One week into relationship and I already want out?

[ddlovexx]

Hey guys... gonna try to keep it short and sweet.

 

Met him a few months ago, been seeing each other almost four weeks. I'm 22, he's 30... he asked me out a few times before I actually agreed. Hit it off great from the start- we laugh a lot and have fun, etc etc. I hadn't genuinely liked someone for a while and I really liked him. He's sweet and often makes me smile... but all of a sudden I'm kinda over it and I don't know what's going on.

 

We see each other every day or every other day usually. Last weekend I had said "well we haven't really talked about it but are we... um, together?" and he kinda just said "yeah... we can give it a shot." I didn't really like that answer and felt like he hadn't seem so enthused by the idea... I asked him and he said I just caught him off guard. Okay.

 

He doesn't really talk to me much during the day unless I text him first. I don't ask for much but I do like good morning/goodnight texts and maybe a "hey what're you up to/how's your day?" in the middle of the day. I don't mind doing the same but it seems as if I don't do it, then he doesn't.

 

Last night he told me to come over after work, so I did. He sat on his computer for an hour fixing up his resume (okay, no biggie there, but why wouldn't you just tell me to come later?) and then when we had sex, he didn't even kiss me and kinda just rolled over after. He's never done that previously and honestly I was confused and kinda felt like a piece of meat after that. This morning we woke up, kissed goodbye and went our separate ways for work. I personally find that pretty odd especially since the beginning stages of a relationship are usual the most exciting.

 

We have fun when we're together but I don't know, I'm kinda feeling like this isn't it. If it was right I probably wouldn't be having second thoughts, especially so soon. At first I felt special and as though he was really interested in me/liked me... but now I'm really not feeling so special or wanted, even though he says he likes me. Two of my friends said to give it another week and see how it goes/how I feel and I think that's probably a good idea. I am not even looking forward to see him anymore after what happened last night. I mean deep down I know what I want and deserve and I feel like a guy should be happy/lucky to be with me (and vice versa) and if he isn't, then why am I wasting my time? Is my gut instinct right?

 

Any input would be appreciated.

Edited November 14, 2013 by ddlovexx

[vtran31]

it's really up to you whether to revive this relationship. It takes two, and if he isn't invest (which he doesnt seem to be) you might be fighting some bad inertia:bunny:

[TigerCub]

Hey OP,

 

If you feel that this guy isn't as invested as you and isn't doing things to make you feel wanted and that he's interested in you - then definitely end it.

 

But, I have to make a comment about what you wrote here

"and then when we had sex, he didn't even kiss me"

 

I find that off - like why didn't you kiss him?

During sex do you just not do anything, and just respond to what a guy does?

[ddlovexx]

No, of course I tried to kiss him but he wouldn't initiate or would just tap kiss and that's it. It was weird for me... I'm a very sensual person and could spend an hour kissing before even getting down and dirty. We usual kiss more, that's why I'm like confused and I don't know....

[Phantom888]

You two are not compatible. If you are a sensual affectionate person and desires a partner who is just as affectionate, then he is not meeting your needs. Not a good match, since this is so early in the relationship. You gut is telling you what is good for you. You sense this is incompatibility. If you are having 2nd thoughts this early on, you know he's not right for you. Break up now and cut your losses.

[ddlovexx]

I guess, I just thought we were compatible. We crack each other up and at first he was more sensual than last night. Sigh. Gonna see how I feel in a few days but I think it's gonna come to an end.

[Neville107]

ddlovexx - forget this guy.

 

You scared him off with the "together" question. Judging by your photo, what you wrote, and confessing to be sensual - this guy's response should have been "Hell yes you're my girlfriend". By his answer, I'm guessing he has interest in someone else and that's why he belatedly said "We can give it a shot". Why the lack of enthusiasm to commit?

 

We can give it a shot? - WTF!! Forget this guy - he's using you.

 

Secondly, ladies, anytime a guy invites you somewhere and then doesn't pay attention to you - he's sending you a message: I'm just going through the motions/I really don't care.

 

A guy who cares for you will always be aware of your needs or at least ask if there is something you need.

 

Forget this guy and find someone who is equally as passionate as you - you deserve better

Edited November 14, 2013 by Neville107

[charlietheginger]

He is older passive non clingy.....

