MissPotato Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 Hello everyone, first of all sorry for my english im not fluent ! I'm french and i need help:) The last year in my university, a guy started to stare at me and look nervous when i was arround him, and i saw he was always next to me and very nice (helping me when he saw i needed help, without asking him, and without saying a word to me). The problem is he's shy, even a professor told him he should be more confident when speaking... the few times i approached him were a fail cause he avoided to look at me, or stammed, or looked almost scornful! This year, in september, we're not in the same class so i could see him just a few times at the university. Just after our last exam in september, i saw him just behind me in the stairs of the metro station (i was going back to my home). (this is something that happened often, him just behind me when i didn't expect). I was surprised cause i didn't see him in the metro and cause he always go back to his home by biking. Plus i know he knows where i live. So i stopped and i looked at him, he stopped in front of me, i was waiting, he avoided look at me... and he made a U-turn! Call me a paranoid but i really had the impression he followed me. The last time (2 weeks ago), a friend of him teased him and glanced at him while i walked next to them but the guy i like didn't even looked at me and looked awkward. Given that i have his mail adress (each one has the adress of everyone in the university) and that he answered me quickly when i asked him for an information about the course (by email), i wrote him this message "hello, you'll may find this akward but the last year, i wanted to talk to you but i didn't dare, so if you want us to go out anywhere to do something, it would be great, if you don't it's not a problem". It was seven days ago and he never answered... should i insist? What can i do? Now i really feel stupid. Maybe i am mistaken about his interest, maybe he was shocked by my mail or he didn't understood it... what do you think? I would like to wrote him a new email to say him it's embarrassing for me not having an answer and that i feel stupid...
soccerrprp Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 Don't email again. Just move on as if you hadn't sent it. Let him make the next move, if it happens. 1
Author MissPotato Posted November 14, 2013 Author Posted November 14, 2013 Thank you for your answer; it's just that i feel so stupid now and i don't want to see him in the university. If he answered me just to say "no" it would be easier for me to forget him and wait for a new crush...
simplicity1 Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 Hi, It sounds like you see him around pretty often. Maybe next time you see him in person you can ask if he got your email? It would be more natural than sending a follow up email and this way he has to respond to you somehow!
Zahara Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 Thank you for your answer; it's just that i feel so stupid now and i don't want to see him in the university. If he answered me just to say "no" it would be easier for me to forget him and wait for a new crush... When you sent him the email, you must have weighed the outcomes? Did you not ask yourself, "What if he doesn't respond, how do I face him in school again?" Yes? It's a risk. You took it. Don't feel stupid for taking it. Rejection is part of the course. Him saying "no" shouldn't be what you need to move on and forget. His non-response should be enough. He may just respond but for now step back. Don't email him again. You'll come off looking and feeling worse if you pester him with another email. 1
Author MissPotato Posted November 14, 2013 Author Posted November 14, 2013 In fact we never "talked" together, it was just a few times about the class and as i said he is very hard to approach. So it would seem strange if i asked him if he read my email, plus i'm 99% sure he did. I don't want to hassle him. I didn't see him since this email. The problem is that i still have the hope is "just shy" beacause of all the signs, but maybe i was mistaken. I take the risk of being rejected and now i am in the worth way.
Author MissPotato Posted November 14, 2013 Author Posted November 14, 2013 Zahara : you're right, if i send him a new email and he does not answer i fould feel even more like a harasser. I must remind that.
vtran31 Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 as a shy guy myself I get intimidated when a girl shows interest in me. it seems this guy is the same. There really isnt any way to get a shy guy to take charge of a relationship or even respond to an advancement (unless you are an excellent seductress which you may be) Best of luck to you though. the only advice I can give you is that if you really like this guy be direct and dont take no for an answer
Author MissPotato Posted November 14, 2013 Author Posted November 14, 2013 as a shy guy myself I get intimidated when a girl shows interest in me. it seems this guy is the same. There really isnt any way to get a shy guy to take charge of a relationship or even respond to an advancement (unless you are an excellent seductress which you may be) Best of luck to you though. the only advice I can give you is that if you really like this guy be direct and dont take no for an answer As a shy guy, what would you like a girl to do in this case? I don't want to be too much direct (and i guess my mail was already too direct for him since he didn't answer).
vtran31 Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 (edited) as a shy guy my first instinct is to flee from any woman who talks to me. How I would suggest bagging one of my bedfellows? I dunno. Maybe start as friends? Edited November 14, 2013 by vtran31
Targetlock Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 silly question but would he know it is from you? well you took a chance, it takes a lot to do that sometimes, so well done. and yes it drives me mad, when i don't get responses to messages, rather have a definite even if it is a 'no' then nothing.
