WaitingforMrRight Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 I know the 'smart' thing to do is to not be so picky, and generally give most guys a shot. However, I can't help it...it is really hard for me to go out with a guy who I'm not excited about. The times I've bit the bullet and done it, the date sucked. I signed up in February and have gone out with 10 different men since. It could have been a lot more...a lot. Of those 10 guys, most I had a bad first date with, a couple spanned out to several dates and fizzled out (mutually), and a few I decided to go on a 2nd date with, even though I didn't like them on the first. And apparently the one guy i was totally into, was not into me. But I digress. My head tells me to give more guys a chance, but my heart tells me to slow down and only go out with the ones that give me the warm and fuzzies. In other words, quality over quantity. It's just the way I am; not a huge fan of dating many men. I'm a relationship girl. Ladies (and men) how do you approach online dating?
Philosoraptor Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 You shouldn't go out with someone you don't have an interest in. Period. Online dating should be approached as a supplement to meeting people out in your normal routine and doing your normal hobbies.
Keenly Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 You want the warm and fuzzies.... in person. Its impossible to tell if you attracted to some ones personality online. There are no warm and guzzies there.
Author WaitingforMrRight Posted November 14, 2013 Author Posted November 14, 2013 Online dating should be approached as a supplement to meeting people out in your normal routine and doing your normal hobbies. Good point. Sometimes I just wonder if I'm doing it 'right.' I think I am.
soccerrprp Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 I dated EXCLUSIVELY via OLD. OLD is tricky, but certainly not impossible to maneuver around. Just remember that the person you're seeing is likely seeing others and/or using you as a place-setter until he/she finds someone better. The nature of the beast, unfortunately. Once you meet someone, YOU ARE GETTING THE WARM AND FUZZIES IN PERSON. Unless your entire relationship revolves around emailing, texting and skyping, it becomes face-to-face as you already know. It's clear that you don't have problems finding date, rather, finding the right person. Your approach shouldn't change just b/c you're OLD. Your biggest competition is the turn-style of online options that the guys are pursuing and looking for.
Phantom888 Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 My head tells me to give more guys a chance, but my heart tells me to slow down and only go out with the ones that give me the warm and fuzzies. In other words, quality over quantity. It's just the way I am; not a huge fan of dating many men. I'm a relationship girl. Ladies (and men) how do you approach online dating? Definitely be picky. Don't waste time with luke-warm feelings. Your heart is telling you what you ultimately need. Listen to it.
NJtoDC Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 I know the 'smart' thing to do is to not be so picky, and generally give most guys a shot. However, I can't help it...it is really hard for me to go out with a guy who I'm not excited about. What kinds of criteria do you have, your prerequisites? What do you find exciting in a OLD guy? The times I've bit the bullet and done it, the date sucked. I signed up in February and have gone out with 10 different men since. It could have been a lot more...a lot. Of those 10 guys, most I had a bad first date with, a couple spanned out to several dates and fizzled out (mutually), and a few I decided to go on a 2nd date with, even though I didn't like them on the first. And apparently the one guy i was totally into, was not into me. But I digress. When you say you bit the bullet are you saying you did end up going on dates with guys who you knew you weren't interested in or that the ones you thought you were interested in were sucky patches after all? My head tells me to give more guys a chance, but my heart tells me to slow down and only go out with the ones that give me the warm and fuzzies. In other words, quality over quantity. It's just the way I am; not a huge fan of dating many men. I'm a relationship girl. While you are still in the online phase of communication what gives you the warm and fuzzies? Have you had someone review your profile for you to make sure you are attracting the type of guys you are interested in? Have you considered deleting your profile and creating a new, revamped one with new pics as well? If you've been on since February you may go to the bottom of some searches (if guys look for newest members first). Also, do you initiate first contact with guys who you are interest in? Are you in a larger area with lots of potential matches and if not have you considered widening your search radius? Good luck!
Ruby Slippers Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 I did OLD only briefly last year, and was very picky. I didn't rule out men for not being tall enough or whatever - it was always because we didn't have much in common, or they hinted about sex before we even met. I only went on dates with 2 guys, and I had a year-long relationship with the second. I could tell before I met both of them that we had a lot in common and would probably get along well, and I was right. I don't typically enjoy going on first-time dates just for the sake of it, and am looking for a lasting relationship, so it felt right to me to be choosy and make sure we had a lot in common and there was potential.
vtran31 Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 online dating works for some people, most it does not. I think you need to figure out whether online dating is worth the investment for the possible reward and I'd recommend you stay picky. No reason to go out just to go out with someone you have no interest in:bunny::bunny:
d0nnivain Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 OLD is one tool. It is not the be all end all of trying to find love. I was actually pickier with OLD because I had such limited information. The only "concession" I eventually made was to open up the geography to go from my small town, to encompass a nearby (40 miles away) big city.
Gottabestrong Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 The way I online-date is if someone sends me a message, his profile seems fine, he seems nice and his looks are alright or better - I go on a coffee-date with him. I believe it is impossible to truly get to know someone online and the few times when I exchanged lots of messages with someone before meeting them, the meeting was always a let-down, either for him or me. So here is my advice, if he seems decent and there is nothing about him that turns you off, meet him for a quick drink or coffee. The first meeting shouldn't necessarily last longer than 1 hour, and I like to keep it friendly and platonic. Ideally we meet during the day. THEN if I don't feel a connection with the guy, I don't go on another date with him. This is me being picky -> don't waste your time on someone you have no interest in, but meet them in person first to see whether you do. [online] looks can be deceiving. Good luck!
Neville107 Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 What was it that initially excited you about those 10 guys? The fact that none of them worked out should tell you that you picked them for the wrong reason. Yes, you wanted to be seen with a studly, good looking guy, but they had nothing to offer or else you would be here touting that OLD is the only way to go. I'll suggest this - be picky, ask an uncomfortable question in the email prior to a date (You'll see what the person is really like when they've been ruffled), don't take photos that are posted as gospel (Some people just don't take good photos and others know how to fake it), and give a borderline guy a chance (He may just surprise you and be The One).
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