ThomasJW Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 So a guy is hitting on my ex, right now I'm feeling a truckload of emotions including jealousy with this situation. Both me and said ex are on good friendly terms and said that the possibility of getting back together may happen when she feels ready to commit to a relationship, but these days she requires time to herself sometimes lessening contact with each other. Around 4-5 days ago a guy added her online and both started talking, to what depth I don't know but by the looks of it they're good friends now, but here's my question: How can I compete with him to win her over to my side that I'm the better guy? Note: I'm a aspiring filmmaker and he's a rookie car macanic, I live further away but I'm older, we have many similarities she trusts me more than him, but he's more of a 'laughy/jokey' kid. With there still being a chance for us to get back together we said we'll be good friends for the time being and see how things go, but with him now in the picture this complicates things. I'm in need of serious advice, thank you to all that reply.
d0nnivain Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 He's the shiny new toy. She told you that she doesn't want a relationship. You want a relationship. that makes you two fundamentally incompatible. You can't compete to win her back. Even if you are the "better" choice, she can't see that now because she doesn't want to. For your own sake, find something or somebody to keep you busy so you don't have time to focus on what she's doing. 7
MoooOinkBaaa Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 Don't worry about it being single is awesome. Your ex doesn't care what you are. She's already had you. If he turns out better than you for your ex they will soon be arguing about dumb **** like “I can’t fit a cocktail table in my family room because it blocks the foot rest on my reclining sofa." Screw that ****.
Pretty.in.Pink Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 You can't! Here's the harsh reality of your situation--she wanted out of the relationship. That's why she's your ex. She wants less contact with you, not more. You're still trying to keep a connection going in the hopes that you'll eventually get back together. There's no competition with the new guy. It seems she is moving on. Best if you do the same too. This is self-inflicted torture. Totally unnecessary! Stop agonizing about some random dude. Stop reaching out to her. Stop trying to be her friend hoping for more. Let go and instead find someone who actually wants to be in a relationship with you.
StyleOnEm Posted November 16, 2013 Posted November 16, 2013 A lot of WIN in this thread. Absolutely great advice given by everyone. And trying to "win" her back sounds pathetic dude. It's a form of manipulation, basically trying to convince her to be with you. You're better than that.
AShogunNamedMarcus Posted November 16, 2013 Posted November 16, 2013 If there is ever a chance at reconciliation (and this should not be your focus!), looking pathetic and needy will ruin that. Unfortunately, no one respects a sap in love who keeps doing desperate things. I know, it sucks but it's a lesson we all need to learn at some point.
r321148 Posted November 17, 2013 Posted November 17, 2013 She's your ex you don't have any right to be mad at her seeing someone else (if that is what she's doing). She is free to do as she wants; as are you. If she chooses this other guy then does that not tell you how much she valued you? Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't value you?
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