My girlfriend ended things with me!

[rov]

Hello everyone . I dated my exgirlfriend for 9 months , 4 months ago she broke up with me because she was moving to another city , at the end she never went to that city and she begged me for another chance, so we got back together . She lived with her ​​dad but a few weeks ago her dad punched her hard with a belt because she got home late. Her father is a very hard person. She wanted to find an apartment to rent so she could avoid being abused physically by her father. Then she asked me to help him find an apartment to rent and told me if I could borrow her 400 dls to pay the first rent. Then she would search for a job and she would pay what I borrowed to her and with the earnings from her work she would pay the rent´s apartment.

 

I agreed to borrow her the money. I was absent in my work for two days trying to help her find an apartment, we did not found anything for that price .. Then she tells me that she wants to rent something more expensive and I replied that that was not possible because she would not be able to pay for it with the money she earns from her work, she earns about $ 400 a month . From there she her only choice was to go to live to with the family of her ex because they were a family to her. A few days ago she sent a message saying that she was living with her ex´s family suddenly the next day she sent me an email saying that she is ending our relationship because I did not supported her as she expected trying to find a solution to her problem. She started to say that i disappointed her and that I was the only person that could save her. I think that her real intentions were that she wanted me to pay the 400 dollar monthly rent, which I think is an abuse. I only earn 1200 dollars a month, that would almost half of my earnings.

 

Then I decided to call her from the hospital because my dad was extremely sick and was dying that day and we took him immediately to the hospital.We took him to emergencies. So when I called her she started to tell me that she was disappointed with me, that she expected more of me and that i couldn't give her that, that she expected me to completely solve her problem. I told her that my dad had been sick since the last two weeks and I was worried of his health, I told her that I did what i could with her situation, I was absent in my work for two days to help her find an apartment, I told her that I agreed to pay the first rent for her meanwhile she found a job, so that it was unfair to say that I did nothing. So she told me that she wanted to end the relationship and I said that was ok and hang the phone

 

3 hours later she sends me a text where she asks how my dad was I told her that he was starting to get better, I acted with indifference with he. Then in the afternoon I received more messages from her asking what was I doing. The next day she calls me saying that if I need something I can count with her. Again, yesterday she sends me a text in the morning wishing me a great day and asking me how my dad was, in the afternoon she sends me another text asking me what was i doing. Why does she do this?, she ends things with me and still keeps texting me???

 

When we were together she didn't came to my birthday party a month ago because she said that her father would not let her arrive home late. At the next day of my birthday I saw her and she only spent with me 3 hours because she went for a coffee with a friend of hers, I was sad about this, she didn't even spent the whole day with me. There are times where I did not see her in two weeks and her excuses were that she had lots of homework. Also, sometimes when she went to a trip, there were times where she didn't even texted me in a week. She gave little to this relationship but she wants me to give everything, thats unfair.

 

Now she tells me that she wants to see me in person see to how Im doing with my life and know that Im good with what happened with my dad etc. She says that I can always count on her as friend.

 

What kind of love is this?, I did everything i could for her but she justs asked too much, she asked me to borrow her money many times and I did it. And know because I didn't help her pay a 400 dollar rent a month she dumps me

[Fufu]

Get away from her.. she doesn't sound serious and committed to you. And it seems to me that she is after you for $$$ only. Whether her issue is really true or not I have no idea.

 

And the sad thing is, she doesn't seem to show any kind of appreciation to you.

[Philosoraptor]

She's selfish and you're naive. Cut her out of your life, as she is nothing but a drain.

 

No need to talk to her, no need to bother with her at all. You can see how selfish she is. Just drop all contact with her, take care of yourself, and start moving on. Getting back with her will not be good for you.

[rov]

In her breakup mail that she sent me, she puts herself as the victim. Now Im a little confused if I did wrong in not giving her the money of the rent. what do you think.

 

Why would she want to see me in person to know if Im good?, she also told me in her text messages from the other they that she wants to come to my guitar concert in my university, and i was like wtf?

Edited November 14, 2013 by rov

[Chi townD]

She needed to victimize herself in her head so she didn't have to feel guilty about the break up. It's call blameshifting.

 

Dude, ignore her and move on.

[Philosoraptor]

In her breakup mail that she sent me, she puts herself as the victim. Now Im a little confused if I did wrong in not giving her the money of the rent. what do you think.

 

Why would she want to see me in person to know if Im good?, she also told me in her text messages from the other they that she wants to come to my guitar concert in my university, and i was like wtf?

Block and ignore. She's not worth your time at all.

[rov]

so do you think this girl was just manipulating me and using me?, or it was my duty to help her?

[Philosoraptor]

so do you think this girl was just manipulating me and using me?, or it was my duty to help her?

Yes, she was doing her best to take you for what you could offer but then had no interest later. You owed her nothing, you still owe her nothing... stay away from her.

[rov]

Was she being abusive or it was my duty as a boyfriend to help her?

[Zahara]

Was she being abusive or it was my duty as a boyfriend to help her?

 

You're not grasping anything anyone is saying. It's twice now you've asked this question.

 

Did she even pause to think if you could afford paying for her apartment? No. Wasn't that her "duty" as a girlfriend to consider your welfare? Instead she expected it. She felt entitled to it. And because you didn't do as she pleased, she didn't want to be in a relationship with you. That means, the love, commitment, respect, care for you all went out the door because of $400. That how little she valued you and the relationship.

 

Your duty as a boyfriend isn't to fork out money to upkeep her lifestyle. Your duty as a boyfriend is to support her by giving her rational and reasonable advice, which you did.

 

You need to stop communicating with her. She's a manipulative brat.

[rov]

yes, this is totally true. she didn't even care about my interest, she valued the relationship in 400 dollars. thats sad