 

im the same way i dont wanna bother someone with alot of text or seem

overly pushy.... Its becuase he is older prob more like "ah if i have a girlfriend its cool

if not thats o.k"

 

If you need constant reasurement and feel like you need to be texted alot and need more

affection then you will have to find someone else...

[spiderowl]

People often say one thing and do another. It's best to pay attention to their behaviour not what they say.

 

It sounds like you are putting in more effort than him. Maybe back off a bit and let him realise you are worth putting in some effort for.

 

Pay attention to your feelings. How are you feeling about him, about the situation? Is that how you want to feel? If not, why are you putting up with him?

[Leigh 87]

ddlovexx - forget this guy.

 

You scared him off with the "together" question. Judging by your photo, what you wrote, and confessing to be sensual - this guy's response should have been "Hell yes you're my girlfriend". By his answer, I'm guessing he has interest in someone else and that's why he belatedly said "We can give it a shot". Why the lack of enthusiasm to commit?

 

We can give it a shot? - WTF!! Forget this guy - he's using you.

 

Secondly, ladies, anytime a guy invites you somewhere and then doesn't pay attention to you - he's sending you a message: I'm just going through the motions/I really don't care.

 

A guy who cares for you will always be aware of your needs or at least ask if there is something you need.

 

Forget this guy and find someone who is equally as passionate as you - you deserve better

 

 

Yes, he may just not be that into her. OR, there is a chance this guy is just a passionless type of guy, of is pretty indifferent to emotional dealings with people.

 

It may not be that he just isn't that into her.

 

He may just be like this. In whic case, the OP and her guy are not compatible.

 

OP, he is either not that into you OR he is not the type of guy you want, even though he is genuinely interested in you.

 

DON'T give it another week. You KNOW what you want. You KNOW he is not giving it to you.

 

You should find a guy who will kiss you a lot, who will invite you over and give you hs individed attention and wo is ROMANTIC and lovely to you.

[ddlovexx]

ddlovexx - forget this guy.

 

You scared him off with the "together" question. Judging by your photo, what you wrote, and confessing to be sensual - this guy's response should have been "Hell yes you're my girlfriend". By his answer, I'm guessing he has interest in someone else and that's why he belatedly said "We can give it a shot". Why the lack of enthusiasm to commit?

 

We can give it a shot? - WTF!! Forget this guy - he's using you.

 

Secondly, ladies, anytime a guy invites you somewhere and then doesn't pay attention to you - he's sending you a message: I'm just going through the motions/I really don't care.

 

A guy who cares for you will always be aware of your needs or at least ask if there is something you need.

 

Forget this guy and find someone who is equally as passionate as you - you deserve better

 

You are wonderful. And Leigh, your addition was great too.

 

He hasn't talked to me at all today and hasn't invited me over, so what am I wasting my time for? He's not as great as he was in the beginning and that's that.

 

Believe it or not I've never really had to break up with someone so I think I'm anticipating the actual action, not the fact that he'll be gone. Both of my exes cheated and kinda left me high and dry. I'm just dreading meeting and ending it... so not good at this stuff.

 

Thanks a lot everyone!

[forgetmenot75]

I'd say: next!

This guy sounds like a jerk. Honestly. I felt like a piece of meat before and is truly horrible. there is no come back after that.

He let you waiting one hour while he was fixing his pc: you're a doormat

 

Delete, delete, delete this guy from your life. You are cute (if its you in the pic), why are you letting a guy treat you like crap?

[Grumpybutfun]

ddlovexx:

It is always smart to listen to your gut. The things you mention him doing isn't something a man does if he is genuinely interested in a woman. The lack of kissing is a red flag...he is making your sex impersonal. Also, ignoring you to do a resume after inviting you over is rude, imho.

Move on,

Grumps

[ChessPieceFace]

You have sex before even being actually official, then wonder why things are going wrong. HMMMMM.

[Lansing]

I think you should consider why you feel a need of constant communication! Personally I would be turned off by a girl that felt like she needed a good morning/good night/how's your day going each and every day. You guys are seeing each other every dayor every other day, talk then! Although, personally I think you are seeing each other too much too for the early stages.

[ddlovexx]

First of all I didn't give it up right away and second of all, you should want to speak to the person you're with every day pretty much... At least in my opinion and experience it's always been that way.