Author MissPotato Posted November 14, 2013 Author Posted November 14, 2013 silly question but would he know it is from you? well you took a chance, it takes a lot to do that sometimes, so well done. and yes it drives me mad, when i don't get responses to messages, rather have a definite even if it is a 'no' then nothing. Thanks for your answer. Of course he knows, since we already send emails to each other. As I said each student has the email adress of the others. One time i received an anonymous mail of an unknown adress (saying "hello -my name-, ...")telling me that i should not forget to complete some work i had to do before the end of the week. Then i saw that my answer to this message was redirected to the guy's adress mail. I observed the same things for the messages i posted in the public email messaging of my university (everybody has the password of it) (just mine, not the messages of the other students). All the other messages we exchanged were on my initiative. And always about the class. The last time i wroted to him (in september), it was to congratulate him on succeeding the exam. He answered me an hour later, to congratulate me too. That's so weird . as a shy guy my first instinct is to flee from any woman who talks to me. How I would suggest bagging one of my bedfellows? I dunno. Maybe start as friends? With the message i sent to him, i guess it's obvious that i don't want us just to be friend...
emva07 Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 I don't buy the shy guy excuse anymore, I'm sorry. I've given so many guys the benefit of that doubt....no, it is always guys that aren't interested. Shy guys can like and reject girls too, they are perfectly capable of landing women or accepting their advances. Let's say he thinks you are too good for him....another email won't change his mind. Just take it as someone who didn't answer your email, whatever the reason may be....it's a no. 1
vtran31 Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 if you really like this boy, I'd recommend getting to know him more and see if he opens up to you. If he wants to spend time with you in teh future, more is the better :bunny:
emva07 Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 if you really like this boy, I'd recommend getting to know him more and see if he opens up to you. If he wants to spend time with you in teh future, more is the better :bunny: How can she get to know someone who doesn't even have the politeness of answering a yes or no email? 1
Author MissPotato Posted November 14, 2013 Author Posted November 14, 2013 I don't buy the shy guy excuse anymore, I'm sorry. I've given so many guys the benefit of that doubt....no, it is always guys that aren't interested. I know that too many often girls guess that the guy is just shy whereas he's not interested. I'm afraid of it. it's so ridiculous! But i myself was really shy until age 20, when i had my first boyfriend. I rejected guys that i really liked cause i wasn't confident at all and could not bear the heart beats, butterflies in my stomach, fluttering nerves... so i avoided them when they asked me. I didn't like my first boyfriend so it was easy to go out with him, i was not so much impressed. I found him ugly and old:sick:. 1
memo15mx Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 Hello everyone, first of all sorry for my english im not fluent ! I'm french and i need help:) The last year in my university, a guy started to stare at me and look nervous when i was arround him, and i saw he was always next to me and very nice (helping me when he saw i needed help, without asking him, and without saying a word to me). The problem is he's shy, even a professor told him he should be more confident when speaking... the few times i approached him were a fail cause he avoided to look at me, or stammed, or looked almost scornful! This year, in september, we're not in the same class so i could see him just a few times at the university. Just after our last exam in september, i saw him just behind me in the stairs of the metro station (i was going back to my home). (this is something that happened often, him just behind me when i didn't expect). I was surprised cause i didn't see him in the metro and cause he always go back to his home by biking. Plus i know he knows where i live. So i stopped and i looked at him, he stopped in front of me, i was waiting, he avoided look at me... and he made a U-turn! Call me a paranoid but i really had the impression he followed me. The last time (2 weeks ago), a friend of him teased him and glanced at him while i walked next to them but the guy i like didn't even looked at me and looked awkward. Given that i have his mail adress (each one has the adress of everyone in the university) and that he answered me quickly when i asked him for an information about the course (by email), i wrote him this message "hello, you'll may find this akward but the last year, i wanted to talk to you but i didn't dare, so if you want us to go out anywhere to do something, it would be great, if you don't it's not a problem". It was seven days ago and he never answered... should i insist? What can i do? Now i really feel stupid. Maybe i am mistaken about his interest, maybe he was shocked by my mail or he didn't understood it... what do you think? I would like to wrote him a new email to say him it's embarrassing for me not having an answer and that i feel stupid... I know it sucks he doesn´t reply. You wrote him a very nice e-mail. You need to believe that. He´s rude not to reply to at least say he´s not interested. Pay him no mind whatsoever. . 2
Author MissPotato Posted November 14, 2013 Author Posted November 14, 2013 Memo15mx, thank you for this comforting answer. I'm going to sleep. If something new happens, i'll tell you !
memo15mx Posted November 15, 2013 Posted November 15, 2013 Memo15mx, thank you for this comforting answer. I'm going to sleep. If something new happens, i'll tell you ! I´ll gladly be around Miss Potato . Take care.
winny Posted November 15, 2013 Posted November 15, 2013 MissPotato - Don't do anything at all. Chill. And when you see him again, completely ignore and behave cool and happy... There are so many guys out there... Life is short... do you really wanna spend it feeling bad for a guy who didn't answer or you wanna spend it in searching for someone who would? 1
flight E Posted November 15, 2013 Posted November 15, 2013 He is behaving strange. That kind of shyness is extreme and wierd. Do you think this is someone you really want to be with or is it the mystery that's enticing u. Nevertheless, you not yet in too deep so you might as well ask him when you see him in school y he didn't respond to you mail. If he is still acting so wierd leave him alone. Wierdos have a lot of issues and baggage that you don't want to contend with
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