starla33 Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 Went on a date with this one guy from online. It went really well. He hit me up after said that we get along great and that im hot etc etc which intimidated him a bit. He has not asked me out again....has texted a few times, but that was it. Am I doing it wrong? I don't get it.
d0nnivain Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 I don't think you are doing it wrong. People you met through OLD disappear all the time . . . I think they go to that place where the dryer sends that one sock it eats. 6
Author starla33 Posted November 14, 2013 Author Posted November 14, 2013 I don't think you are doing it wrong. People you met through OLD disappear all the time . . . I think they go to that place where the dryer sends that one sock it eats. Then why follow up and keep in touch ??? I'm getting very annoyed. So the players stick around, but the nice guys keep getting intimidated off?
gaius Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 Then why follow up and keep in touch ??? I'm getting very annoyed. So the players stick around, but the nice guys keep getting intimidated off? Could always gain 20 pounds and they might be less intimidated. I wish I could help further but I really can't. Nothing you've shared here strikes me as anything that would drive guys away. Maybe there's something we just don't know about though.
Zahara Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 Then why follow up and keep in touch ??? I'm getting very annoyed. So the players stick around, but the nice guys keep getting intimidated off? This is OLD. Sometimes they follow-up and keep in touch because they're working other women as well. Keeping all the options available and open. Did he tell you he was intimidated?
Author starla33 Posted November 14, 2013 Author Posted November 14, 2013 This is OLD. Sometimes they follow-up and keep in touch because they're working other women as well. Keeping all the options available and open. Did he tell you he was intimidated? yes he said it in his text after that i intimidated him a bit
Zahara Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 yes he said it in his text after that i intimidated him a bit Too bad. You can't cure him of his own insecurities. Maybe you make the next move?
Author starla33 Posted November 14, 2013 Author Posted November 14, 2013 Too bad. You can't cure him of his own insecurities. Maybe you make the next move? But I told him I had a good time too and we texted a bit the next day....so I don't get the issue.
Zahara Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 But I told him I had a good time too and we texted a bit the next day....so I don't get the issue. Maybe he's waiting for you to ask him out since he's intimidated. Are you finding it difficult to put yourself on the line and ask or do you believe he needs to chase/do all the asking?
Author starla33 Posted November 14, 2013 Author Posted November 14, 2013 Maybe he's waiting for you to ask him out since he's intimidated. Are you finding it difficult to put yourself on the line and ask or do you believe he needs to chase/do all the asking? I've had this pattern before and it never turned out well when I do the asking then they are not that interested. I would like a guy to at least ask out on the first 2 dates and then we can take turns.
Narcissistic Nobody Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 Went on a date with this one guy from online. It went really well. He hit me up after said that we get along great and that im hot etc etc which intimidated him a bit. He has not asked me out again....has texted a few times, but that was it. Am I doing it wrong? I don't get it. You didn't do anything wrong. Sometimes it happens that way...they analize things differently. I don't understand the fickleness of some guys. Just keep rockin you awesome self and the right one will come along. (that's what I keep telling myself anyway) 1
SweetCharity Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 I've had this pattern before and it never turned out well when I do the asking then they are not that interested. I would like a guy to at least ask out on the first 2 dates and then we can take turns. Sounds reasonable. It usually works better if the guys do the intitial chasing. Idk what to advise you though. I'm in a similar situation myself and have decided to just ask him out. Though...I'm the one intimidated so I'm terrified to. I'd say to just see ask him out and hear his response.
Author starla33 Posted November 14, 2013 Author Posted November 14, 2013 Sounds reasonable. It usually works better if the guys do the intitial chasing. Idk what to advise you though. I'm in a similar situation myself and have decided to just ask him out. Though...I'm the one intimidated so I'm terrified to. I'd say to just see ask him out and hear his response. i'm sure he would say yes...but honestly I want a guy that wont take charge this early on. I don't want to continue the pattern. Guys that are not that interested WILL usually say yes if you ask them out if they have nothing better to do.
Zahara Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 I've had this pattern before and it never turned out well when I do the asking then they are not that interested. I would like a guy to at least ask out on the first 2 dates and then we can take turns. The thing is, the guy isn't a mind reader to know what your dating expectations are. If you like him, ask him. If he's not interested, you can move on. If he isn't worth your time, then ignore his texts and continue to meet other people. Dating comes with the possibility of rejection. You have to be prepared for it. He could ask you out on the next 4 dates and then reject you. So what does it matter who does the first two two dates and then subsequently alternate?
