confusedgirl Posted December 22, 2004 Posted December 22, 2004 iv just had a dissagreement with my bf about new years eve,i wanted it be with both of us sharin the night together happily bringing the new year in,but instead now he tells me his mate has invited us to this old friends house who i used to hang with, with all my other past mates who predictably wil be there as they are a whole package typically,but the bad thing is, my ex is one of those mates and he dumped me and treated me like rubbish n makes me out to b some kind of terrible gf n everytime a lad tells him they like me he shakes his head in disscust n 'warns' them off me plus the rest of them used to labe; me as 'depressed',so once my bf told me about going, i shook my head sayin 'i dont fancy goin'. my bf was dissapointed and kept goin on about how its more sensible than payin lots of money elsewhere and he doesnt want to go out 'out', i carried on being off the idea of this mates house, but he simply doesnt understand, i really would hate to go, iv kind of grown out of the whole mates paty thing cos all they do is stupid thins like smoke weed and plus the people there i dont like anymore and it would be like goin back to my past again and i would hate for my ex to say anything. my bf looked very annoyed with me as if im a killjoy and very anti-social but i just didnt know how to explain it to him how badly i dont want to go and the good reason as to why cos he would just think im pathetic and insecure...he just left tellin me to sort somethin 'better' out or go out on my own,now i feel like a bad boring girlfriend whom he cant have proper fun with...but its with all the wrong people, and i dont want him to go off me cos of this..please can anyone give me advice?
Devildog Posted December 22, 2004 Posted December 22, 2004 How long have you guys been together? Did you meet as you were both part of this social circle? If this is a friend of his from the past it is a bit unfair to ask him to throw away all of his old friends. If he was a part of the same social circle he would be aware of the "issues" they say you have, but he still chose to be with you anyway. I don't think they are going to sway his judgement at this point. I understand your hesitation at going back to a group of people that were unkind to you, but if he isn't spending all his time with these people, just a one time party thing or maybe something every few months kind of thing I don't see where this should be that big of an issue for you.
Author confusedgirl Posted December 22, 2004 Author Posted December 22, 2004 weve been together 17 months but we met outside all that social circle cos neither of us hung out with them anymore, we havent hung out in a group together and i dont want to stop him from seein mates but the problem is that i would be very bored, anti social and clingy and he would hate me to be by his side all night,iv grown out of all this crap, but im in a prediciment and i dont know how to put down my point without seeming anti social
Devildog Posted December 22, 2004 Posted December 22, 2004 After a year and a half together I don't think you would have to worry about anything said swaying his opinion of you. Is the issue that this group of people treated you badly or is it an issue of you not having anyone to talk to? If it is a matter of not having anyone to talk to, well, look at it like if you had to attend some function with him for work. You wouldn't know anyone there, but for his sake you would still attend wouldn't you? If it is because these people treated you badly explain that to him. He might be more understanding then.
Author confusedgirl Posted December 22, 2004 Author Posted December 22, 2004 its more a childish subject, i was a lot immature back then, this lad i dated in that group messed me about after a while and made me insecure, attention seeking and depressed, i would be goin to all his mates to make im go k with me id b gettin them to tell him things or persuade him to get bk with me, therfore id be 'depressed' 'attentin seeking; and annoying and all them lot are idiotic, dopey and i feel its my past and i souldnt have to go back and experience it even if it is just once more, and to the fact of me hanging around not sayin anythin would be cos im kind of shy and i dont like them cos their not 'my' kind of people....i just dont know how to make him understand !
Recommended Posts