Pining after my coworker

[SweetCharity]

Okay, so no idea how to proceed. This actually makes for a funny story.

 

I was out in downtown Orlando, finally getting over a heart break, enjoying the nightlife and feeling good. Of course I get a little too drunk and end up drunk texting my attractive co-worker, "Brandon."

 

Brandon and I work in a retail store. He’s in loss prevention while I’m a greeter. He’s also two years younger than me. At work he’s constantly teasing me and making quips whenever he walks by. We have been working together for several months. I usually just get flustered around him because what started as a slight attraction manifested into a full blown crush.

 

Anyway, all I wrote was, "You're cute as a button." He's one of 5 people I drunk text that night. More drunkenness is had and I forget I even texted him.

 

The next morning I get a text from him, "Who's this?" Of course I am mortified. He didn't know I had his number. (I had gotten it from a coworker for work related purposes. It was also up on his facebook.) So naturally, I ignore it hoping he'll forget about it.

 

But then a little later I get a phone call from a restricted number. No way, it couldn't be him sleuthing. So I ignore it.

 

Then, several hours later, “What’s up?” Darn. Finally, I just text back “?” because I couldn't deal with words.

 

“How’d you get my #? I’m in Orlando right now.” I tentatively text back asking him if he even knew who this was. He guessed my name, but not with the correct spelling. Crap. I explain I was really drunk and he lol-ed in response and said he was too. But then he asks me where I work and if I could send a picture.

 

Haha. I call him out on not really knowing who this really is. He admits he doesn't. We start going back and forth in what can only be described as a flirtatious battle of wits.

 

He winkey faces and tells me not to be shy. To go on ahead and tell him who I am or send a picture. At one point he even tells me to stop by the bar he’s at all the while trying to coax me into telling him who I was.

 

I tell him I can’t. That I’m just really embarrassed. Also that he sounds like a huge Casanova and I think I’I've figured him out.

 

Him: “You are nowhere near figuring me out Princess. Tell me who you are now or the conversation is over. ”

Me: “Ooh, scary threat, considering I see you all the time.”

Him: “Stalker?”

Me: “You’re the one that stalks. It’s your job after all.”

Him: “Ooh, you know what I do. Now you have to tell me.”

Me: “Okay, you promise not to make fun of me when you see me?”

Him: “I promise.”

 

So I cave and tell him who I am. And how does he react? He tells me to go ahead and send him a picture anyway. Keeps right on flirting with me, telling me it’s cool and to not to stare at him too much at work, with a wink face. He even says it was too bad I couldn't stay in Orlando for the day.

 

Flash forward to two days later.

 

I’m at the door greeting and he walks in, sees me and with the biggest smile on his face says, “Oh boy…what’s up creeper? Ha, I’m just kidding.”

I roll my eyes and say, “I don’t even…” but he’s off to do important loss prevention stuff. I’m a little flushed because he had called me a creeper. I don’t take kindly to that word.

 

He walks past again and says, “Hey creeper.”

“Whatever Casanova.” I retort.

 

The third time he’s passing by it looks like he’s about to tail someone he suspects of shoplifting. Usually when he does this I just make a joke or two. No big deal.

 

He stops for a second and says, “Hey what’s up,” while he’s looking off into the distance.

 

I start to say, “Hey…so you promised you wouldn't make fun of me—“But then he cuts me off. “Don’t talk to me while I’m working. I’m serious.”

 

“Whoa, excuse me!” I try to play it off.

 

“No, I’m serious. Don’t talk to me while I’m working.” And then he just stalks off to go do more snooping and stalking or whatever it is LP does.

 

And all I can think is “What the hell just happened?”

 

The next time we work together I’m nothing but frosty to him. He tries making jokes at me and all I do is give him the stank eye. Not a single word was spoken. Meanwhile my coworker was telling me that he was staring at me the whole time at work. The last thing he tells me that day is “Don’t work too hard!” with an expectant half-smile on his face. I just look at him blankly.

 

A week after he was rude to me things sort of get back to normal. I can’t help but get intense feelings of anger and desire every time I look at him.

Finally I confront him casually about it.

 

“So I’m allowed to talk to you now…or were you just grumpy that day?” I said.

“What? Oh, I was tailing a guy. I say that to anyone who talks to me while I’m doing that. Come on, you should know better.” He says all joking.

“You were rude!” I said.

“I know. I was thinking, ‘She probably thinks I’m an *******.’”’

“You could have apologized…”

“Apologize? Ha, you should apologize to me. I could have lost him.” He says jokingly as he fumbles with his sunglasses.

 

And scene.

