rglove Posted December 21, 2004 Posted December 21, 2004 Rules of Attraction/Compatibility!!! A Good Rapport: that you have a good connection, that you relate easily with one another, with communication, give and take, and understanding. Mental Chemistry: it is important to a relationship and its survival to have mental stimulation, to be mentally stimulated by your partner, that the parties involved are mentally compatible and able to communicate on a mental level. When the passion dies down and animalistic need stops being the driving force of your relationship, that relationship has to be sustained in other ways, communication being one of them, and if you’re bored by your partners mental abilities, their ability to carry on a conversation, you’re soon to be bored, by them, thusly, you must have some sort of mental rapport, chemistry, to carry your relationship, when the intoxicating highs of love wane, die down!!! Physical Attraction/Chemistry: that the person you are involved with be someone that you find physically attractive and by whom you are physically roused, that this person be someone you have a physical attraction to and for and find stirring. A Mutual Affinity for one another: that you both have a mutual/shared attraction, liking, of one another. An Emotional Connection: that you have strong feelings of love, caring, devotion, and kinship, towards each another. Amorous feelings of Attraction/Affinity towards one another: that you’re strongly attracted to one another, with feelings of sexual love, desire, and affection, that you’re enamored of each other. Sexual Compatibility: that you and your partner be on a similar sexual level, that your affinity of the sexual be in and of the same range, and your sex drives be in close proximity of one another’s. A Soul Kinship: that you share a likeness of soul, spirit, being, that your essential essence be similar, and you possess a spiritual connection, a compatible souls. These are the rules of attraction/compatibility, as I see them. If you agree, disagree, or feel some rules are missing, were left out, let your voice be heard. Feel free to add some additional or comment on the existing…
Weird Posted December 21, 2004 Posted December 21, 2004 naturally half the things you list go out the window as most people age/get married.
alphamale Posted December 21, 2004 Posted December 21, 2004 I would also add socio-economic compatability cause this can become a big issue.
LiveLoveLaugh Posted December 21, 2004 Posted December 21, 2004 Originally posted by alphamale I would also add socio-economic compatability cause this can become a big issue. I gotta agree with you on that one Alpha. I once dated a guy that was handsome, sweet, and good in the bedroom. He also didn't have two nickles to rub together, which I found out to what extreme when he asked me to do his taxes for him. Ok, fine for now. I met him through a friend who told me he had some issues that had affected his income the past year, but he had some good opportunities. So, one day I casually asked him about his plans for the future, and if he had considered this one construction job that could have been a long term offer, and he just shrugged. It wasn't that he didn't have any money, it was that he didn't care, he was content to just go day to day, and had no plans to make anything more of himself. He was 35! I'm sorry, I have a decent job and no plans to spend my life scraping by and sitting home everynight. Yeah, I dumped him. I know this sounds really selfish or shallow, you guys are probably thinking "see, that's all women want". Not true. But, for a relationship to work, you have to at least be on the same level, and have a plan for the future. Now, am I going to get a bunch of crap for this?
tokyo Posted December 22, 2004 Posted December 22, 2004 Originally posted by rglove A Mutual Affinity for one another: that you both have a mutual/shared attraction, liking, of one another. Amorous feelings of Attraction/Affinity towards one another: that you’re strongly attracted to one another, with feelings of sexual love, desire, and affection, that you’re enamored of each other. What´s the difference between those two?
Author rglove Posted December 22, 2004 Author Posted December 22, 2004 Originally posted by kooky What´s the difference between those two? kooky, you asked what was the difference between A Mutual Affinity for one another: that you both have a mutual/shared attraction, liking, of one another. & Amorous feelings of Attraction/Affinity towards one another: that you’re strongly attracted to one another, with feelings of sexual love, desire, and affection, that you’re enamored of each other. Well, the difference is in the word Amorous; with means: strongly moved by love and especially sexual love, where as Affinity is a natural attraction or feling of kinship, so thusly, Affinity can be shared between close friends, is shared, usually, by those sharing the same Zodiac sign, what it is basically is to vibe with someone, like how you just click with that really good friend that has your back as you have thiers, but as you can see, to really vibe with someone is not necessarily to feel sexual love for them and that therein, lies the difference.
