith somebody since god knows when, she swears she never cheated but I find it hard to believe. Cheating just isn't the physical realm for me. Once I found that out I told her off, made my peace and went quiet even wishing her the best. Albeit the convo got pretty heated but my emotions were so raw. Instantly I went NC

 

The next 3 weeks I don't hear a peep from her. Then Saturday I get this text:

"I know you don't want to talk to me but I just wanted to say thank you again for all the thoughtful sweet things you did, I still think of them and you. Hope you are well."

I sat in this for 3 days. She reached out before but with one liners that didnt even rate a reply so I never did. All she kept offering was friendship after the BU

 

The rest of the convo went as such:

I don't understand you anymore. Why are you still reaching out to me

 

Her:Even though things didn't work out with us, you don't spend 2.5 years with someone and not still care about their wellbeing. You will always have a place in my heart and id like us to be friends but I know that's not an option in your mind. I just wanted to see how you were...

 

Me:I'd appreciate it if you just leave me alone and let me move on

Her:Ok...I'm sorry..I'm having my car worked on and your socket wrench taken out so I was gonna give it back to you

Me:Being friendly and being friends are two entirely different things. Someone who would hang their balls out there like I did at the end probably can't be friends anytime soon so please don't push that on me anymore. When the day comes that I can see/feel with complete indifference then a friendship may be in the future. My life is good when I don't think about you anymore

 

Her:Ok I understand. Everything you did for me was wonderful and I'm really sorry to cause you so much pain. I only want your happiness and I'm glad you are doing good.

Me:Ok I'm glad you get it. Cut your losses and move on ok. You know how I am with every ex I've ever had. Your no different now

Her:I see...but please know you are still in my thoughts and I just want to know you are ok. Ill leave you be...

Me:You lost that privilege to check up on me and see how I am. Stop looking back

Her:Alrighty then...sorry that I still care

 

So why the fkkk try to be friends right after the breakup. I do NOT understand. I've never befriended an ex. Am I friendly to the ones after a significant time has passed, you bet but her pushing this in my face just pisses me off. Like hey look at me I don't feel any heartbreak. Our relationship failed, I have a new bf but here's a consolation prize for friendship /end rant

[Chi townD]

Dude, next time. Just stick to NC. You said it yourself, the last conversation you had with her was heated and you got everything out there for the last time.

 

Now, you're talking to her on text. The only thing it did was knock you back a few pegs in your healing process and it allowed her to forgive herself for all the sh*t she put you through.

 

You can tell that in her last text, "Alrighty then, sorry that I still care."

She's making herself out to be the caring and compassionate one. and with all your harsh texts; she's thinking to herself, "Wow! What a douche bag! I'm glad to be rid of him. Oh well, I tried!" BAM! She just forgave herself.

 

Let her hold onto her guilt.

[Jmk21]

I know I never should of replied but the things she referred to was the things I did during the first weeks of the BU. like painted a huge sunset/beach/palm trees in her driveway when I had a day off/ made a huge picture collage of the **** we did together. I dont know why shes thanking me. She was so cold and weird it was like i didnt even know who she was. Trust me I tried to salvage it but I realized I was on my way to a very dark place. From here on out I'm NC again. i was 40+ days strong :-) and I hope it stays that way on her end.

 

I did have a feeling she was trying to alleviate some guilt because she truly is a compassionate and good person. Just dunno how somebody just turns their back like that on a relationship then Complains I turn my back on her. Jeeze

[2fargone]

She might not know either. And thats why you have to stick to NC, so she can either find out or move on.....

 

 

I'm pretty sure in these kind of situations it's not really a deliberate thing. Even though thinking so might be easier on yourself...

[me85]

You think you know someone...you really don't.

[Jmk21]

The weird thing is, her brother text me the day before and we never talked anymore after the BU. Just seeing how I was doing and stuff. I figured he didn't want any bad blood or taking sides between us which is why he stayed out if it.

 

The BU hit me hard. I dropped my whole social circle and had to rebuild. It's slowly but surely getting back together, thought I had some decent friends there but nobody reached out to me after the BU and she started seeing one of the other guys in it.

 

Eh I still love her and always think about the old us, But I just don't want to anymore. Once a third party is involved I throw in the towel and get going. Never going to be somebody's option coming out of a ltr. Being replaced is a bitch but she isn't changing or growing from the relationship