 

Honestly, I really don’t know what his deal is. Don’t give me none of that “He’s just not that into you” stuff. There’s at least a mutual attraction there. I just don’t know what to do. He’s my coworker and I still have strong feelings for him. It’s starting to affect my dating life. I don’t know if I should just ask him out and be done with it. I don’t even want a relationship with him. I just want to hang out outside of work or whatever. And yes, I’m fully aware he sounds like a bad boy.

 

Any thoughts would be appreciated.

[farva2]

Drop those subtle hints/invites that you want him to ask you out

"I really want to see that movie ______ , none of my friends want to go though"

If he's into you he'll pick up on it eventually.

[90s kid]

 

I’m at the door greeting and he walks in, sees me and with the biggest smile on his face says, “Oh boy…what’s up creeper? Ha, I’m just kidding.”

I roll my eyes and say, “I don’t even…” but he’s off to do important loss prevention stuff. I’m a little flushed because he had called me a creeper. I don’t take kindly to that word.

 

He walks past again and says, “Hey creeper.”

“Whatever Casanova.” I retort.

 

The third time he’s passing by it looks like he’s about to tail someone he suspects of shoplifting. Usually when he does this I just make a joke or two. No big deal.

 

He stops for a second and says, “Hey what’s up,” while he’s looking off into the distance.

 

I start to say, “Hey…so you promised you wouldn't make fun of me—“But then he cuts me off. “Don’t talk to me while I’m working. I’m serious.”

 

“Whoa, excuse me!” I try to play it off.

 

“No, I’m serious. Don’t talk to me while I’m working.” And then he just stalks off to go do more snooping and stalking or whatever it is LP does.

 

And all I can think is “What the hell just happened?”

 

The next time we work together I’m nothing but frosty to him. He tries making jokes at me and all I do is give him the stank eye. Not a single word was spoken. Meanwhile my coworker was telling me that he was staring at me the whole time at work. The last thing he tells me that day is “Don’t work too hard!” with an expectant half-smile on his face. I just look at him blankly.

 

A week after he was rude to me things sort of get back to normal. I can’t help but get intense feelings of anger and desire every time I look at him.

Finally I confront him casually about it.

 

“So I’m allowed to talk to you now…or were you just grumpy that day?” I said.

“What? Oh, I was tailing a guy. I say that to anyone who talks to me while I’m doing that. Come on, you should know better.” He says all joking.

“You were rude!” I said.

“I know. I was thinking, ‘She probably thinks I’m an *******.’”’

“You could have apologized…”

“Apologize? Ha, you should apologize to me. I could have lost him.” He says jokingly as he fumbles with his sunglasses.

 

And scene.

 

Honestly, I really don’t know what his deal is. Don’t give me none of that “He’s just not that into you” stuff. There’s at least a mutual attraction there. I just don’t know what to do. He’s my coworker and I still have strong feelings for him. It’s starting to affect my dating life. I don’t know if I should just ask him out and be done with it. I don’t even want a relationship with him. I just want to hang out outside of work or whatever. And yes, I’m fully aware he sounds like a bad boy.

 

Any thoughts would be appreciated.

 

Are you looking for feedback on what happened? Based on the last paragraph you wrote, it sounds like you've already decided to pursue something with him. Sorry, but he sounds like a jerk to me. He snapped at you and when you called him on it, he admitted he was rude but refused to apologize and laughed it off instead. Sounds like a personality defect. But if you want to give him the benefit of the doubt, then go ahead and ask him out for a drink.

[SweetCharity]

Drop those subtle hints/invites that you want him to ask you out

"I really want to see that movie ______ , none of my friends want to go though"

If he's into you he'll pick up on it eventually.

 

I did send him a facebook invite to something. He didn't pick up on it though...

[SweetCharity]

Are you looking for feedback on what happened? Based on the last paragraph you wrote, it sounds like you've already decided to pursue something with him. Sorry, but he sounds like a jerk to me. He snapped at you and when you called him on it, he admitted he was rude but refused to apologize and laughed it off instead. Sounds like a personality defect. But if you want to give him the benefit of the doubt, then go ahead and ask him out for a drink.

 

Yeah, he does sound like a bit of jerk but that was the only instance in which he was rude. I do want to give him the benefit of the doubt though and one of the only reasons is because I'm not looking for a romance or relationship. What I want from him is a little bit more simple.

[farva2]

I did send him a facebook invite to something. He didn't pick up on it though...

Alot of people's FB inboxes are flooded with candy crush requests and invites to see their friends crappy bands play in a bar so I wouldn't worry too much about that. Do it in person, you can even follow up the FB in your next convo "did you get my FB invite"?

[SweetCharity]

Alot of people's FB inboxes are flooded with candy crush requests and invites to see their friends crappy bands play in a bar so I wouldn't worry too much about that. Do it in person, you can even follow up the FB in your next convo "did you get my FB invite"?

