love1336x Posted November 15, 2013 Posted November 15, 2013 (edited) My bestie whom I known since I was 15 years old. (i'm 23) Join the U.S air force about two years ago. She has become very buddy, buddy with a man who is also in the air force. She has told me in the past year and six months of knowing this man. She has talk A LOT about me, and simply thought, "perfect" match for me. I am currently talking to him..., and well my best friend knows me well... He's funny, he's sweet and, he's VERY smart. She's tells me he is very loyal... and a lot of good things about him. I'm a little worry... you know? North Dakota, I have google a bit. It's a 3 day ride. Airplane tickets are pretty costly too. Has anyone here had such long distance relationship? How did it start? Are you still currently with the person? How did it end? Do you think it's worth it for the "love"? Can you truly become smitten with talks on the phone, or video chat? Edited November 15, 2013 by love1336x 1
d0nnivain Posted November 15, 2013 Posted November 15, 2013 I'm not a big fan of relationships that begin on line & only exist there but since this guy comes with a stamp of approval from your bestie, you should keep the lines of communication open. I did an LDR a long time ago before cellphones & the internet. I was on the east coat near NYC & he was in California. Some people say that starting off with all the distance actually strengthens the relationship because you are forced to connect on other levels besides physical in the begining. What do you have to lose by communicating with this guy? Perhaps hold off on the I love yous or the exclusivity until you can work out the logistics. 1
Author love1336x Posted November 15, 2013 Author Posted November 15, 2013 I did an LDR a long time ago before cellphones & the internet. I was on the east coat near NYC & he was in California. How long did it last? So, you met in person first, then you or your other left?
d0nnivain Posted November 15, 2013 Posted November 15, 2013 I'd known him for about 4 years before we started dating. We dated for about a year before he moved. The relationship lasted another 1.5 years. We wrote snail mail letters every day. We talked on the phone once per week for about an hour (long distance was expensive back then, not part of your cell phone plan). We got to see each other for 1-2 weeks every 3 months. We didn't break up because of the distance. We broke up because he developed a drinking problem. 1
thinkingofhim Posted November 15, 2013 Posted November 15, 2013 I don't think it's a bad idea as long as you two make plans to get together. After all you never know where you might find love, you just have to keep your heart open to all the possibilities! I think you should go for it, what's the worst that can happen? 1
ThisGal Posted November 15, 2013 Posted November 15, 2013 (edited) Has anyone here had such long distance relationship? How did it start? Are you still currently with the person? How did it end? Do you think it's worth it for the "love"? Can you truly become smitten with talks on the phone, or video chat? Just curious, how old is he? Has your friend ever dated him or had a crush on him? Anywho to answer your questions: Has anyone here had such long distance relationship? -Mine is 12 hours drive, different states. How did it end? Do you think it's worth it for the "love"? -Still going, we are figuring things out. It's worth it for me. If genuine feelings are there, why not just meet up and see where it goes from there? No unrealistic expectations, just two people who are really into each other meeting for the first time to see what happens. Just don't rush anything, let nature take its course. Can you truly become smitten with talks on the phone, or video chat? -Yes, I don't see why not...feelings can develop no matter how you meet the other person. Be it in person, online, or over the phone. People are people and we form emotional bonds. Anyway, have him pay for the flight. He has a stable career in the military, he can surely pay to fly you out or pay his flight to come visit you in NYC (this is the best route as you would remain in safe, familiar grounds when he visits you because no matter how well you think you know him, or how much good things your friend has to say about him he is still a stranger to you, so allow him to come to you!). If he can't fully pay the flight ticket then go dutch, you pay half, he pays half. Keep us updated. GL! Edited November 15, 2013 by ThisGal
nomadic_butterfly Posted November 16, 2013 Posted November 16, 2013 (edited) My bestie whom I known since I was 15 years old. (i'm 23) Join the U.S air force about two years ago. She has become very buddy, buddy with a man who is also in the air force. She has told me in the past year and six months of knowing this man. She has talk A LOT about me, and simply thought, "perfect" match for me. I am currently talking to him..., and well my best friend knows me well... He's funny, he's sweet and, he's VERY smart. She's tells me he is very loyal... and a lot of good things about him. I'm a little worry... you know? North Dakota, I have google a bit. It's a 3 day ride. Airplane tickets are pretty costly too. Has anyone here had such long distance relationship? How did it start? Are you still currently with the person? How did it end? Do you think it's worth it for the "love"? Can you truly become smitten with talks on the phone, or video chat? This is such a cute story!! I hope it works out! Imagine how awesome the story will be to tell future children! :-). Keep us posted with an update. I think it's different when at least a bestie who knows you inside out tells you this. That holds A LOT of weight. The guy I like couldn't come to the States for now b/c of visa complexities so he diplomatically had his best friend hang out with me since he was coming to my neighborhood anyway. So I'm hanging with the bestie, having a blast b/c we have tons in common (and of course he is a direct reflection of the guy I like). The bestie knew about me but didn't connect the dots until I divulged certain things LOL. So after I told him all the details he was like "OOOOOooo so you're the girl!! No wonder he told me to tell him EVERYTHING!" Well I really hit it off with the bestie and apparently he had nothing but nice things to say and even told me afterwords via text "OMG I'm freaking out; I had soooo much fun with you!" After that we set a date for me to see the guy I like in the coming months. I think it set his mind at ease A LOT to know his best friend thinks I am suitable b/c we've been "friends" for almost a year and met online LITERALLY as my mouse hovered over the "delete profile" button. I completely forgot to a year prior when I went on my online dating hiatus to delete that specific one. Only time will tell if it was fate lol. You can very well be smitten but depending on what you are looking for, ask questions with depth. Not just superficial questions that cannot truly gauge compatibility. Be more practical and less emotional.We both agreed that not meeting in person first forced us to forgo the physical to really foster a solid intimate friendship. I wont go as far as saying "love" b/c without meeting that would be way too presumptuous in my book but we hit it off more than I ever expected (if he's been 100% truthful). I honestly initially thought I'd just "kill time on my hands" talking to him but we ended up having more in common past, present, and future ambitions than anyone else we'd met previously. It's so bizarre. Meet as quickly as you can though; I had times where I couldn't handle the distance (he was already "supposed to be here") and I told him to give me a call when he's in my neighborhood b/c I can't cope. We didn't talk for a few months at my suggestion and then I emailed him to ask how is his visa case progressing and we really missed each other. I have gone on a few local dates recently (he claims he hasn't) but I have yet to find the same level of connection. I'm taking my wise friend's sage advice and not go on anymore dates until we meet in a few months (specific date is set). But anyway only when we meet will we truly know if we can/should give "us" a shot. Edited November 16, 2013 by nomadic_butterfly 1
Author love1336x Posted November 18, 2013 Author Posted November 18, 2013 Just curious, how old is he? Has your friend ever dated him or had a crush on him? He's 21. She is a lesbian. He did have a BIG crush on her, until she told him... however... he still did try to chase her to see maybeeeee if he could have a chance... lol, but eventually he realize it was dead end cause!
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