RedRobin Posted November 15, 2013 Posted November 15, 2013 Thanks James:love:. I did take a risk. I did sit there looking at the message to him for about an hour before I pressed send. I went over and over in my head all of the signs and signals before I sent it. I am not sold on going to the party tomorrow. Please do consider going to the party! Maybe he is just a nice guy who'd rather talk to you in person rather than do it electronically... especially if he knows you'll be there! Besides, the friend who invited you to her b-day party... isn't she important too? Focus on your friend if you get too nervous 2
Divasu Posted November 15, 2013 Posted November 15, 2013 (edited) Kudos OP for being ballsy, heehee. Edited November 16, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Off topic commentary redacted. 2
forgetmenot75 Posted November 16, 2013 Posted November 16, 2013 there is a weird rule among guys where you arent supposed to contact a woman for several days:bunny::bunny: Yes! so true. PUA's. I kinda hate them 1
Mr Scorpio Posted November 16, 2013 Posted November 16, 2013 I've heard a lot of ridiculous nonsense on here before, but that he wouldn't respond at all because of the content of the message might take the cake. If you're a guy you can get away with saying anything if a girl likes you and the same generally applies vice versa. A normal male would have replied to say thanks for the ego stroke at least even if he wasn't interested. He's got some intimacy issues going on. He'll probably be even more nervous and uncomfortable than you are at that party D. This. OPs message was a little strong, which just means this guy should consider himself lucky. 2
Teknoe Posted November 16, 2013 Posted November 16, 2013 D-Lish, as someone who has been rejected on verbal and written confessions before, I know the anxiety and pain you are going through. I also agree with those who said I wouldn't know how to respond myself if I were the guy. Your message did come off as, sorry to say, trashy. I think you should go to the party and see what's what. good luck
Author D-Lish Posted November 16, 2013 Author Posted November 16, 2013 I didn't go to the party, picked up a shift at work instead. Maybe the message seems trashy, trashy isn't my style- I was pretty nervous about sending anything at all and perhaps the wrong words came out due to my nervousness. On a side note, he would know through my friends and his friends that I'm definitely not a trashy kinda girl. I've had one boyfriend in the last 2 1/2 years, and on the numerous occasions we've been out together, I've never left with anybody or done anything inappropriate. So, maybe the content of my message was off-putting. Can't do anything about that now:(.
Trimmer Posted November 16, 2013 Posted November 16, 2013 I'm not a chaser. I've never been that way. I would never send another message. I put myself out there, I'm seeing now that it was a mistake to do so. No, dammit, it wasn't. I maintain that his reaction does not change the wisdom of your choice to put yourself out there. The entire sentence lol. Dude, you call someone out for "poor grammar," and then this is the only clarification you offer in response? "The entire sentence lol," is not a complete sentence because, among other things, it lacks a verb. That's how you explain poor grammar. 1
Author D-Lish Posted November 16, 2013 Author Posted November 16, 2013 No, dammit, it wasn't. I maintain that his reaction does not change the wisdom of your choice to put yourself out there. Dude, you call someone out for "poor grammar," and then this is the only clarification you offer in response? "The entire sentence lol," is not a complete sentence because, among other things, it lacks a verb. That's how you explain poor grammar. I guess I chalk it up to thinking about reaching out for a year, an entire year! I thought about it long and hard, and made the decision based on a belief that there was something mutual going on there. I guess I was just honest- he's hot, I'm interested. I told him so... Thanks Trimmer. I would have kicked myself down the road if I hadn't spoken up, yet I'm kicking myself now for speaking up.
Author D-Lish Posted November 17, 2013 Author Posted November 17, 2013 Update on the situation, he messaged me today. He's currently in counselling to reconcile with his wife. I actually feel relieved. He said he was hoping to see me last night to explain everything in person. He said he's keeping the reconciliation on the down-low while he figures things out. It was a nice message. 7
carhill Posted November 17, 2013 Posted November 17, 2013 That explains a lot. Thanks for the update. Good intentions; bad timing. It happens. 1
ja123 Posted November 17, 2013 Posted November 17, 2013 Hey D-Lish. I'm glad he messaged you to explain things. It must be a relief. Good on you for taking a risk! 1
Author D-Lish Posted November 17, 2013 Author Posted November 17, 2013 That explains a lot. Thanks for the update. Good intentions; bad timing. It happens. It's alright. An honest response goes a long way in a situation like this. He said some nice things about me, and admitted to a mutual attraction, but said it's best to keep things platonic for now. It was a polite rejection, I'm not sure if I've had one of those before- but I'm okay with it. It explains a lot- why he grinned and stared from across the room, but never approached. I interpreted the signals as shyness, and took it upon myself to throw out the green light.
Ninjainpajamas Posted November 17, 2013 Posted November 17, 2013 (edited) It's alright. An honest response goes a long way in a situation like this. He said some nice things about me, and admitted to a mutual attraction, but said it's best to keep things platonic for now. It was a polite rejection, I'm not sure if I've had one of those before- but I'm okay with it. It explains a lot- why he grinned and stared from across the room, but never approached. I interpreted the signals as shyness, and took it upon myself to throw out the green light. See, I would've pretty much handled it the same way he did. I'm glad he was open and honest about it, I've done the same thing because I don't want anyone to feel rejected/hurt in those kinds of situations when it wasn't even about them...I know how people's minds can race and make them feel rejected easily. Hopefully this helps you breathe a sigh of relief, sometimes I get no response after a message/contact like that which makes me feel a little unsettled and worried that they still took it pretty hard which makes me feel very bad, so for peace of mind if it's not too much trouble at least say "thanks for explaining that" or something, especially if seeing each other again is a likely possibility....then it's like arghhh, damnit. Edited November 17, 2013 by Ninjainpajamas 1
Author D-Lish Posted November 17, 2013 Author Posted November 17, 2013 See, I would've pretty much handled it the same way he did. I'm glad he was open and honest about it, I've done the same thing because I don't want anyone to feel rejected/hurt in those kinds of situations when it wasn't even about them...I know how people's minds can race and make them feel rejected easily. Hopefully this helps you breathe a sigh of relief, sometimes I get no response after a message/contact like that which makes me feel a little unsettled and worried that they still took it pretty hard which makes me feel very bad, so for peace of mind if it's not too much trouble at least say "thanks for explaining that" or something, especially if seeing each other again is a likely possibility....then it's like arghhh, damnit. I responded after getting the message. I was polite back. 2
JamesM Posted November 17, 2013 Posted November 17, 2013 That explains why he never sent a response earlier. 1
Krandor Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 That explains why he never sent a response earlier. and that was what I mentioned earlier that since he knew he would be seeing her at the party in a few days he preferred to talk to her then in person. 1
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