Date's friend appears at end of first date, but she seems to want to go out again

[lonesta]

So I want to keep this fairly simple.

 

I asked a girl on a casual date. Leadup is that I had asked her out to a couple group things before but she had legit reasons that she couldn't go, although I was a bit put off by the fact she didn't suggest anything else. Saw her again randomly a few days later, we resume flirting a bit so I start it up again. I ask her if she wants to go out and play pool, she agrees readily. I kept it pretty casual because I wanted to see if she'd be interested as we have a lot of mutual friends and I don't want to come on too strong.

 

I thought things were going great at first. However halfway through these two guys joined us for doubles and they took over the entire conversation and wouldn't shut up, so that threw me off. Then towards the end of the night she says her friend might come join us. The friend came in towards the end of the date, and at that point I figured I was being friendzoned.

 

However at the end of the date she suggested we get together again this weekend...I think she might have offhandedly said I'll hit you up but I can't remember. Then an hour after the date she texted me again "Tonight was fun! Let's play again this weekend :)". So of course I replied positively.

 

I have no idea if the friend was just in the area and needed to crash at her place, or what the circumstances were surrounding that. It seemed that her friend had been out at some party, and was crashing at her house. Or she could have called the friend to come over to signal it wasn't a Date. But why do that and then twice say let's do it again this weekend? (especially over text, which doesn't just "accidentally" come out to be polite)

 

I haven't heard from her yet, it's been 1.5 days...one friend says wait and see if she initiates contact, the other friend says I should initiate. The problem is that I keep initiating and it's making me uneasy. It seems positive but is she just being friendly or what? (we met as friends first).

 

Normally I'd put it out there again and that's my inclination here (and I probably will try again) but gosh if this isn't frustrating. I hate feeling like I'm chasing someone down :/

[d0nnivain]

Since your 1st few asks were group things, she might not have seen the difference which is why she didn't discourage her friends' intrusion.

 

She may have also asked them there for safety. When I was OLD, sometimes my friends would be in the area, just in case.

 

If she's keen to go out again, ask her. To avoid a repeat make a joke about whether the friends will or won't be there.

[lonesta]

Thanks for the response. FYI we met each other in real life through mutual friends.

 

I hit her up again on Thursday asking how her week was going, what she was up to that weekend. Turned out Thursday night she had gotten super drunk at some work event and so she responded to my last text about what she was up to that wknd after I had fallen asleep. It was a 2 hour delay but she suggested that we go do what we had originally talked about before. So it was her suggestion. I woke up to the texts, but waited to respond until a little later in the am (didn't want to respond at 7am). She texted me again in the a.m. before I could respond, saying that she had gotten so drunk that night. So it seemed that she definitely still wanted to connect because it was a double text from her end trying to get in touch. We bantered back and forth for a while then I suggested we go out on Sat night. She was into it, and seemed really excited.

 

Last minute, an hour before I get there, she asks me if I want to go to this movie that a bunch of our mutual friends were going to. She said it was totally up to me and that we could go do our original thing after. She seemed to really want to go so I said sure. However this totally threw me off my game! All I could think was that she just wasn't that excited to see *me* and hang out one on one, so my courage to flirt just went out the window, and I felt super awkward doing that in front of all our friends anyway. I felt like I was on display a little, even though I knew all the people.

 

The movie was over 3 hours and didn't get out till 11:30, and the group just went to get coffee after. I wasn't getting anything concrete from her as a sign of interest so my confidence just went further and further down the drain. As we were all saying goodbyes she told me that we would still have to do our original plan, and I agreed.

 

But I left feeling deflated. It's hard to put myself out there when I'm not getting the message my feelings are reciprocated. Am I just being too wimpy? Is the ball in her court now? I've done all the asking so far, and I feel a bit crazy to keep doing it now. If you looked at all our communication you would think she was totally interested. Even my friend seemed to think she was interested (she told me the girl kept looking at me/checking me out) when we were all hanging out at a party before I started asking her out.