it'smehello Posted December 23, 2004 Posted December 23, 2004 When I was younger I had anorexia in a large part because my parents put me on a scale and told me to go on a diet. they basically told me i was fat. I hated myself because of it and am very weird about my size around my parents. I have a guy who just graduated college in may with a CS degree that is intelligent but not too much above average. Knowing that some of his friends already have good computer jobs and he does not has my parents notice. they do not say much but i iknow they are waiting to see what he will do. THIS bothers the hell out of me. It has turned me into a monster just like the anorexia did. All of a sudden i know my bf will never live up to the high standard of living that we live in- work all the time, never stop. When i am not near my parents, i push my guy a little but i am happy knowing that one day he will get his job. But when i come home its like so matt hows the job search, it should be your priority. Keep in mind he does have a small IT job at an insurance agency and so he works 40hrs a week- where do you fit in interviewing? how many vaca days can you possibly take? point being, i hate my parents for caring about his job life. What the fudge cares- so i told my guy to stop talking about it with them. i hate it. its almost ruining the relationship. all because of this damn job/career thing. hes only 23, so what if hes not some amazing genius who has a job, like my 25 year old millionaire brother. i am sad.
tattoomytoe Posted December 23, 2004 Posted December 23, 2004 you need to move out and away from your parents......a little distance helps.
quankanne Posted December 23, 2004 Posted December 23, 2004 of this in life you can be assured: taxes, death and irritating family members. it'll be hard to do, but ya gotta start training yourself to ignore what bothers you about your family. You might not live up to their expectations, but I don't think any of us do when it comes to our families because often, their ideas about us and for us greatly differ from what we've got in mind! Instead focus on meeting your reasonably set goals and concentrate on being a happier person -- your brother's successes are important, but not as important to you as finding peace and contentment in your own life. as for your boyfriend, chances are, it probably doesn't drive him nuts when your family asks about his career. It could just be to him that they're asking straightforward questions and he's okay with that. If he's confident in himself, that kind of stuff isn't really going to bother him. And, if y'all are planning to become more serious (as in get married eventually), he's going to have to develop a kind of immunity to those things you find annoying about them. like I said before, family will always have certain expectations of you and for you, but that doesn't mean you've got to comply because you are your own person capable of making your own judgments simply because you know what you need out of life. best thing to do is learn how to smile and ignore -- that's what has helped me!
Recommended Posts