Struggling a interpret the actions of a girl I've been seeing, doesn't make sense!!

[goforitpal]

Ok so to set the scene, I met her in Toronto, she was french but lives in Montreal and I'm english but living in New York. We spent one night together, had an amazing connection unlike I have with any other girl but didn't have sex. Anyway, we exchanged numbers and she said that she really hoped that she would see me again.

 

Fast forward to when I get home, she's added me on Fb. So I texted (well, whatsapp'd - it's free internationally!) her, and she finished her first reply with "So more importantly when do I get to see you again?" Anyway, over the next few weeks, we send messages back and forth between each other, but it's usually pretty infrequent, 2-3 days in between each (I kind of followed suit in waiting a little bit as I didn't want to come off as being keen). She told me she was coming down to New York in a couple of months. However in three instances, she seemed to just ignore my messages. The first time I just played it off (a few days later) by saying I'd come up with a plan for dinner when she was down. The second time, I just sent her a message a couple of weeks after the one she'd ignored and the conversation seemed to re-ignite. The final time however, I decided just to leave it as she would be coming down in about 2 weeks anyway.

 

So the day arrives and I get a fb message in the morning saying that her phone had run out of battery so she was using her friends phone until she could get a charger but she was really sorry for not being in touch, she was looking forward to having dinner that evening and she hoped I was still up for it. Fast forward to the afternoon, her battery was obviously back on, because I got a text, whatsapp and another facebook message saying she was up for dinner and wanted to know where to meet.

 

So we met up later that evening, and had a really incredible night. The connection was there again, but just even more so this time. We ended up sleeping together and the next morning, we were on the subway and she was just holding on to me tightly, kissing me every so often. We had to go our separate ways as I had plans, but agreed to meet the next day before she flew back to Montreal. Anyway, we met up and at first neither of us really knew how to react to each other until we were in the park, and she just kissed me. After that we basically would not take our hands off each other. Not in a sleazy way, more a coupley type way and it felt so nice. She even suggested that I should come up and stay with her soon. When she finally had to leave, we spent a few minutes, just kissing each other...it was hard to see her go.

 

Later that evening, I sent her a text to say how nice it was to have gotten to see her and that I hoped it wouldn't be too long until I saw her again. I didn't receive a reply for a couple of days but when I did, she told me how happy she'd been that she'd gotten to see me and that I'd made her whole trip (Iwas also the most caring guy she'd ever met). I followed suit on previous texting etiquette and left it a day or so before replying, but it has now been nearly a week and still no reply from her.

 

[i should say that when we met up, she apologised for being terrible at keeping in contact, she had loads of school work and a job on at the time, I just don't know how that's something that would stop you replying to someone's text, especially when you (on the face of it anyway) seemed to be so into them...]

 

I am just really confused, I don't know what to do as I really really like this girl, I'm so worried about messing it up that I've kind of frozen. Do I keep on waiting? Do I call her? Text her again? I would really appreciate any suggestions from an outside perspective as I just have no clue what to do... I then start running it over and over in my head and I start to think that maybe it's over...I really don't want it to be though!

[lino]

I think she's using you as a backup guy from what you've written.

 

Enjoying the moments with you but then being very patchy with communication is typical behaviour of someone using another as a time filler until what they really want comes along.

 

I you're getting some sex out of it keep going with it but don't count on too much more.

[Lansing]

I agree I wouldn't hold my breath with this but it could be that she doesn't know how to respond or what to text and maybe it is just easier to ignore what you can't have then to be in constant contact. Sounds like she enjoyed herself in the moment but maybe it is just too much for her to keep in contact for several more months/etc until you see each other again (potentially).

[mike414]

I'm actually in a similar situation with a girl. She is all over me and we have excellent dates, sex, and conversations in person but when it comes to texting the rest of the week she always goes MIA. I can't stand when people do this because in my opinion it is beyond rude. It literally takes a couple seconds to say you are busy instead of ignoring.

 

The other guys may be right that she is using you as backup but don't necessarily write her off yet. Leave her alone for a while and see what happens. She will either get back in contact with you or she won't. If she does, plan another meet up. You don't have to be in constant contact and you shouldn't infer anything from her lack of texting (although I understand how irritating it can be). If she doesn't respond forget about her and move on. She may creep back in to your life at some point but you will be out with someone new at that point and it will be her loss for not being attentive, good luck.