Liquinn Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 Well, I'm nervous about asking a girl for her phone number.. we've met on 4 occasions (when we meet next, it will be the 5th). How can I not be nervous? Is it normal to be nervous?
vtran31 Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 make up a legitimate excuse to need her number
d0nnivain Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 It's normal to be nervous. You can't not be nervous so just accept that you are nervous. Now take a deep breath & ask for the number. Even if she doesn't give it to you or go out with you, you are no worse off than you are now in this state of anxiety. At least then it will be over & you will either have the number & a date or you will be free to move to the next girl. 1
SweetCharity Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 It's natural to be nervous. Why not try asking for her facebook first and then go from there? 1
Author Liquinn Posted November 14, 2013 Author Posted November 14, 2013 It's natural to be nervous. Why not try asking for her facebook first and then go from there? or I could give her mine and see if she contacts me first?
d0nnivain Posted November 15, 2013 Posted November 15, 2013 or I could give her mine and see if she contacts me first? She won't. Women want men to pursue them. Even if society is changing we are constantly told that if a man is interested, he'll make the 1st move & if we make the 1st move he'll think we're easy. While none of that is necessarily true, it is still the message that is given to many little girls.
GGZ Posted November 15, 2013 Posted November 15, 2013 Like the previous posters mentioned it, it is normal to be nervous; it means you have feelings as a human beings. Whether or not those feelings are reciprocated is another story, but I think here you have to be true to yourself and take actions for what you believe in and want. What she thinks or says can seem at first threatening, but eventually you will grow out of it, and asking a phone number will have become but a routine thing. Good luck to you pal
Author Liquinn Posted November 15, 2013 Author Posted November 15, 2013 (edited) Like the previous posters mentioned it, it is normal to be nervous; it means you have feelings as a human beings. Whether or not those feelings are reciprocated is another story, but I think here you have to be true to yourself and take actions for what you believe in and want. What she thinks or says can seem at first threatening, but eventually you will grow out of it, and asking a phone number will have become but a routine thing. Good luck to you pal Well, she can only say no or yes... I think she would say yes and besides, I need to practise Spanish with her. I'll make it clear I want nothing else from her. E-mail might seem a bit geeky. Edited November 15, 2013 by Liquinn
GGZ Posted November 15, 2013 Posted November 15, 2013 Don't worry too much, as long as you get your message through, you should be fine. For women and men, it takes courage to convey one's feelings and needs even though some would say it is preferable to ask in person. Find common activities and interests and build on from there. Friendly piece of advice: in the worst case (I know I can be pretty cynical) never let anyone's answer or judgment affect the value of your worth as a person. There is too much to live for. Your heart is free, have the courage to follow her (Malcom Wallace/Braveheart).
Author Liquinn Posted November 15, 2013 Author Posted November 15, 2013 She's Catalan and that's why I'm nervous... I guess it's different since I have to converse with her in Spanish. Thanks.
GGZ Posted November 15, 2013 Posted November 15, 2013 (edited) You are very welcome. I think since you two have this common thing in Spanish, you can chat and relate about what you both find interesting in Catalan and Spanish. You would be amazed to know how people can be happy just to see others speak and learn their language. By knowing Spanish and being willing to exchange in Spanish and discover the Catalan culture, it shows you have a great deal of interest to approach her, to understand her cultural heritage/where she comes from, how she thinks, etc. In building relationships, this is a plus for you; you can earn the rest, but don't put too much pressure on yourself. Edited November 15, 2013 by GGZ
Author Liquinn Posted November 15, 2013 Author Posted November 15, 2013 You are very welcome. I think since you two have this common thing in Spanish, you can chat and relate about what you both find interesting in Catalan and Spanish. You would be amazed to know how people can be happy just to see others speak and learn their language. By knowing Spanish and being willing to exchange in Spanish and discover the Catalan culture, it shows you have a great deal of interest to approach her, to understand her cultural heritage/where she comes from, how she thinks, etc. In building relationships, this is a plus for you; you can earn the rest, but don't put too much pressure on yourself. I agree with you and I can relate. Catalan people are the best, in my opinion/experience. What do you mean? "You could earn the rest"? I'll ask her for her number Sunday if I see her (I should).
GGZ Posted November 16, 2013 Posted November 16, 2013 I said that you can earn the rest to say that you can have a great relationship with that person. Earn may not be the perfect word here, but I wanted to say that you can become a good friends with this person, and who knows more someday.
Author Liquinn Posted November 16, 2013 Author Posted November 16, 2013 I said that you can earn the rest to say that you can have a great relationship with that person. Earn may not be the perfect word here, but I wanted to say that you can become a good friends with this person, and who knows more someday. True. I guess I was nervous about her reply to my question. I suppose if you don't ask you don't get.
Author Liquinn Posted November 16, 2013 Author Posted November 16, 2013 I hope she turns up... I trust her enough that she will.
GGZ Posted November 17, 2013 Posted November 17, 2013 I wish you best of luck, mate. Have faith in yourself and everything will be fine. "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." - Wayne Gretzky
Author Liquinn Posted November 19, 2013 Author Posted November 19, 2013 I asked her today and she said no because of her boyfriend... fair enough, I guess?
Author Liquinn Posted November 20, 2013 Author Posted November 20, 2013 Could she be lying about having a boyfriend?
The Straightener Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 Could she be lying about having a boyfriend? Perhaps...but either way it indicates that she's not interested in pursuing anything. 1
Author Liquinn Posted November 20, 2013 Author Posted November 20, 2013 (edited) Perhaps...but either way it indicates that she's not interested in pursuing anything. What indicates she's not interested in persuing anything? If she's not interested in persuing anything, why does she speak to me at the restaurant? Seems weird that she speaks to me at the restaurant yet says she can't give me her number due to her boyfriend. We speak if we're both at the restaurant (she works and lives above it). I made clear I didn't want anything more from her... so what would she get out of lying about a boyfriend? Edited November 20, 2013 by Liquinn
The Straightener Posted November 21, 2013 Posted November 21, 2013 What indicates she's not interested in persuing anything? If she's not interested in persuing anything, why does she speak to me at the restaurant? Seems weird that she speaks to me at the restaurant yet says she can't give me her number due to her boyfriend. We speak if we're both at the restaurant (she works and lives above it). To pass the time. I made clear I didn't want anything more from her... so what would she get out of lying about a boyfriend? Perhaps she wants to let you know that there is no chance at all with you. You are only good enough to talk with for a while but you are not good enough to have a relationship with so she'll nip it in the bud way before it gets close to anything happening. Women can be strange creatures sometimes.
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