gd1039 Posted December 21, 2004 Posted December 21, 2004 I met this girl at school a few weeks ago, suggested we grab some coffee and got her number. We met for coffee a few days later, I paid and Good conversation followed. She is kind of quiet, and when I ran into her at school after this, I first took it as her not being very interested. I decided to stick my neck out there and call her again anyways. We ended up going to see a movie last night, again I paid. It was cold in the theater, so we were both sitting with our arms crossed to keep them warm (my hands felt like ice). I decided I had to make a move, so I put my hand over and said something to the effect of "let me hold your hand" She shook her head no, and turned back to the screen. I should have just said "No? Ok have a good time" and left, but I thought of it too late to be able to leave without looking like a chump, so I just kept watching the movie, slightly chuckling to myself at my failure. After the movie we chatted about it on the way outside, she (very smiling, maybe sinister-style) said thanks for the movie, I said ok later. That was it. Now, I am kinda a pvssy when it comes to flirting, I had to force myself to get over the nervousness of tryin to hold her hand, not so bad once I was shut down. Was I wrong to think that even though there hadn't been any solid flirting yet, more conversation, that it was a date? And if so, how do you meet a random person and make it clear that you are interested in a DATE and not just going out as friends. I'm tryin to learn from any mistakes I may have made so I don't make them in the future.
theedge Posted December 22, 2004 Posted December 22, 2004 Live and learn man. I was that guy so many times in the past. I got to a point where I stopped paying unless it was specifally a date. I am not saying this about all women but some will take the free dinner/night out but want nothing romantic with you. At least you became somewhat agressive and tried to hold her hand. You have to be more agressive from the begining though. I know its hard making the choice not to pay, but your just going to get burned. I also met women who were smart enough to know that if they aren't interested they won't allow you to pay. Your choice and best of luck!
Author gd1039 Posted December 23, 2004 Author Posted December 23, 2004 It isn't about me being mad about paying, because I'm not. I spent 2 days out and about 20 bucks and found out that this was not going to go any farther, no real loss. I'm not even concerned with getting another chance with this girl. But I am curious what happened. I don't know if it was me, or just her. It isn't anything I am losing sleep over, but if it was me, and it was something I could correct in the future, knowing could only help. Does anyone else think like me and that this was actually a date?
chica Posted December 23, 2004 Posted December 23, 2004 Hi gd1039. Does anyone else think like me and that this was actually a date? Maybe it was, maybe not. Perhaps she was just testing the waters and leaving her options open? I wouldn't say that you necessarily did anything "wrong", I think it's most likely her stuff, or as simple as her not being into you on that level from the get-go. But from a female perspective, if that was the case, she shoulcn't have let you pay both times (well I wouldn't have anyway ) Don't be put off by the fact that she turned you down, keep being yourself
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