StanMusial Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 My buddy is going through a rough time, he is separated and soon to be divorced. He wants to go out this weekend and try to meet some girls. I don't really have any interest in it since I am happy with my gf, but I want to help him out since he has helped me out in some ways in the past. I just want to introduce him to some girls and try to get him to break out of his funk. This guy married young before even leaving college, he's early 40's now. Frankly I think it would be like setting an animal bred in captivity into the wild, he is going to need someone to help him get his bearings. I am the only single guy in that particular circle of friends plus he knows I will talk to girls so he asked me to do this. Anyone have any thoughts on it? Link to post Share on other sites
Grumpybutfun Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 Stan: Did you talk to your gf about this? I think her opinion on the matter is what would count to me if I were you? Grumps 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author StanMusial Posted November 15, 2013 Author Share Posted November 15, 2013 Stan: Did you talk to your gf about this? I think her opinion on the matter is what would count to me if I were you? Grumps She knows about his situation, I told her I might take him out this weekend to cheer him up. She is fine with that, I didn't mention the "wingman" part. I asked her if she wanted to come out with us and she said she didn't want to cramp our style. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Imported Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 The absolute best wingman I have is a very happily married guy. He can fend off, dazzle and keep entertained anything. Absolutely great guy, has no confusion he loves his wife, handles people very well. I wish I was half as smooth as he is. No BS, no false promises, no leading on and all the girls are happily occupied by him. He never fails to keep the heat off for me when I go for what I want and gives back great support and really bolsters me up. He drinks for free! If only his wife would let him go out and play more. Just because you're a "wingman" for your friend doesn't mean you have to approach girls as well or feel obligated to do anything with them other than talk to them. I think for guys that are happily already with a girl and are not wanting anything, it's even easier because they have zero expectations hampering them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 The wingman is supposed to sit there, drink a beer & entertain the target woman's friends so the buddy can have a clear shot. As long as you are not ditching your GF every Friday, going once in a while & making polite conversation with a stranger in a public place is a nice thing to do for your friend. If you want to get your buddy off your back, ask your GF if she knows anybody she can fix him up with. Women love to play matchmaker. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 She knows about his situation, I told her I might take him out this weekend to cheer him up. She is fine with that, I didn't mention the "wingman" part. I asked her if she wanted to come out with us and she said she didn't want to cramp our style. She knows the score, looks like she is happy with your playing wingman. Link to post Share on other sites
Ninjainpajamas Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 You're not married Stan, you don't have to ask for permission to go out with your friends.....yet With that being said, it's important to let your SO know about it if you want to keep the peace...in which you did, and you have her blessing/trust. The reality is, this guy is 40 and been married all through his dating life...chances are high he has next to nothing in terms of "game" in the dating world, and is just exuberant and excited to take on this new world where he might actually be able to sleep with a woman he thinks is hot rather than just look at her (even if she is just an average looker)...of course more likely a reality in his imagination than in the real world. I don't know if he's a good looking guy, or got his stuff together but chances are he's going to crash and burn if he tries to hit the ground running with the ladies and he just needs some moral support...he might not even have high expectations, just needs some support to get out there so he can get his feet wet and the ball rolling. So I very much doubt your wingman services will be in dire need and put you in great danger, other than some encouragement as he does the 10 minute stare on a potential "victim" he's been targeting or just maybe help him break the ice and learn that it's as easy as just talking to people...without being overly nervous that is. I think because you are married/relationship and you are committed then you're a better wingman than someone who can be single, charismatic and selfish, drawing the attention to himself by knowing the whole song and dance to tantalize the ladies, making his buddy feel invisible...depends on how great you are with women yourself though. If you're good with the social dynamic, then it's obviously not going to really matter if you're taken or not, instead there's no expectations for yourself and you can just kick back and play the support role. And if you get yourself in trouble with a woman who's taken interest, just be a "nice guy" and overly available, that should scare her off. Or simply just say "Hey, I'm in a relationship already"...in which she may or may not care. Chances are though, the ladies aren't exactly going to be flocking at you two. Link to post Share on other sites
crederer Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 There's nothing wrong with being a wingman as long as you don't do anything bad. You just gotta talk him up a bit and keep the other girls party occupied. Also, bringing your gf along might even help you guys cause it takes a creepy factor out if it if another woman is with your crew. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author StanMusial Posted November 15, 2013 Author Share Posted November 15, 2013 The wingman is supposed to sit there, drink a beer & entertain the target woman's friends so the buddy can have a clear shot. As long as you are not ditching your GF every Friday, going once in a while & making polite conversation with a stranger in a public place is a nice thing to do for your friend. If you want to get your buddy off your back, ask your GF if she knows anybody she can fix him up with. Women love to play matchmaker. I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to do most of the work. I just want to introduce him to some girls and see if he can take it from there. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to do most of the work. I just want to introduce him to some girls and see if he can take it from there. From various posts of yours I have read in the short time I've been here, you seem like a level headed guy. If you are the one who is going to have to do all the work, I can see more about why you would feel uncomfortable because it will be less obvious that you are the wingman & the women may think you are on the prowl too. I'd still go out for a beer with your buddy. Be the classic wingman I described if the situation arises rather than the guy your buddy seems to want who directs women toward the two of you. Get your GF more involved to open up the buddy's pool of available women. Link to post Share on other sites
tom670 Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 If you aren't going to drink and be the dd, I would say fine this time. But if you are going to whoop it with him, I suggest she comes with because we all know are judgment goes in the crapper when drunk. Just saying if you have a good thing going with her why screw it up over something that could have been prevented. Link to post Share on other sites
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