I really fell for her, she didnt..

[GeorgesIsntAtHome]

Girl on the rebound, confused, gave her affection and attention, she sent me mixed signals, kiss and sleep with her, finally fall for her only to learn that not only it isnt mutual and I was only a band-aid after her Relationship but she was having feelings for some other guy who's in a comitted Relationship for 2 years and cheating on his gf with her..

 

Girl on a rebound, never again!

 

This Dude has the girl I went crazy over at his feet and plays with her like a toy

 

I really feel like crap and want to punch a hole in my wall right now

 

anybody had similar very pleasant experiences of unmutual attraction?

 

How do you move on and stop feeling like you're that worthless and pathetic friendzoned loser?

[Philosoraptor]

Just say "I'm a great person, just not a great fit for her". Compatibility, from her perspective, has zero to do with your worth.

[forgetmenot75]

that is a sh##ty situation for sure. I feel for you, I've been there, sadly.

 

Stop contacting her. Go no contact immediately. Move on.

[Mr.Mango]

I always just look at the pros and cons in a situation like that.

 

Cons: You don't get to go out with her.

 

Pros:

• She's a person who's cool with using you as rebound.
  
• She's seeing a guy who's actively cheating on his GF.
  
• Extremely likely to continue her bad behavior in the future.
  
• Unless you like to cheat yourself, you're obviously worth more to yourself than sticking in a situation like that.
  

 

Dunno, just a thought though .

[jba10582]

Yes, in fact a similiar experrience led me to realize that a lesson can be learned from this and that a better relationship will occur once you find yourself noticing the motivation this brings out in you to focus on the postive aspects about yourself and the value you bring to people.

[Johnson1]

If you have ever been in a relationship and tried really hard, and it was never quite good enough for your partner you have experienced this is a way that will have probably hurt. The other side is when you start to lose interest and put less effort in, which actually resulted in your partner trying EVEN HARDER themselves.

 

Put into simple terms people tend to chase the validation that seems just out of reach. The occassional reward keeps them chasing. The reward that comes easily (because you treat them well), is often taken for granted. This is why often the bad boy seems to win leaving the good guys feeling life is not fair.

 

Exactly! Even more simply put is to act aloof and play it cool like you don't care, but do something nice on occasion. A woman doesn't want a guy who's too clingy, but instead confident, and kinda uncaring. That's proven by the fact that most women are hottest for the guy that playfully busts their chops, treats them like crap, but gives them snippets of how great he can be. I've seen it so many times first hand just observing how girls respond to guys who act this way.

 

The worst thing in the world is to let a woman think that you need her. They see it as a sign of dependency and weakness, and someone they can walk all over. Be a loose cannon, a stallion that is a challenge for her to tie down. The thought that she could be dumped at anytime because you're someone in demand is what keeps her on her toes and hot for you.

 

Now all I have to do is practice what I preach. lol

Edited November 16, 2013 by Vocals5

[GeorgesIsntAtHome]

Yeah I've heard this song a million times, I know you guys are right, I just hate these stupid mind games, cause on the other hand you hear women whining CONSTANTLY about meeting a-holes, yet they keep going for these kind of careless guys.. how can so many women live this duality for so long before waking up and noticing the more quiet, more attentive guys ?

 

putting it into practice is much harder though, I know this is how it works and that you guys are right, but it was so hard not to do it with this one, I held NC for a whole 2 weeks after our last discussion, and couldnt anymore, I had to know, the feelings were so strong in the beginning and the situation so messed up that I needed reassurance every time... I'm glad I finally got closure in the end at least, maybe the fact that I communiucated too much is what pushed her away, but this is who I am, I cant keep things inside, maybe it wouldnt have changed a thing, maybe she stopped talking to me when she met the other dude, who knows..

 

now I dont talk to her anymore, it's hard, I just have to move on

 

Just wish I'd find an intelligent mature woman who's passed these cheap mind games..

Edited November 16, 2013 by GeorgesIsntAtHome

[lakerman34]

Nearly the same exact thing was happening with me.

 

Girl liked another guy, spent 2 whole months talking to me JUST for a one night stand, made it seem like something was going to come from it.

 

She played along for about a month afterwards, then she basically told me I was a one night stand and she didn't want a relationship with me because we "aren't compatible." I've never felt a deeper connection with anyone else.

 

Now, she tried to do the same thing to me in regards to another guy that she

fell EVEN HARDER for. I didn't fall for it. I told her to never talk to me again unless she wants to go on a proper date, and if there is another guy involved, I'll know.

