Lifeingeneral Posted November 15, 2013 Posted November 15, 2013 Hey im in my late 20's, mum of 3, ive recently broke up with my partner of 10yrs dueto having no feelings for him, yes i love him but the spark had gone and we have been more like friends the last 2yrs, sleeping in seperate beds, non exsistant sex ect ect Any who i meet this funny, gorgous man who i feel i have strong chemistry but hes playing hard to get. Ive made it clear im not after a relationship but wouldn't say no to some no strings fun. Hes been really hot and cold, kinda got annoyed and bitched at him about it and he amitted hes playing hard to get. This has really confused me, is he hoping with playing hard to get i will want a relationship with him cos he knows if he wants it (sex) im all for it (ive never been easy but after 10yrs in a relationship, some fun would be nice). Ok guys please explain to me why is he playing hard to get? I dont see the point of game playing- he knows i like him...
madjac74 Posted November 15, 2013 Posted November 15, 2013 A guy that plays hard to get? You didnt explain his situation....is he just coming out of a relationship? Is he a virgin? Is he gay? Does he like you but doesn't find you physically attractive?
Author Lifeingeneral Posted November 15, 2013 Author Posted November 15, 2013 A guy that plays hard to get? You didnt explain his situation....is he just coming out of a relationship? Is he a virgin? Is he gay? Does he like you but doesn't find you physically attractive? Hes recently single to, 3yr relationship, has 2 kids, hes 9yrs older. He finds me attractive- well he said he does and flirts like crazy when hes not all cold :/
madjac74 Posted November 15, 2013 Posted November 15, 2013 ok! Recently single after a long term relationship = he is nervous about being with a new girl. Maybe not the case but I experienced this after my divorce. I tried to stay manly but honestly I was just too nervous to perform.
Author Lifeingeneral Posted November 15, 2013 Author Posted November 15, 2013 That actually makes perfect sense! Cos we have messaged each other and hes put tickets on himself about how he is in bed Btw we have meet up 3 times just to chat, no pressure, we get along really well. Lastnight we went out for dinner, and he dropped me off and i asked for a kiss cos he wasn't making any moves :/ he said no not on a first date (the 2 other times were just quick 10min meet ups), i said i dont care and have him 3 pecks. He never messaged me after but today i had to ask him something about a friend and thats when i asked why is he being so odd with me- he said he playing hard to get with at the end grrrr men lol Sorry this is my first forum so sorry if my response is all over the place. I kind of write what im thinking without double checking
madjac74 Posted November 15, 2013 Posted November 15, 2013 Well if you like him then the sex shouldn't matter. Dont pressure him because it will only make things more difficult for him. Not sure why he was scared to kiss you though other than he was worried it would lead to other things
Author Lifeingeneral Posted November 15, 2013 Author Posted November 15, 2013 My prob clearly was i thought he was keen to fool around but his hot/cold game playing, i was taking it personally and feeling rejected. Least now i know he likes me, im just going to back off and let him do his thing, if it happens it happens. I have a horrible habit of reading into things. Im not really in the mood to play the hard to get game, i feel im too old for it and i have only dated one person my whole life, if he hadn't told me he was playing hard to get i would of kept getting more annoyed. Tbh its really off putting. I dont see the point in game playing with someone who doesn't want a relationship
madjac74 Posted November 15, 2013 Posted November 15, 2013 If you really want to press him to be honest then you could say you arent looking for hard to get in this stage in your life.
Author Lifeingeneral Posted November 15, 2013 Author Posted November 15, 2013 If you really want to press him to be honest then you could say you arent looking for hard to get in this stage in your life. I kind of have already said that with letting him know I'm not after a relationship. I just wanted to be friends with benifits without the crap inbetween. He may even enjoy the thrill of the chase? But from a 38yr old bloke? Seem pointless... Btw thankyou so much for helping me clear my head, this was driving me insane
Ninjainpajamas Posted November 15, 2013 Posted November 15, 2013 Any knuckle-head knows that when women say that they still almost without failure will still develop feelings and then suddenly flip the script and become emotionally invested....especially the amount you already like this guy. So he's a wise guy if that's why he's not taking the bait...also you've got 3 kids, he's got 2, probably not the best person in the world to be messing around with since you've got little ones...maybe he doesn't want some drama with that or doesn't want to take the risk at bringing in number 4 on "accident". At any rate, he's not playing hard to get as much as he's just not that into you...I don't know why women like you think this is some kind of game, the guy said no and you keep pursuing him, and he probably throws you a bone every now and again for entertainment...if you were not interested in playing games then you'd have just walked away when he said he wasn't interested instead of continuing to try and "convince" said man...you're doing the same dumb ***** as he's doing, you can walk away at any time you know and not play "games", stop the confusion all on your lonesome...now wouldn't that be a miracle?
madjac74 Posted November 15, 2013 Posted November 15, 2013 No I think the fact that it is an older guy and just out of a relationship, he is just scared of the fact that you are sexually driven. And you are welcome. I don't have all the answers. i am just speaking from my experiences.
Author Lifeingeneral Posted November 15, 2013 Author Posted November 15, 2013 Any knuckle-head knows that when women say that they still almost without failure will still develop feelings and then suddenly flip the script and become emotionally invested....especially the amount you already like this guy. So he's a wise guy if that's why he's not taking the bait...also you've got 3 kids, he's got 2, probably not the best person in the world to be messing around with since you've got little ones...maybe he doesn't want some drama with that or doesn't want to take the risk at bringing in number 4 on "accident". At any rate, he's not playing hard to get as much as he's just not that into you...I don't know why women like you think this is some kind of game, the guy said no and you keep pursuing him, and he probably throws you a bone every now and again for entertainment...if you were not interested in playing games then you'd have just walked away when he said he wasn't interested instead of continuing to try and "convince" said man...you're doing the same dumb ***** as he's doing, you can walk away at any time you know and not play "games", stop the confusion all on your lonesome...now woulgdn't that be a miracle? Good points- this is were i was seeing it from also, im all new to this and i honestly hadn't thought of the- what if i fall head over heels from him. Im over analysing it which i honestly shouldn't be. Btw i wont be having anymore kids- i have 3 wonderful children to my ex who is an amazing father- all 3 where planned no mistakes- i dont believe in.. Oh it just happened lol Any who back on subject- i think it would be best if i walk way because i really shouldn't be worried about something like this. I already know i want to be single and find who i am- after being in a relationship since 16, now 28, i want to find me I have a high sex drive... I will get myself a bob if i have to hehe Thanx for your input
health Posted November 24, 2013 Posted November 24, 2013 Does your Ex know you're dating so fast out the marriage? How's he taking this?
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