simplicity1 Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 Had an enticing first date on Sunday...met him online. 3 hours of great conversation. He texted 5 minutes after the date saying he had a great time, would like to continue our conversation as soon as he feels better (he was not feeling well). I responded saying I had a really nice time too and that it would be nice to see him again. I don't hear from him until Wednesday afternoon (borderline too much silence in my books, but not crazy long for some I guess). He texts me something teasing me related to our Sunday conversation, and I text something teasing him back. Then I don't hear from him for 3 hours but I can see that he read my text. Can't stand uncertainty of this sort, so I text him again saying "are you feeling better?" he responds that he finally went back to work today and that he got a lot done but hopes it's useful because he was still wasn't feeling great. [no allusions to 2nd date, or reminder that he wants to see me again when he feels better....I didn't appreciate that the text was all about him without any follow up asking about how I'm doing] so I just text back saying "feel better!" He doesn't respond, so I text again 10 min later saying "and, if you feel better by the weekend, you should join me at my ultimate frisbee game". He doesn't answer this, I see he's logged into the dating site multiple times in the evening, so I delete his number. Anyways why did he text me today if he wasn't actually still interested?? Did I do something wrong in how I handled texting him? I let him take the lead by waiting until his text today..
kassy Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 Seems like he wasn't that interested. You may have been a bit over eager in your responses, but if he liked you it would t have mattered. So don't worry about it. Just move on and hopefully meet someone a bit more compatible
Pretty.in.Pink Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 Nothing you did. Some people like to have a backup in case others fall through. Others feel guilty about telling you they aren't interested. They pull a slow fade instead. Maybe don't double and triple text him next time, but that's not a deabreaker.
Author simplicity1 Posted November 14, 2013 Author Posted November 14, 2013 ugh it just doesn't make sense to me why he'd text me that he had a great time and wants to see me again, then text me a few days later, and then suddenly stop responding in the conversationdespite having initiated the texts
Pretty.in.Pink Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 Back burnering you while finding the right person... Is there a concrete date on my calendar??? That's what I focused on. The rest is fluff. No date...not that interested. I zoned out unless he locked down our next date.
Guitarisgood Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 Just log it to the category that sh** happens. Oh well, it means you're back on the market, Get out there!
Conners Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 This is why I hate dating sites, the people on them seem to be shady! But the same thing happened to me last year, I met up with a guy that i met on this app called "skout" we went on a date. He texted me as soon as he got home saying he had a great time and sorry if he seemed a bit shy. I thought yeahh great he likes me! kinda txted on and off over 3 weeks with him not hinting about a second date, I thought he was playing hard to get a bit.. then finally he asked me on a second date and that was great too and we even kissed at the end of that one. Then nothing, he wasn't texting much and I felt like i started to message him too much, one night he just completely ignored me so I deleted his number and yep he never texted me again except for a facebook msg like 6 months later which i ignored since I had started dating my current boyfriend. I think some guys are after sex and if they think they aren't gonna get it easy, they give up.. or there are other girls on the go. 1
Author simplicity1 Posted November 14, 2013 Author Posted November 14, 2013 I hate online dating too. All feels so unnatural. But I've been single 2+ years so trying to put myself out there more. He texted back this morning saying 'sounds like fun.' I'm thinking your back burner theory is pretty accurate. I just won't respond unless he texts again. Easier not to respond when I remember how much I hope to not meet my future husband on a dating site 1
Author simplicity1 Posted November 14, 2013 Author Posted November 14, 2013 Do you think his behavior is suggesting low interest? If so, how do I deal with a low interest guy if he ends up following thru with a second date?
starla33 Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 (edited) Do you think his behavior is suggesting low interest? If so, how do I deal with a low interest guy if he ends up following thru with a second date? i would just assume if there is no 2nd date within a week of the first he is low interest. Also, do not double text. If he doesn't respond to a text leave it alone. Edited November 14, 2013 by starla33
Neville107 Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 Next this guy!!! He's just too flaky. Find someone who calls you and speaks to you like a person who wants to connect and that you can feel out in the reflection of their voice. With texting, facebook, twitter - you're just another screen name that will be treated as such. He doesn't care that you texted, he doesn't care that you're waiting for a response - He's not really interested but will accept something physical if you offer. Next Him!!
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