 

These girls are immature and young, dude. Do you REALLY want a girl that isn't on your level, regardless of her good looks and intelligence? My girl was GORGEOUS and had an IQ of 150+. I never met a girl as cool as her. But, fact is, she is also incredibly full of herself, narcissistic, naive, insecure, and immature.

 

Trust me, I'm sure a lot of the same can be said about your girl. Don't waste your time, man. Moving on may be hard (it still is for me), but when one door closes, another opens up. I JUST got called by a girl (ironically, this girl's crush's ex -- she is unaware of my involvement) that wants FwB me, and then a GORGEOUS girl who I went on one date with already, and I'm asking her out on another date sometime this week.

 

Surround yourself with pretty, sane girls. It'll help.

[GeorgesIsntAtHome]

OP, don't stress. It's slim pickins' in the west, as far as sane, considerate, emotionally healthy women.

 

Just try to move on. Do you have any ways of meeting new girls?

 

of course I do, the only problem is that the girl I fell for knows many common friends, so I am bound to see her again at some point, or hear about her... I'll try to do my best to avoid that at least for the next few weeks or months

 

To top it off, she seriously sleeps around a lot, and admitted that she likes sex a lot... but right now because I'm the only guy who saw something else in her and was nice to her, I ended up suffering and I'm about the only person she wont sleep with lol..

 

I know I know she aint Worth it etc etc, but coping with the fact that you're the only person she doesnt really wanna see and wont sleep with cause you've been nice to her really makes me feel ****ty...

 

it may be immature or whatever you can call it but I'd like at least some revenge sex or to be around her and feel like she still wants me on some level!

 

I see guys that are around our friend group and keep thinking well she'd probably sleep with him but not me, that's as stupid as it is in my head right now, I'm trying to get rid of the feeling cause she aint Worth it but I was I was in love with her, aboutt he only one who didnt wanna sleep with her (thats what she told me that she liked at the beginning) and now I'm niothing to her, my self-esteem took a hit for sure

 

BTW i'm over the fact that we wont't ever be a couple, I'm just dealing with rejection now... meh

[mikecr50]

Leave her and never look back for whatever reason she doesn't respect you, thinks you'll be there at her beck and call. Been there, these women love having "orbiters" that way that don't have to look at themselves as the problem-all these guys won't leave me alone! Mentally immature, I had one of these turds tell me I was too nice, if treating someone how you'd like to be treated then whatever!

[GeorgesIsntAtHome]

Leave her and never look back for whatever reason she doesn't respect you, thinks you'll be there at her beck and call. Been there, these women love having "orbiters" that way that don't have to look at themselves as the problem-all these guys won't leave me alone! Mentally immature, I had one of these turds tell me I was too nice, if treating someone how you'd like to be treated then whatever!

 

Will do, and I Completely agree.. a few weeks ago I would have probably said nono shes not like that, but as time goes by I see exactly the girl you just described in her, everyday brings me closer to that feeling that she is not fit at all for a relationship and has wayy too many unresolved issues, I cared way too much for her and she was clearly not worth it, I even told her she was worth so much more than just a sex toy, but I'm really starting to think that she's proving me wrong..

 

and yes, all these guys "orbiting" around her who only want to sleep with her, it's cool cause thats what she wants too, now, but she told me many times that this isnt what she wants on the long run, she wants a family and everything, I told her she will have to make choices... I secretely hope that she will look back and realise how stupid she was to discard those who cared for her and saw more in her than a warm vagina... then again some people never learn

 

I doubt that she will age well, specially since she's 28, her 30s will probably hit her like a ciment truck, she might end up with some douche who doesnt care about her at all, it's sad but thats her problem, at some point I would have cared a lot more.. I still care too much for my taste, but everyday less and less

 

I know thats wrong, the right attitude will be to enventually wish her well in her life, I just cant find it in my heart right now, not after everything she has put me through, maybe in some future, but the best will be when she'll be out of my head completely..

Edited November 20, 2013 by GeorgesIsntAtHome

[Guitarisgood]

Charge this to the 'learn from your mistakes' account. So what have you actually learnt from this?

-don't get emotionally attached at least not until years down the track when you're comfortable farting in each others presence. Even then, be weary.

-girls will always do and say things that make absolutely no logic. but that is why they are girls and why you should never take anything to heart

-always have options and more options and even more options so that when one bails, you have others to fall back on and do not put all your eggs in one basket.

 

edit as I read your last post:

-don't get emotional yourself about everything and all this blasting her. you're a guy, get over it and move on. with age you improve. with age, she will not. thats why indifference always works over the guy that becomes needy.