moimeme Posted December 22, 2004 Posted December 22, 2004 Any particular reason you're looking for feedback? Writing a book or article or something? That can sell with the thousands of others?
tokyo Posted December 22, 2004 Posted December 22, 2004 Originally posted by rglove A Mutual Affinity for one another: that you both have a mutual/shared attraction, liking, of one another. An Emotional Connection: that you have strong feelings of love, caring, devotion, and kinship, towards each another. I guess, I meant those two here. Also does sexual compatibility not include physical affinity?
VirginiaBob Posted December 22, 2004 Posted December 22, 2004 I'd actually throw your whole list out the door and say that opposites can attract too. Your list is about 2 people being almost the same. Except for sex, why bother even being with this person when you could just spend time with yourself, since that's what it seems you are looking for anyways.
alphamale Posted December 22, 2004 Posted December 22, 2004 Originally posted by VirginiaBob I'd actually throw your whole list out the door and say that opposites can attract too. Your list is about 2 people being almost the same. Except for sex, why bother even being with this person when you could just spend time with yourself, since that's what it seems you are looking for anyways. But some would say that men and women ARE opposites already so they are attracted to each other. Unless someone is gay (not that there is anyting wrong with that) the theory holds. But yes, i see what you mean. The perfect match is half opposite and half similar of yourself.
Author rglove Posted December 22, 2004 Author Posted December 22, 2004 Originally posted by VirginiaBob I'd actually throw your whole list out the door and say that opposites can attract too. Your list is about 2 people being almost the same. Except for sex, why bother even being with this person when you could just spend time with yourself, since that's what it seems you are looking for anyways. VB, opposites attract, but you can be too opposite, and the particular key in these rules is compatibility. It speaks of attraction, for attraction is important, but there have plenty of people that I have been attracted to, but we just didn't vibe. Now, true, you can be too alike, and you do need to have some differences, to offset one another, when involved in a relationship, but too many, and it causes major areas of friction, which is not a good thing. What this was basically born of was taking a look at the people I vibed with and why I vibed with them, also examining, the innate keys to attraction. And me personally, I want some one who can understand me at my basic core, and it'such easier when there core is basically the same as my. I'm easygoing and free-spirited, and couldn't make it well with someone anal and over-stiff, or someone one over domineering physco and on the jealous, possessive side. We just wouldn't mesh well. The anal, stuffy, stiff, person wouldn't allow for free-spirited fun, and i might soon get bored. With the over domineering, jealous, possessive type personality I might have firey passion, but that fire I know, would burn me eventually, for I just can't deal with all that stress, so for me, I would need someone who understood who I am and how I saw things. They wouldn't have to agree with me, totally, but they would have to be able to deal, with what and whom, I was, am. If your natures are just too different, can there be any bases of compatibility!!!
clandestinidad Posted December 22, 2004 Posted December 22, 2004 rglove....I'm sure youre a wonderful, intelligent person but I have to tell you this: Your posts are boring to me. Maybe its your syntax, or how you go ON & ON, or how you seem to be trying to give everyone some kind of relationship lessons.....if you already have all the answers why are you posting to see who agrees and who doesnt?? B/c when someone doesnt agree with you, you come back w/ more ramblings about why they should. I'm sorry....but its very annoying, and I usually cant even make it through reading your whole post. If you would relax and have fun, and give people helpful advice, or ask particular questions in order to get advice/opinions with an open mind, then I would be a bit more interested in what you have to say. Now I guess I'll address your topic here, so that I'm not accused of posting off-topic..... Ugh....I have to read this WHOLE damn thing......j/k I AGREE with you that the "nature" of people in a relationship must be compatible for it to work. Otherwise, there is no common ground. Also, its too difficult to have fun w/ someone when it requires so much effort to try to be on the same wavelength. People are in relationships to ENJOY LIFE TOGETHER, and if its too hard to agree, have the same sense of humor, similar goals, similar values, etc etc then there wouldnt be very much "enjoyment" happening
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