LovelyLamb Posted November 15, 2013 Posted November 15, 2013 Tonight I went out with my coworker that I've liked for a while now. We went to the movies (he paid) then went out for drinks later (split check) and had a fun time. I was planning on telling him at some point tonight that I have feelings for him, but the moment never felt right, so now I'm kicking myself. I'm thinking about texting him that I have feelings for him, but I've never advocated for it in the past, and I'm not sure if I'll regret it later on. Right now it feels like the right thing to do - we just said goodbye, he told me he doesn't have much luck with girls - so I feel like I should. You know, get it off my chest, put it out there, let him make the next move since I asked him out tonight. Thoughts?
memo15mx Posted November 15, 2013 Posted November 15, 2013 Tonight I went out with my coworker that I've liked for a while now. We went to the movies (he paid) then went out for drinks later (split check) and had a fun time. I was planning on telling him at some point tonight that I have feelings for him, but the moment never felt right, so now I'm kicking myself. I'm thinking about texting him that I have feelings for him, but I've never advocated for it in the past, and I'm not sure if I'll regret it later on. Right now it feels like the right thing to do - we just said goodbye, he told me he doesn't have much luck with girls - so I feel like I should. You know, get it off my chest, put it out there, let him make the next move since I asked him out tonight. Thoughts? I think it would be better if you tell him face to face. It´s always nice to hear that from someone. Don´t wait for a special moment. Any moment is special when somebody tells you that he/she likes you
mortensorchid Posted November 15, 2013 Posted November 15, 2013 I wouldn't. Wait. If you have not heard from him within the first 24-48 hours after you have had your get together (and you said he was a coworker so it must be as something non-work related), then he will be a friend. He more or less said to you that he doesn't feel confident or secure with women from his past. I'm here to tell you that if he does not change his mind on this now that he has met you, he will not change it because or for you. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but these are facts.
kassy Posted November 15, 2013 Posted November 15, 2013 Why go there telling him you like him. Why not just say next time you see him around that you had fun and if he wants to do it again sometime to let you know
winny Posted November 15, 2013 Posted November 15, 2013 Was this a date? I mean .. had you made it clear to him that you are asking him out on a date and not as a friend?
Author LovelyLamb Posted November 15, 2013 Author Posted November 15, 2013 I asked him to go to the movies, and I left it up to his interpretation of whether it was a date or not. Due to his lack of making a move (other than paying for the movie), I didn't say anything. I truly don't want to ruin our friendship, so in a way I don't think I should say anything; both now or later on. I think it may just be the alcohol talking that says "tell him that you like him!" My friends have told me I should just text him, but my gut says that I won't appreciate my actions in the morning. I sent him a text thanking him for a fun time tonight, but no response yet from that. He's probably asleep though. He sleeps a lot.
winny Posted November 15, 2013 Posted November 15, 2013 From my experience, I would say it is easy to be clear and be turned down than to not know whats happening. I think you really really like this person. And you also have spent a lot of time with him. Why don't you ask something like - Hey we have spent so much time together, what would you say if I suggest we go on an actual date? I really have a great time with you always and would like to know if there is an opportunity of being something more than just friends... If you are not comfortable with this idea... I would completely understand... But if you feel we can go on a "date" then please let me know. Something like this... may not be the exact words... This tells that you are open to an option but not pushing for anything. It shows you as cool and confident and someone who dares to take a risk but is not desperate. If he accepts to go out on a date... let him lead from then on... If he doesn't, you have already made it clear that it is completely fine... so no awkwardness... There is nothing wrong in liking someone and letting them know the same. The right person will appreciate it 2
greenfairie Posted November 15, 2013 Posted November 15, 2013 If you two speak different languages then sure. But if not, tell him face to face youll be OK. Good luck!
Author LovelyLamb Posted November 15, 2013 Author Posted November 15, 2013 From my experience, I would say it is easy to be clear and be turned down than to not know whats happening. I think you really really like this person. And you also have spent a lot of time with him. Why don't you ask something like - Hey we have spent so much time together, what would you say if I suggest we go on an actual date? I really have a great time with you always and would like to know if there is an opportunity of being something more than just friends... If you are not comfortable with this idea... I would completely understand... But if you feel we can go on a "date" then please let me know. Something like this... may not be the exact words... This tells that you are open to an option but not pushing for anything. It shows you as cool and confident and someone who dares to take a risk but is not desperate. If he accepts to go out on a date... let him lead from then on... If he doesn't, you have already made it clear that it is completely fine... so no awkwardness... There is nothing wrong in liking someone and letting them know the same. The right person will appreciate it I really like this advice I don't know if I have the balls to pull it off, but I think it's a great idea, and I can definitely see myself doing it if I do decide to flat out ask him on a date. Another idea: In a couple of weeks, I'll be apartment sitting for a couple of friends while they go on a cruise since they have two little doggies that I can't bring to my house that I'm going to watch. They live a few minutes from him, and they know about my feelings and my female friend has suggested inviting him over one night (minus any funny business in their bed). Part of me thinks I should invite him over then and let him know then when it's just him and me (and an escape would be easy for him if things get awkward). But, I don't know.
Author LovelyLamb Posted November 15, 2013 Author Posted November 15, 2013 If you two speak different languages then sure. But if not, tell him face to face youll be OK. Good luck! Sending him a message in a different language that he'd have to translate...that's a great idea! Thank you for the well wishes!
bumpyroad Posted November 15, 2013 Posted November 15, 2013 Tonight I went out with my coworker that I've liked for a while now. We went to the movies (he paid) then went out for drinks later (split check) and had a fun time. I was planning on telling him at some point tonight that I have feelings for him, but the moment never felt right, so now I'm kicking myself. I'm thinking about texting him that I have feelings for him, but I've never advocated for it in the past, and I'm not sure if I'll regret it later on. Right now it feels like the right thing to do - we just said goodbye, he told me he doesn't have much luck with girls - so I feel like I should. You know, get it off my chest, put it out there, let him make the next move since I asked him out tonight. Thoughts? No to both of the questions. 1. It's too early on - you run the risk of looking like a bunny boiler. 2. Don't do it by text - you run the risk of looking childish.
Author LovelyLamb Posted November 15, 2013 Author Posted November 15, 2013 No to both of the questions. 1. It's too early on - you run the risk of looking like a bunny boiler. 2. Don't do it by text - you run the risk of looking childish. I slept off my desire to text him. I'm very thankful I didn't give into the urge. 2
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