[lakerman34]

Yeah, my girl was just telling me how she is practically caught in this love triangle and she has been in love with 3 guys for the past 4 years and can't get out of it. She told me she wishes who she was attracted to. She even implicitly told me that if she could control it, she'd probably date me, but it'd be unfair to me because she is stuck in this triangle.

 

I think there is a LEVEL of honesty there, but it's mostly BS.

 

We are orbiters. Lets stop being orbiters. In my case, I can still talk to her and keep my feelings detached now. I've graduated to that stage. I've been going on dates and haven't even THOUGHT of her. You'll be there someday soon too.

 

We had a heated conversation last night, but I think, ultimately, the point I got across was "I've got balls, and I'm not going to let you step on them anymore." I gave her A LOT to think about.

[GeorgesIsntAtHome]

Sounds like you and OP were dating girls with personality disorders.

 

If you call a confused person who lies with every breath and wont face who she really is personnality disorder, then yes... definitly

 

mine was having threesomes, foursomes, ****friends on a regular basis, I've been accidentally looking over her shoulder twice when we were seeing each other and she was texting someone about sex, then she accused ME of calling her a slut when I only implyed that she liked sex a lot.. not bad eh ?

[GeorgesIsntAtHome]

If you didn't fall for her had, maybe you could have had a threesome with 2 girls.

 

yeah..tought of that dont worry, thanks for reminding me how I was the good guy and also the loser in all this.. the only one who saw more than a warm vagina in her and ironically the one who's left out right now... I should have treated her like what she is right from the beginning

 

you live you learn

Edited November 20, 2013 by GeorgesIsntAtHome

[lakerman34]

yeah..tought of that dont worry, thanks for reminding me how I was the good guy and also the loser in all this.. the only one who saw more than a warm vagina in her and ironically the one who's left out right now... I should have treated her like what she is right from the beginning

 

you live you learn

 

Exactly dude. There is a word for girls like that.

 

Immature

 

I'm a man who adores this girl, is ONLY honest with her, wants to see her be successful, help her become successful, I'm good looking, and I'd rock her world in bed.

 

She knows all that.

 

Yet, she stays with the 3 little boys that jerk her around and are dishonest to her.

 

You and I are better than those kinds of girls. Time to move on.

 

Also, dude, NEVER, EVER, EVER call a girl you are trying to court a "slut." I called the girl out for liking 3 guys very respectively, and I could just sense her getting red in the face and bothered. Call her out, but me respectful about it, then never talk to her again. I think that'll keep you in their minds, and you can move on.

 

I even have the next conversation with my girl all planned out already. She'll contact me. She always does...

[GeorgesIsntAtHome]

Exactly dude. There is a word for girls like that.

 

 

Also, dude, NEVER, EVER, EVER call a girl you are trying to court a "slut." I called the girl out for liking 3 guys very respectively, and I could just sense her getting red in the face and bothered. Call her out, but me respectful about it, then never talk to her again. I think that'll keep you in their minds, and you can move on.

 

 

I love that, I did that in the most subtile way possible, even though I was pissed at her at some point, and she got mad pissed cause I supposedly made her look like a slut, ****, assume it when you uncontrollably flirt with EVERY decent looking person at every party you attend

 

I dont get why they get so pissed about something so obvious.. the odds made you a slut, not me

[lakerman34]

I love that, I did that in the most subtile way possible, even though I was pissed at her at some point, and she got mad pissed cause I supposedly made her look like a slut, ****, assume it when you uncontrollably flirt with EVERY decent looking person at every party you attend

 

I dont get why they get so pissed about something so obvious.. the odds made you a slut, not me

 

How old are you and the girl?

 

I find that this could mean one or two things. One, she's very comfortable about her sexuality, or two, she's insecure.

 

My girl flirts with every guy, but it's more unconscious than she thinks. I know that she isn't the type to get screwed by any guy that looks at her. She has A LOT of self-respect. BUT, she's only 21, so she is going thru A LOT of the issues that younger girls go through. The fact that I'm a guy that's honest to her, good looking, cares DEEPLY for her, shares the same interests as her, never lies or plays games with her, shares the same morals, ambitions and world views as her, and helps her see things in different ways doesn't matter. This whole thing of "challenge" that these 3 guys give her, being dishonest and childish around her, is what she sees as "attractive" in her 21 year old mindset. She is even AWARE of it and hates herself for it.

 

All we can do is say "when you're ready for a man, you give me a call, but I'm not guaranteeing that I won't be taken by then. Later, dude."

[mikecr50]

Good going guys! Whenever you breakup and they want to remains friends that means they want you to be an orbiter-never! They'll never respect you! Just say next! And be glad you got away and remember what you've learned from them. They have the problem.