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Tips on how to act when shes with someone new?


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Posted

Okay so we split up a good couple of months ago now, shes now with someone knew and i want to know how to act in order to get her thinking, and reevaluating things i believe this to be a rebound relationship but i dont want to act in a way that will pushher towards him, im not showing signs of jelousy or belittling their relationship, but im also not going complete no contact as thats a way of getting over someone you never want to be with again... and that aint what im after.

 

Im over her mostly it hurts a little but im not majorly bothered, however i would like to get herinterested again, any tips?

Posted
Okay so we split up a good couple of months ago now, shes now with someone knew and i want to know how to act in order to get her thinking, and reevaluating things i believe this to be a rebound relationship but i dont want to act in a way that will pushher towards him, im not showing signs of jelousy or belittling their relationship, but im also not going complete no contact as thats a way of getting over someone you never want to be with again... and that aint what im after.

 

Im over her mostly it hurts a little but im not majorly bothered, however i would like to get herinterested again, any tips?

 

Indifference.

  • Like 3
Posted

She is with someone new. She does not want to be with you.

 

Hanging around like a bad smell with the secret intention to disrupt her relationship and draw her back in is not something I can advise you on.

 

We are not here to help you manipulate your ex.

 

I strongly recommend that you remove yourself from this situation, and drop the "act." Work on yourself, accept that it's over, and move on. You will probably disregard this post because it's not what you want to hear.

 

You are only torturing yourself, but some of us need to learn this the long, hard and drawn-out way unfortunately. I hope you wake up before you damage yourself too much by clinging on to someone that wants to be set free.

  • Like 4
Posted

Total indifference. You can never act as if you care she's banging some dude.

 

You can never disrespect a relationship she is having.

 

You cannot follow her around. You cannot send her letters.

 

And you cannot try to be "just friends" unless you guys already had a friendship that could still be salvaged. But that would mean you actually feel indifferent about her and not trying to get her back.

 

You should date. Don't use people, just go out and have fun. Hang out with friends. Don't mope. Smile.

Posted

What everyone else said, indifferent. You shouldn't care what she thinks, but regardless you need to tell yourself it's her loss. And if it isn't her loss make yourself believe this by doing some things to improve yourself mentally and physically.

  • Author
Posted

Im not trying to manipulate her, just asking for advice on how to act. People always say "she doesnt want to be with you move on etc" But from both experience and what ive seen, its always possible to get an ex back, afterall.... You was once a person she could love, you go back to that person and theres every chance she could love you again.

 

Anyway, i know she is in a rebound we split up like a month before i departed for Afghanistan for 7 months, she knew i was gone all this time, and i think she used this petty break up so she could basically be free for the time im away, horrible i know... But we carried on meeting all the way up until i finally got on the plane, and then i didnt speak to her for a month, complete NC, i know shes been thinking about me as shes had me blocked on FB for a while, shes recently unblocked me and has been making subtle changes... like editing the description of pictures were both in, stuff she knows ill pick up on...

Posted

Well if she's doing little things to keep you hanging while she's with another guy, then I think you're silly for letting it carry on.

 

If she loves you and wants to be with you, she'll reach out to you in no uncertain terms. Until then, you need to focus on yourself. Nothing you do now will make her want to be with you again - she'll either want it or she won't. If it's a rebound and she truly wants you and loves you, she will reach out when she realises this. If she knows that you're sitting there and available to her whenever she pleases, it will only work against you.

 

The best thing you can do is find the strength to let her go, live your life as best as you can, and stand on your own two feet. This will allow for the best outcome - she'll either see how well you're doing independently, and it will attract her, or, she'll continue with this new relationship as she would have done anyway...but you would have saved yourself the turmoil of constant rejection.

 

Spare yourself from having to watch the woman that you love be happy screwing another guy. Let her be.

 

Go NC and sort yourself out. If she wants you, she'll be in touch.

Posted

The beauty of no contact is that you get back on track, and if there is any chance of reconciliation this is the way to do it. Even if you don't succeed, you win.

 

Why? Because any gesture you make will push her away. You don't want to push her away. You want to make yourself attractive. Not only to her but to other women. Hovering around your ex is the surest way to make yourself not attractive to her.

 

So try the no contact, it might give you a shot. If it fails it wont matter because you will have already been working towards moving on.

 

;) ;)

  • Author
Posted

Im not letting it carry on, i just notice it but pay no attention :p

 

And fair enough, good points and well made, from what ive heard she will be comparing everything he does to me anyway, and im pretty sure i set a high standard for her, wont be long till the honeymoon period wears off, probably coincidentally itll be when i return from afghan... Haha but thatll be to late for her :p

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