StanMusial Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 I don't think you are doing it wrong. People you met through OLD disappear all the time . . . I think they go to that place where the dryer sends that one sock it eats. Call him up and ask him out, and tell him to bring your missing socks. 2
Author starla33 Posted November 15, 2013 Author Posted November 15, 2013 (edited) Its the nature of OLD. A lot of guys/girls don't have the guts to say they aren't interested either. yes but you do this by not talking after the date....not continuing to text. I didn't initiate it.... NO need to text me and say how great i am and how im hot and hes a little intimidated right? Edited November 15, 2013 by starla33
Author starla33 Posted November 15, 2013 Author Posted November 15, 2013 Sounds to me like he didnt really like you and was letting you down easy. Its the "its not you, it's me" thing. He was complimenting you on the way out so you didn't feel bad. umm and kept texting me for days after? lol this makes noooo sense he was def interested
Leigh 87 Posted November 15, 2013 Posted November 15, 2013 Let me tell you something I have learnt. A lot of guys can really like a girl. They can go on a date, think the woman looked fabulous, and text her after the date telling her how amazing she is. It happens all the time. It doesn't mean he is that into you. It takes that special something about a women to get some guys to want a second date. Good looks and a great date alone is not enough. Perhaps he did not feel the right chemistry. I have had guys intimitated by me; they had never had a slim women with large boobs before (all their exes were dumpy). They simply told me that hmm arent I out of their league, and then proceeded to date me and not be able to stop touching me since they are not used to a slim girl (they obviously never went after a women they were that attacted to before, it was blatantly apparant). Guys who are intimidated will still GLADLY go out with you again, and actually act all excited they get to be with you. It may take YOU asking him out again, if he is that intimidated; give him once chance, text him and set up a date. If he is not that interested after that, he will revert back to, well, fading out.......
Leigh 87 Posted November 15, 2013 Posted November 15, 2013 Stop paying attention to what people say and pay more attention to what they do. A guy who is into you will continually ask you out. If he doesn't, hes not that interested Also very few guys would avoid a girl they think is so hot they would be intimidated. If anything, theyd be kissing your ass. I remind the book "Hes Just Not That Into You" Yep, the guys who thought I was out of their league simply couldn't get enough of me and acted like the happiest guy on the planet at the times around me If a guy is like " wow, she has a banging body and is cute", he will just be all over you, if anything. Some guys drop the whole " hmm, you are a bit ouf of my league thing" if they are an average looking dude. Never had a guy like that NOT want me because they were too attracted. My recent ex was a few years older and he worried I would get stolen by another guy. He hated me hanging with male friends, since he knows I am very sexual. Still. Every guy that has thought I was that hot have all GLADLY dated me. Every one of them. The guys who think they are punching above their weight are the ones who DO want to date you a little more than guys who view you as easily attainable to them.
Author starla33 Posted November 15, 2013 Author Posted November 15, 2013 I do meet a lot of guys in RL but they aren't any better. This guy is actually not as hot as I usually go for. He said he really liked my company, if im not interested I just never respond and def don't text people and ask how their day is going which he did...
Author starla33 Posted November 15, 2013 Author Posted November 15, 2013 This is why I will never do OLD again. People are generally not held responsible for their actions. Most girls that I've met from the internet have had some kind of major problem. This mirrors many of my female friends' experiences with guys from there. (That's not to say that women don't have it better and easier on OLD) OP, why don't you meet guys IRL? If this is the case then I shouldn't have problems. I don't have any issues or personality disorders and im fun and look like my pictures
Author starla33 Posted November 15, 2013 Author Posted November 15, 2013 Yep, the guys who thought I was out of their league simply couldn't get enough of me and acted like the happiest guy on the planet at the times around me If a guy is like " wow, she has a banging body and is cute", he will just be all over you, if anything. Some guys drop the whole " hmm, you are a bit ouf of my league thing" if they are an average looking dude. Never had a guy like that NOT want me because they were too attracted. My recent ex was a few years older and he worried I would get stolen by another guy. He hated me hanging with male friends, since he knows I am very sexual. Still. Every guy that has thought I was that hot have all GLADLY dated me. Every one of them. The guys who think they are punching above their weight are the ones who DO want to date you a little more than guys who view you as easily attainable to them. Maybe he wants to be friends? I mean he's texting me for some reason
Leigh 87 Posted November 15, 2013 Posted November 15, 2013 I am sure he really did like you and thought you were very attractive. It isn't enough for some guys. It is sometimes out of our control.. The way we click with others, te way we are with people is sometimes nothing you can control or change. Sometimes the feelings you project out to the world, does not compel them to want to push on with dating you. It sounds bizarre, but not all desirable girls have every guy wanting to date them. I totally get that you are confused! It has happened to pretty much EVERY one; a guy has a date with us, it is awesome, he ACTS like he is VERY into you... then nothing. It happens to us all, and it is very bizarre! One minute they are acting super into you, the next.. poof! They are gone. Just accept this is a normal thing. Move along. Good luck:)
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