 

It's a little late for that. The event has passed. lol.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

As I read along, I was absolutely loving your eventual boldness in fessing-up to who it was that was texting.

 

THAT was the right move, and you did it, so I was hoping for better news from the rest of your post.

 

 

I do not in any way think he sees you as 'creepy', but the label was perhaps his easiest (or quickest) way to seem to engage you about the earlier exchange as a way of eventually finding out where it could go, romantically, with you.

 

Then came the part where he practically scolded you for (potentially blowing his cover - depending upon whether you've accurately and fully disclosed the scenario at the moment)...

 

... and my belief is (until you can prove otherwise) that he may well have been hot on the trail of a shoplifter, and as such, you should let that one go.

 

 

I say, that because you did well in the role of being the bolder one, and fessed-up about who you were, when you had him baffled... that YOU CAN be the one to go to him directly, and say something like:

 

 

"Hi, it feels like the vibe we've been volleying back and forth lately is spinning out of control in directions I don't want. The fact is, I'd much rather clear the air, stop the small 'jabs' which suffice as 'conversation', and instead find out if you'd like to hang out one night soon when we're both free?"

 

 

 

This approach lets you stop short of a formal date declaration, and your status as coworkers makes it fair that there can be a reasonable alternative. Most importantly, though, it allows you to STOP the potential evolution toward helping to create feelings you don't want between yourself and a guy that you DO 'want'.

 

You can be the bigger soul... all in the interest of your original interest.

[SweetCharity]

As I read along, I was absolutely loving your eventual boldness in fessing-up to who it was that was texting.

 

THAT was the right move, and you did it, so I was hoping for better news from the rest of your post.

 

 

I do not in any way think he sees you as 'creepy', but the label was perhaps his easiest (or quickest) way to seem to engage you about the earlier exchange as a way of eventually finding out where it could go, romantically, with you.

 

Then came the part where he practically scolded you for (potentially blowing his cover - depending upon whether you've accurately and fully disclosed the scenario at the moment)...

 

... and my belief is (until you can prove otherwise) that he may well have been hot on the trail of a shoplifter, and as such, you should let that one go.

 

 

I say, that because you did well in the role of being the bolder one, and fessed-up about who you were, when you had him baffled... that YOU CAN be the one to go to him directly, and say something like:

 

 

"Hi, it feels like the vibe we've been volleying back and forth lately is spinning out of control in directions I don't want. The fact is, I'd much rather clear the air, stop the small 'jabs' which suffice as 'conversation', and instead find out if you'd like to hang out one night soon when we're both free?"

 

 

 

This approach lets you stop short of a formal date declaration, and your status as coworkers makes it fair that there can be a reasonable alternative. Most importantly, though, it allows you to STOP the potential evolution toward helping to create feelings you don't want between yourself and a guy that you DO 'want'.

 

You can be the bigger soul... all in the interest of your original interest.

 

This is awesome advice. Thank you. It's like you read my mind about exactly what I wanted to say. Would it be better if I did this in person?

[SincereOnlineGuy]

This is awesome advice. Thank you. It's like you read my mind about exactly what I wanted to say. Would it be better if I did this in person?

 

 

 

In direct answer: "yes, it would be better if you did so in person - the sincerity in your eyes and tone would be more communication than mere words could ever get across". (from a woman, to a man, it would be (seen as) so honest and so flattering)

 

 

BUT, you are allowed to send it via text in the event you cop out.

 

For there it will still have the clear English which is most ideal, and sorely needed at this point.

[SweetCharity]

In direct answer: "yes, it would be better if you did so in person - the sincerity in your eyes and tone would be more communication than mere words could ever get across". (from a woman, to a man, it would be (seen as) so honest and so flattering)

 

 

BUT, you are allowed to send it via text in the event you cop out.

 

For there it will still have the clear English which is most ideal, and sorely needed at this point.

 

I ended up sending him a text. He didn't even have my number saved. That answers that.

[Adele0908]

I really enjoyed this story. Its well written, OP.

 

It sounds like such a tease. I think your co-worker definitely likes you. He's trying to get more of your attention by being a tad passive-aggressive.

 

It's immature on his part. But it seems to be working on you. Stirring up emotions. He's got your attention.

 

I wouldn't ask him out if it was me. Personally I think it's best to play it cool until he comes to you and asks YOU out.

[Adele0908]

If he thinks you like him, he'll play games with you.

[SweetCharity]

If he thinks you like him, he'll play games with you.

 

Well I ended up running into him in downtown one night. He had me chase him all around town and long story short, we ended up boning in my car. I saw him at work two days later and we had a laugh about what a crazy night it was. He acted completely normal but then didn't respond to my text later that night. Sigh.

[SweetCharity]

If he thinks you like him, he'll play games with you.

 

Oh, he knows I like him alright.